Wednesday, September 24, 2008

“…pick yourself up and get back in the race…”

That’s life! Am I dating myself with that Frank Sinatra song? Well I enjoy some of the words, for example. “…each time I find myself laying flat on my face, I just pick myself up and get back in the race”! For years now that has been how I exist. I have been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king, I’ve been up and down and over and out as I am sure many of us have been. The thing I know and I just always had a gut instinct was that I had to Never Give Up!

In my past my biggest downfall was not that “one binge” that I would have, no, never did any one meal put 100 pounds or 600 pounds on me. It was the behavior that followed that binge that became my problem. Initially it is just the taste of the food itself. Oh the experts may say it is the “salty taste, or the sweet taste”, all I know is that it is the “Good Taste” that sets me off. Let me not lie, pizza taste good and never did one slice of pizza ever satisfy me.

Anyway, there I would be struggling along “dieting” following one program or another, one gimmick or some new idea! Doing well for a while, numbers dropping, clothes drooping, and compliments coming and then one day (with or without a reason) I just was not going to have one more balanced “healthy” choice. I would give into the voice, I would weaken to the struggle, I would fall prisoner to the drive, and I became a slave to the compulsion of the self –gluttonous, self–destructive, yet un-controllable behavior. I would eat until there was just no more left; I would eat as if it was the last hour in earth’s being. At that moment nothing else counted, just consume as much food, as fast as I could. I was in a trance. Then often (not by my own power) but for some reason those many moments would be over. Then I had to deal with the after.

What did the after consist of? Guilt! The whys? “Why did I do that? Why did I blow the diet! All my hard work I wasted! It is just not going to work, I can not do it”! Then the next thoughts…. “Oh, I should have had bacon and eggs too or maybe crumb cake”. “Well I can not start the diet again without having a pound of bologna, I will have to have that tomorrow and then I will restart the diet the next day”!

The problem is the next day rarely comes and if it does it usually is a year (and 75 pounds) later.

That is the difference now!

I know that if there is a choice that I make now, that may not be the best one for me. A choice that in the past would have lead to an endless battle of guilt and self-destruction, just does not have to be that way anymore.

If I find myself lying flat on my face, I just have to pick myself up and get back in the race!!! I am an okay person! I am a human being, who at times, I may need to make adjustments in my life, and that is fine! Life is not a mathematical equation and sometimes 2+2 is not always going to easily add up to 4. Sometimes you have to help it along a bit. So why not, I am worth the effort, you are worth the effort!

I am thrilled to have a second (and third and fourth) chance if necessary. I am here today, I am alive today, and I am enjoying my life today because of second chances and my ability to, “not give up”.

My wife reminded me of something today. She had asked me what I was doing today and I told her I was blogging. She asked me about what and I told her. She reminded me that my “picking myself up” has given me an opportunity. An opportunity that I would like to share with you.

Twenty years ago, this past January I was at my lowest, and the year “2008” was not even a thought in my head. Then there was May of 1996, when they were taking me out my window with a forklift, in front of the whole world to see, “2008” was not even a dream of mine. Yet resilience, perseverance and just good old “attitude” of not giving up, has allowed me to be where I am today.

I am enjoying my life as if I was 25 years old once again; everyday is a new experience or just and old one that I may have forgotten. The point is that all us need to realize that our recovery, our quest to get well will not go without a bump here or there. Anything any of us strives for, go for, set out to do, will at times come up against a glitch or two. It is up to us to push forward, get through the storm and the bright days are in the future.

I have struggled for a long time, some times too long to think about but every battle every win, every backslide is worth the chance to be here today! Right where I am! Who I am!

Picking ourselves up, allows us to live ….not only live but also to be alive!

I say, I am going to be a player. It is a lot more fun to be a player than to be an observer and ultimately a victim. A player can play at any level, no matter what our physical limitations we may have.

So if you find yourself lying flat on your face, just pick yourself up and get back in the race …as long as you are in the race, YOU ARE A WINNER!

Good Luck my dear friends

Love

Mike

43 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Mike
I am new to your blog and I am glad I have found it. This means so much to me. I am 22 years old and I weigh over 350 pounds and I am desperate. My mom talks about you all the time and I looked you up. I am going to pick myself up...
Ashley

Anonymous said...

