Friday, March 19, 2010

Fall Back and Spring Ahead….

For many of us in America this was the weekend when we push our clocks ahead one hour. I was up Saturday evening/Sunday morning and I was watching the clock on the cable TV box and it said 1:59. I was waiting to see it switch to 2am and much to my amazement it switched to 3:00am.

What happened to Two A.M.? I missed it. A lot of things could have happened in that hour. An hour is pretty important to me and it seems to be getting more important as I get…, well let us just say more mature in life. Oh, let me just say it as it is…as I get older. What am I hiding? I am getting older and all I can say about that is …Thank God! Wow! I am getting older.

I have learned to appreciate each and every hour that I am around. Life is beautiful. There are moments within everyone’s life that things may seem gloomy and really dark. There may be times when horrible things may really happen.
Yet in general and as a whole, I love life and wouldn’t trade it for anything. When I lose an hour I feel cheated. I could have used that hour.

Every hour has meaning to me. I spent many of hours in my life which some may look back at and say were wasted hours, wasted life. I was homebound for many years, bed bound for a few. I have been in Rehabilitation Centers for three years on and off, hospitals hundreds of times and certainly locked up in my own body for almost a lifetime. Have I wasted time? Am I a wasted life?

Some may see my life that way. To those, I say. Take a look deep inside yourself first before you are ready to judge my life. My life is what it is and was what it was. I am here because of where I came from. Where I go next? I go forward, I am always headed forward. There are still times in my life where, for some crazy reason, I find myself going down that silly dark path but I do eventually find my way. I will continue too, as long as I have time in my life and it does not run out on me.

Eventually it will run out. When it does, then my turn will be over and I will know that I never achieved everything that I did. Was it everything I planned? Did I reach every goal? Of course I didn’t complete my “Bucket List”, but man do I have a lot to be thankful for: things I never thought I would have!

When I was a young “whipper snapper”, in my very early twenties, I thought someday I would be President. Oh, I had all the Ideas on how I could solve the world’s problems and make this country an even better place for all (I still I could). In those years, I never thought I would find anyone to fall in love with me and marry me. Children? I didn’t think that was going to ever happen for me and grandchildren, you must be kidding. I was going to be dead according to all the doctors by the time I was the age of 30, therefore grandchildren just were not in my future.

Look what happened! Here I am, maybe not the President of the United States but I am the luckiest man on earth! Look where I am. I am a soul mate, a person who I dreamed of being with from when I was 14 years old and now this angel is my wife. I am a dad, and I am a Ga Ga (grandpa). What great titles to have. I have to tell you when I think of the two titles of…Mr. President, or Ga-Ga, well the truth be, the Ga-Ga title has got me Goo-Goo!

I have gained wonderful relationships, I am considered a friend to many people and I have many friends. I have a great supportive family. That is why every hour of every day has become so very important to me and should be important, to all of us. All of us should use the time we have, to do what we can, in the moment, for our self right now and to make yourself happy. Use the time we have to build, mend and create good strong solid relationships with others. Use this moment to make a good choice for yourself and do a healthy thing.

Too many of us use our precious time to damage our self. We will use it to overindulge and/or abuse our self physically and or emotionally. We will use the time at hand to stuff our problems, swallow them, smoke them or inject them but this behavior will never solve them.

We need to use the time wisely to solve the things that do not work in our life. To search for reasons things might not work for you and then find the solutions. We can begin to make positive changes in our lives right now! Today!
Remember as long as you have the breath then you have the time and as long s we have time, there is hope and then it will never be too late!

Life is to be enjoyed and though there are those dark moments, we still need to stay focused on the overall picture of “Life itself”. Life is “Light” and the beauty of what life can hold for you, for me, for us is just enchanting.

We are here for a finite period of time. What that time is, no one knows. If we are going to spend the time beating ourselves up for a whole lifetime then we have wasted a good opportunity, a good chance, and a time to enjoy… then we have wasted a life.

I had a friend; he will be my friend in my heart forever. He may not be physically on this earth anymore but he will be my friend as long as I will be able to think and feel. The truth is I hadn’t spoken to him in over twenty years but that did not mean he was not my friend. Nicky was a guy who from my viewpoint had everything to live for. In the day, many of the young woman desired him and I am sure some of the young men too. He had the looks any guy wouldn’t mind having. I know looking from my 700 pound body, I often desired his body but not in the way maybe the woman did. I wanted to physically have his body. Nicky also was the kindest, loving, most gentle guy you ever wanted to know. He loved my little son (at the time). He was a dedicated friend, employee and sort of my “left hand man”. He was loyal and would do anything for you. He was shy but at the same time had a nice personality. Nicky had one more thing; Nicky didn’t have much self-confidence. He was not comfortable in his own self. Something bugged him. He struggled a lifetime with his demons and just couldn’t get it together and now Nicky is no longer with us, physically on this earth.

Fifty-five years old may seem old to some but Nicky couldn’t hold on to that “Light of life”. He just couldn’t let himself; stay focused on the “Light of Life”. He tried; I know him and I bet he tried real hard. I guess no one knows someone else’s battles. The world will miss our Nicky….Too short a time, before his time!!
None of us know when our time will be up; that is why it is so very important to make the best of today. Don’t put it off until tomorrow. Don’t wait until tomorrow to call that person you wanted to say “Hi” to. Tell “you know who” how special they are today.

Most of all do that something right, for you now…don’t wait!
Just think if you wait until later to take care of you or do that something nice for you…later may not get here. Later may be that lost hour between 1:59 and 3:00am that I saw go by the other night!

Have a great day, love each other and most of all love yourself …it is okay…