Monday, November 26, 2007

Canonization... Not In My Near Future

Thanksgiving, I had a plan and thank God I did. I knew from the beginning 1400 calories for the day was a little unreasonable and too much pressure on one’s self is not always the best plan either. Of course, I could have made the choice to stay at home alone, but what did I do wrong? Why should I punish myself? Last year I was at Brookhaven with my friends and Brookhaven family and that was a good experience. Because of that choice last year, this year I now could be with my wife and family. I knew from the past that dinner would be about 4pm and starving myself all day was not the way to go. Therefore, I had a light breakfast and was good. My plan for dinner was some turkey (light and dark, I like both) no skin. A teaspoon (yes teaspoon) of stuffing, veggies and that would be it. Later, if I wanted a couple of fresh nuts, I enjoy them on the holidays.

The guest arrived at my mother in laws house and at about 3:50pm I lead the group in Grace and the feast began. First the dreaded “anti-pasta”, those imported Italian chesses. It has been a long time since I tasted chesses at least one that is not salt/free, fat/free, I had a couple of pieces. Just that I can remember it was a couple is a big thing for me (I use to eat pounds of it), I also had a couple of pieces of the imported smoked meats (I paid for that the next day, my body is not use to fatty meats). Then there was the pasta course (I did not even take a plate for that course) but those mini raviolis looked so good I had to taste one. Then the main course! It is kind of funny when you are not busy stuffing your face and you get to observe how other people eat on holidays and what actually goes on the table. There were five yes five different potato dishes on the table. Two different mashed, candy yams, sweet potato pies, and yes a baked sweet potato, (for me). There were two different kinds of stuffing’s, turkey, roast pork and green veggies some creamed and buttered and some steamed and plain for me.

I strayed a bit and I went off my plan and it made me feel a little guilty but it should not have.

Let me share the great things about that day,
1. I was alive
2. I was a participant
3. I was with my wife and loved ones
4. I didn’t have to prepare the food
5. I did not have to deal with leftovers
6. Most of all there was a family medical emergency (we had to call 911) that could have ended up in a disaster but turned out to be okay

We had a lot to be thankful for that day, I am thankful for that day and every other day … so Sainthood is not in my future (I really never expected it to be) but I do thank the Lord that I have today to keep trying and that we all have today as a gift. We need to make the best of this gift.

Have A Great Day …. “All things are possible…”

With Love and Respect,

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

To Eat or Not to Eat ...That is the Question..

Or is it the question? The holidays are right around the corner and for the past 55 years, that has meant an orgy of eating. Usually, it begins a couple of days before Thanksgiving (preparing the meals) and ending the second week in January with the last of the leftovers. I use to laugh when I would hear the report how the “average” person would gain 6 to 9 pounds over the holiday season, Ha! Once again, I did not fall into the averages. My weight gain over this seven-week season would be more like 50 pounds, yes fifty pounds. Then the depression and anger with myself would give me the excuse to beat myself up and say “what the heck” and the 50 would turn into 100 pounds. They are just numbers, for me it is 50 and 100 for you it can be 25 and 40 or 15 to 30, the numbers are not the issue, it is the behavior and attitude!
I cannot afford a backslide. I cannot let my guard down. My gift to myself this holiday season is to stay healthy. I must stay focused on the great feeling of being able to move better and participate in life better than I have in the past. It cannot be all about food. Yes, reality is that there are favorite seasonal, traditional dishes that are made during the season. Well I do not have to eat all of them and I do not have to eat it all. A taste if anything will have to be enough! I am a realist and in the past (1989-90) I starved myself for the holidays like some kind of hero. Whom did I fool? What was I proving?
I am a human being and I will want to have a taste of something, right now to be honest I do not. There is nothing I want to have and part of my disease is to have this great control and have nothing during the holidays, but why? When the time comes, I will do my best to plan, choose, and eat sensible.
I want this to be a joyous holiday for me. I have so much to be thankful for and so many things to look forward to. Life is so great, the world is a beautiful place, and I want to be a player. It is much more fun playing than just sitting on the sidelines and being a spectator. Relaxing, making the right choices and loving myself will allow me to continue to be a player and play even better next year!
Have a great day and remember "you are worth it"!
with Love