Hi Mike
Picking myself up has been my biggest problem. You have so much wisdom on the subject and I know I have to get on the ball. Thanks for the tips and inspiration.
You are a great guy.
Katie

Anonymous said...

WOW pick myself up well that is not easy for me. No not because of my size but because of my head, but reading your blog has given me the second chance that I can do and each time I fall I need to get back up and get back in the race. I have too say my falls have been less and I now am picking myself up right away instead of waiting for that 15-20 pound gain. Thanks so much and keep on blogging.

Chubby

Anonymous said...

MIKE,
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lbs. I AM NOW 265 UNDER 3 CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?? I HAVE A GREAT COUNSLER , I AM WALKING BETTER, LIVING A BIT BETTER JUST DEEP DEPRESSION FROM WHERE I DO NOT KNOW, I SHOULD BE HAPPY WENT FROM SIZE 28 PANTS TO 22 BLOUSE 26 28 TO 18 20, YET I HAVE A HEAVY HEART, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT MY TOTAL LOSS 102 AND THAT IS WONDERFUL, I KNOW IF ANYONE HAS ANY INSPIRATION FOR ME PLEASE PASS IT ON, I WANT SO TO BE HAPPY, AT 62 I NEED TO LIGHTEN UP FAST. MY PRAYERS AND WISHES GO OUT TO ALL OF YOU!
RO

Anonymous said...

Mike....and all the bloggers....

Hello to all...

Wow i read this and first thing that came to mind was bouncing back is soooooo very hard for me ..that one meal turns into 2 then 4 then so on .... it becomes a vicious cycle...on that i have such a hard time to break.....
But i know deep in my heart that at 44 years old i need to break the cycle and learn to forgive and that is what it is about for me...its all about forgiveness..forgiving myself for it...not making excuses but standing up and taking the blame for what i did...no one put the food in front of me...i did that...and i think im ready to say i forgive myself .. im not really sure...because it is so easy to blame....what if this didnt happen or what if that didnt go on...or what if he didnt say this...well no i cant do that anymore.....i need to break the cycle...and begin living my life....i am in the process now of buying my own home and the stress of that is enough....but i know i will get through it hey i didnt get to 44 by not fighting all the way...

hugggs and love to all
Carol

Anonymous said...

Dear Mike
Thank You for your insight it is so right what you have to say. I am so happy to have found this sight. You are a real special person and I am a better person for finding your blog and following your story. Do you think you will ever right some books, I know that I would be first on line. Seriously, you have the experience and a special wisdom to share with us and motivate so many. Think about it!
Kindness
Sidney

Anonymous said...

How true!
I am a person who has gained so much weight over the years and it is all because I have not been able to pick myself up after a fall or binge. Mike thank you for bringing this out into the open I think it is so important to talk about and you seem to know the topics that need to be talked about.
Mike you are so important to so many of us. I will do better and I owe it to myself and to you Mike
A friend who is grateful
Mindy

Anonymous said...

Dear Mike
I want to thank you and also thank Mindy. I am just like her and I too know that I need to pick myself up. I am so happy you bring this to the attention of so many and give us a forum to open talk about it. I am going to do like Mindy and begin to change my life. I will let you know how I do.
Mike what do you think I should do if I can not pick myself up?
I will think positive
Keep talking Mike we need to hear it.
Gwen Ky

Anonymous said...

I have found this blog which I read as often as possible to be very inspiring and helpful. I enjoy what Michael has to say he has a lot of wisdom and knowledge. I also pick up much inspiration from what the other people contribute in the comments and then what Michael responds to.
I think that somehow we need to get the word out about this blog and Michael please add me to your Newsletter email list.
Thank you
Harold

Anonymous said...

Dear Mike
Thank you. I am sitting here on a Sunday afternoon feeling a little down and I have to admit I read your last three Posting and I feel as if a light began to shine over my head and inside my heart! I feel as if I have a chance. What a wonderful Sunday. Mike you have a great message and it needs to be heard. It really has helped me. I am 31 years old alone and almost 100 pounds overweight and I now believe this can change. Mike I hope you allow me to continue to write to you.
Alan from North Dakota

Anonymous said...

I read what you have to say and i find it very up lifting, i relate to much of what you say. however when i read everyones comments no matter how insightful or true i find myself thinking" please dear god i dont want to belong to this group", let me belong to any group but this as i find it one of the saddeest problems on earth!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Mike
I have to agree with the person who says this is the saddest problems on earth. I have watched both my mother and my daughter live with this problem and my heart breaks. I lost my mom, she was 50 years old 300 plus pounds. They say it was her heart, I give them the benefit of the doubt but if it wasn't for her weight I do not think she would be dead.
I now sit and weep inside while my 26 year old daughter is going down the same path. I feel hopeless. I have followed your story and I know you are not 175 pounds but your attitude, ability to survive and stay so positive is inspirational. Can you give me some words of wisdom, as a parent I assume you know how helpless we feel when we can not help our children.
Please Mike tell me something
Scared in Alabama
Vera

Anonymous said...

Dear Michael
This is a new blog that I have found recently when I was looking to see how you are doing. I have to tell you, I have really been inspired and impressed by your writings.
I will be back again and I hope you continue to write.
Joan

Anonymous said...

Hi Michael
I appreciate all your sharing and trying to help so many. I want you to know you have made a change in my life. You really have helped me. I have 80 pounds to lose and worse my cholesterol, pressure, and sugar is all high to dangerous levels. My doctor tells me I am a time bomb. I have been making changes, I am smiling and I am reading your blog daily. I know it is helping, I am eating healthier and doing a little exercise.
You are great
Samantha

Anonymous said...

I find this blog very helpful. I enjoy what Mike has to say and get much from what the comments are also.

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Ashley
I am sure you have heard it from so many others but you are so young. Except when I say it let me tell you what I mean. I wish at 22 years old I had your wisdom to realize I needed real help. Oh I was already going to a therapist to lose weight and a hypnotist and I had been on every diet since I was 15 but I was doing it all for others and the wrong reasons.
You seem to be on the right track! You realize you have to pick yourself up, that you are desperate and one other thing you have the complete power to change your life. When I say power I am not just talking "will power" where you have to stick to ridged diet program (although that helps) but the power I talk about is the power to make changes and get things done for you! You are in the drivers seat Ashley and having youth on your side usually means you have the time and hopefully still have the health.
So go for it Ashley, I believe in you and keep in touch....You Can Do It!!!
Good Luck and love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Sweet Katie
Thank you and I bet you are a great gal! I have to admit something to you but don't tell anyone....I have a lot of wisdom on "picking yourself up" because I have fallen so many times. Then I had two choices either stay down, foll over and die (not an option) or Pick myself up brush myself off and start all over again. I have to thank my maker that I have had the chance to do that.
I have to thank the people who have supported me and waited for me and my professional team also.
But most of all I have to thank myself ...every once in a while...it's a good thing to do!
Katie I hope the tips help and you take care of you and keep in touch
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

WOW pick myself up well that is not easy for me. No not because of my size but because of my head, but reading your blog has given me the second chance that I can do and each time I fall I need to get back up and get back in the race. I have too say my falls have been less and I now am picking myself up right away instead of waiting for that 15-20 pound gain. Thanks so much and keep on blogging.

Dear Chubby
First I want to thank you for sharing so much with us, I know that your comments are helping you, me and others.
Now, I can tell you are a fighter and I bet you are also big enough (not in size) to not only help yourself but also to help others you love and care about. Just remember Chubby, sometimes spreading yourself too thin leaves very little for you and you are the key person. Without you, you do no good for yourself and certainly you do no good for the others.
Chubby please keep sharing with us, what you say about getting up sooner now before putting back the 15 or 20 pounds is the key to success. No one can stick to anything day in and day out and still be human but it is the getting control quickly that counts.
Thanks Chubby
Be well
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

My dear sweet Ro
All I can share with you is that happiness comes from inside out. Things around us can make us happy for the moment but if the happiness is originated from the inside of us first then what we receive from outward stimulation just will not last. How do we get happy from with in...well that is the million dollar question. Most of the time we are already but do not realize it. We are so use to feeling depressed we do not know we really are basically have happiness from within. You know Dorothy from my favorite movie "The Wizard of Oz" says it best at the end to her Aunt Em. They ask her what has she learned and she responds "the next time I going searching for my hearts desire, I will not look any further than my own back yard"! Meaning that, we do not have to go to far to find happiness, just look around us, inside of us, look what we have. Your home, your husband, your family, You HAD cancer, you have suffered from a weight problem for years and are here to talk about it. Hey from my point of view your glass is more than half full rather than almost empty. Besides all that no one I know loves like you do, you are a great wife, mom and friend.
Ro don't look for this happiness to far .... look within and just let it be.
I love you Ro
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Carol my dear friend
Blame has no place in recovery but forgiveness is so powerful ......and fun too!!!!
Love ya
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear kind Sidney
I think about writing a book all the time. I am looking for a publisher....do you have one?
Sidney, I am glad you have found our blog also and that you enjoy it, I look forward to visiting it again and sharing with us from time to time.
You be well and take care of yourself, I feel you are a special person, I hope you realize it!
Love and kindness
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Mindy
I am glad that you have made up your mind to do better. I want you to know that I believe that you can do it. Keep in touch and let us know how things are and remember Mindy Never Give Up!
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Gwen
The first thing I think you should do if you can not pick yourself up is .....not even to think that. You can always pick yourself up as long as you have breath in your body. Never say never! Maybe you and Mindy should hook up and support each other.
The important thing is to keep working it and never give up! You are a winner, you are worth all effort and Gwen keep in touch!
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Harold
I would love to add you to the newsletter but you need to email me your email address at michaelhebranko@yahoo.com. meantime that you visit and get something from the blog. Thank you for your comments and good thoughts. We are trying to spread the word of the blog by word of mouth (or email) so if you can help spread the blog, I would appreciate it.
Harold keep in touch and be well
your friend
Mike
I am glad in the

Mike Hebranko said...

My friend Alan
There is life there is hope! Remember that, also remember that 100 pounds can be gone in about a year (at a healthy 2 pounds a week). it is a number, just eat healthy, move a little more each day (check with your doctor first)the number can and will change. So will your life, and your surroundings and your relationships. Once you feel better about you then that will be spread.
Alan write as often as you would like and keep in touch and never give up!
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Anonymous
Not sure by what you mean as this being the "saddest problems" on earth. It is sad because it is frustrating, very frustrating. None of us want to be 300, 500, 800 pounds or even 40 pounds overweight. It is not healthy, it can be depressing, often the public is not very understanding, there is not really much medical hope for us out there and worse, we are hardest on ourselves.
To some they may say "well why not push yourself away from the table" well that is the million dollar question! Besides most of my eating wasn't done at a table.
So when you say "saddest" it is because people are dieing from this disease and more and more of our youth are getting heavier. Yet every one of us who come to this blog with hope in our hearts or who wake up every day and truly believe that there is a chance to make a difference, are real winners. We are winners because as long as we do not give up we can not fail!
So it may be sad but we are not sad!!

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Vera
First so sorry about your dear mom. People die so much sooner than they should from being overweight...I will keep her in my prayers.
Now for your daughter. Oh, how I can relate to you when it comes to a child. Once they become an age where we can not tell them what to do anymore and we can see them doing something that is hurting themselves in the long run, surely can be scary.
The exception is in this case your daughter knows!! She is 26 she knows that her weight is a problem physically, maybe socially, and emotionally.
As a parent we have to be there for her when she needs us. In the meantime you might write her a note, telling her how you love her and worry about her, and your concerns especially in view of grandma and that you will help her in anyway possible. Maybe join a gym with her, join a weigh group or whatever she may want you to do.
If I can help in any way you let me know. Good luck Vera, keep in touch and keep the faith!
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Joan
You are welcomed and I look forward to you coming back. I hope all is well with you Joan, take care
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Samantha
You are great too!! Good luck with your 80 pounds, I believe you will do it! I also am no doctor but I bet those numbers change (get better) when that 80 pounds becomes 50 then 30 then 10 etc:
Let us know Samantha
Go for it!
Love
Mike

Anonymous said...

Hi Michael
Just a note to let you know you are doing great and this blog is more than inspirational. I love coming here.
Lynn

Anonymous said...

Dear Mike
It is so good to find you and I hope you do not mind me saying, I am glad to find you alive. I had heard you had past. Well sounds like you are doing fine and I have found this blog is a blessing at this point in my life. My weight is out of control, my family is about to give up on me and I do not know what I can do. Yet as I have read your blog and some of the past postings I feel a little hopeful, I thank you.
Bonnnie RI

Anonymous said...

Mike
Keep up the good work. I have a question. Why have you not been on the radio or television more often. You should have a daily or weekly show bringing out the situations and solutions the overweight person faces. Some motivation, talk about legitimate and gimmicks out there. Who better to talk about this kind of thing than you. You have put yourself out there in your best and worse of times. The world respects you. Think about it.
Dave

Anonymous said...

I love coming here, it is so uplifting.

Lacy said...

This could have not been written at a better time! I recently competed at my nationals.Four of the five events were "speed " events.I got my but whooped.To be honest it was a hard slap tpo the face.I realize now I have got to put my nose to the grindstone and drop some of this weight!
As always Mike your blog is inspiring.I have told a friend about you and how amazing this blog of yours is.I hope she stops by

Anonymous said...

Mike & Lacy
First Lacy, I have been coming to this blog for a while. I just have not left a comment but Lacy i have read your comments and have found you to be an inspiration to me. You should be proud of your accomplishments and I am sure you will bounce back and do what needs to be done.
Mike thank you for your input and sharing of your life. I find your words and attitude to boost my own life and I am glad I have found this blog.
Good luck to all of us.
Gina Ms

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Lynn
I am glad you enjoy the blog and it is our pleasure to have you visiting and hope you continue to be a regular. Hope all is well and keep smiling.
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Bonnie
First you can not be as happy as I am that you have found me alive! I hope you will find that for quite a while.
As for you and your family. I am not sure if our families really "give up" on us or it is just that they get frustrated and just do not know what to do. But Bonnie you know what to do, you really do! There is no easy or fast answer but there is an answer. We have to eat better and do more physical activity. There may be moments that you may not do as well as others ....but that is to be expected. The thing is to try to keep them to a minimum and certainly do not ever let those moments allow you to give up on yourself!
Bonnie you are a winner and winners never quit! You can do it! I believe in you! Keep in touch!
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dave
Thank you! I truly appreciate the complimentary words you had for me! If you find a producer who would like a daily or weekly show facing the issues of the number one secondary cause of all deaths in America (obesity) then you let me know! There are over 50 million adults out there that are over 5oo pounds and many many millions that face weight issues every day. Issues that deal with health, relationships, discrimination and so many other things. People need a place to be educated with true facts and not just gimmicks. Also the average public could have the opportunity to really understand the causes, the life, and the struggles involved. I know through education we can facilitate change. Change in attitude, results, and health. Change in how the world looks at an overweight person and how that person looks at themselves. Maybe through a little self understanding may come some self worth and forgiveness.
Well Dave as you see I have a lot to say, who knows what the future holds in the meantime I have my blog.
Be well Dave and keep in touch
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Hi Lacy
I am so proud to know you and honored that you share your life with us! I also know that when you say you will put your nose to the grindstone that is exactly what you do. My short experience of you tells me that when you put your mine to something you are a "DOER"!
Lacy, as you know our weight struggle is harder than any training or competition you have ever had to be in. One reason is that it is a lifetime "training" process. Yet Lacy you are a "winner" and you can do it! Good Luck my friend and please continue to keep in touch. If you need me you know my email address...with
Love and respect
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Gina
Welcome to our "Blog Family". Thanks for the kind words to me and the support for Lacy.
Good luck to you and I hope you keep coming back!
Love
Mike

Anonymous said...

Mike
I am new to this blog. I am Seventeen years old and I am Fat. I weigh over 200 pounds and am 5ft 5. My friends are not easy on me and forget about the boys. I don't understand all the things I read on your blog I have read your last 5 postings. You make it sound like I can really take this weight off and I think I believe you. Can I email you and can we talk?
Thank you
Missy

Mike Hebranko said...

OOOPPS!!!

I AM SO SORRY !!!

SOME HOW I LOCKED OUT THE ABILITY FOR ALL OUR BLOG FRIENDS TO POST FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS. I BELIEVE I HAVE UN-DONE IT! I AM SO NOT COMPUTER SAVY!
YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!
LOVE
MIKE

Anonymous said...

Thank you Mike
I have been trying to post for the past few days. I have been seeing you on the television and I have to tell you seeing you and now reading these blogs have helped me begin to put my life together. I thank you
Becky