Gobble, gobble, can you believe it Thanksgiving is here! Speaking of “gobble”, this is not the time for so many of us to get gobbled up in the “curtain” of the “holidays”. I say the “curtain of the holidays”, because over the next seven weeks, those of us who really suffer from this disease can hide behind the “curtain of the holidays” and “eat” just like everyone else is doing! Oh sure, no one will notice us eating, because everyone is doing it, picking and chewing, and chewing, and chomping. All the food, spread out all over the place, plenty of opportunities for us to do all kinds of damage to ourselves.
This presents a couple of problems. First is that statistics say the average American will gain 14 to 20 pounds over the next 7 weeks…..Hello, Average!
When have most of us been average when it comes to eating? When they say 14 to 20 that means that some will gain 2 pounds and maybe some will even lose 3 pounds (Ha!). Then on the other hand, some of us could actually gain 40 or 60 pounds over the next seven weeks.
My problem is, especially if I do not keep myself in “check”, If I do not “Keep It Simple for Today”, my problem could and has been at times in the past that …
I begin eating the night before Thanksgiving (when we are doing the preparing) and do not finish until three days after the “Super Bowl” which is in late January early February. I can, and have eaten as if it is holiday every single one of those Seventy days.
This is why we all need to focus.
Thanksgiving is a day to surely be thankful and not for the poor Turkey that gave its life for us. We need to be “thankful for the chance to be able to be thankful”.
We need to look around and see the real things that we have to be thankful for.
Spend a moment (at least) during that day to reflect on the things you have to be thankful for. It is not about the food.
You have eaten it all before!
If you do right by yourself this year, you will live for another, to taste it all again.
Look, the reality is you are going to eat more than 1600 calories probably that day….okay!
That is one day! Not every day, not the next seven weeks! Besides it, does it really have to be 16,000 calories?
You can have a small piece of pie, a taste, if you need to have it…
Then that is it! The holiday does not continue until and through Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Years and Ground Hog Day.
No, there are breaks in between those days.
You do not have to celebrate every social event at office parties, house parties, family gatherings, and all of them with a mouthful of food.
Swallow a little and talk. Socialize, it is fun.
The Holidays can and should be a time to spend and enjoy with your friends, family and loved ones. Time spent, without food making you feel either sick, guilty or both!!
Whatever you do, do not say those horrible dreadful “Loser” words…..
”Ah, I’ll make a New Years Resolution and I will start my diet January 2nd”!!!!!!!
NO!!!!!!!!!!
It is only November, December, it is today!
Do it now! You are now!
You are alive …now!! You count…now!!
You can do it ….Now!
So gobble, gobble, let’s finish ’09 ….“In Line”!
“In Line for a great 2010”.
A 2010 where there will be no end of “You taking care of You”.
To all my friends and buddies and to all my “brothers and sisters” in battle ….
I wish to you a very happy, healthy, thankful holiday season and I am thankful we get this chance to share together…..
Eat smart, Think well, do not hate, be less angered, and smile when in neutral …..
All my love
Mike
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The Stork Arrives
It is 11:03AM on Thursday, October 20th 1977 and the doctor (actually, it was a nurse) tells me that I have a son!! A little boy weighing it at 11 pounds 4 ounces a bouncing baby boy, a healthy little “Butterball”. Imagine I was a father and now the task of becoming a “Daddy” began.
Oh, it is not easy for any parent. Raising a child, being responsible for their safety, well-being, happiness, future, their every need is not an easy thing. Some people unfortunately think “flim-flam-bam and thank you mam they are parents and the rest is easy….it is not!
I only realized the struggle, worry and concern my parents went through, only when I became a father myself.
I always say, just because you are a parent that does not make you perfect! That when you become a parent, there are no, instructions that come along with that tiny little miracle of life, that is now yours.
It is like being thrown into the 100 foot water (never knowing if you can swim or not) and being told, “Swim”!
Yet I for one thing I am the luckiest man in the world! Seriously! Many of these blogs have been about my struggles or those of others but let us face it life has its REWARDS!
In addition, to being a father and I believe I also can call myself a “Daddy” for Thirty-Two years there are many “REWARD”!
I have been blessed with a child (and now a Man) who has been respectful to his family, loved his family, never ever embarrassed himself or his family. He works hard for his wife and children, he is true to them (and better be) and loves them and adores them very much.
Is he perfect? In my eyes as a dad, ….Yes! Could he do or have done some things differently? Ha! Who could not do some things differently in thirty-two years if given the chance? It is certainly easy for me or anyone from the cheap seats to sit and be a judge….but I will not!
I too could have done things differently and so could have you, I am sure!
The thing is I have gotten to see him grow up! With all that comes from that.
All the cheers, jeers, and tears! The awards (and there were many), the parties, graduations (I might not have attended them all but I have been around for them all), and “the first”! First tooth, then the first tooth to fall out, first job, first girlfriend, first (and only) wife, first child, (now second child) many first.
Yes, life has its REWARDS and one of mine (a biggy) was certainly the day the Stork arrived in our family.
I feel good today! I feel great today! I am proud to be a father and more proud to be the Dad of Michael Hebranko III born 1977.
I am a lucky person to be here to see all this and to be able to share it with my loved ones and my friends.
I share this part of my life with you and I ask you to take a moment to reflect on even just one “REWARD” life has had for you……..We all have them……….
In this world today of havoc, finances a mock, news is crazy, wars, innocent people dying, people doing crazy things just to be on TV ….sometimes it is important amidst all this havoc to search and reflect on the good things …..
On the REWARDS…it helps us to appreciate our lives ourselves..
It may bring a smile to us…
I know, to this very day not matter how I feel, no matter what kind of mood I am in, when I see my Son (even if it is for a second, until we argue about something) my heart brightens up, my blood flows better, my insides smile!
There are certain things that I am proudest of in my life one being my marriage and the love and relationship it has produced between myself and my bride and from that comes the other most proudest things in my life….my son...and now his family, his children, my grandchildren…
I have other things that I am proud of most… some are self accomplishment and survival and most are relationships with family and friends.
Life’s REWARDS they are there for the enjoyment, the reflection, the inner peace and comfort. Use them, allow yourself to appreciate them and acknowledge your part in your life’s REWARDS!
Enjoy today and all the days….
Love
Mike
Oh, it is not easy for any parent. Raising a child, being responsible for their safety, well-being, happiness, future, their every need is not an easy thing. Some people unfortunately think “flim-flam-bam and thank you mam they are parents and the rest is easy….it is not!
I only realized the struggle, worry and concern my parents went through, only when I became a father myself.
I always say, just because you are a parent that does not make you perfect! That when you become a parent, there are no, instructions that come along with that tiny little miracle of life, that is now yours.
It is like being thrown into the 100 foot water (never knowing if you can swim or not) and being told, “Swim”!
Yet I for one thing I am the luckiest man in the world! Seriously! Many of these blogs have been about my struggles or those of others but let us face it life has its REWARDS!
In addition, to being a father and I believe I also can call myself a “Daddy” for Thirty-Two years there are many “REWARD”!
I have been blessed with a child (and now a Man) who has been respectful to his family, loved his family, never ever embarrassed himself or his family. He works hard for his wife and children, he is true to them (and better be) and loves them and adores them very much.
Is he perfect? In my eyes as a dad, ….Yes! Could he do or have done some things differently? Ha! Who could not do some things differently in thirty-two years if given the chance? It is certainly easy for me or anyone from the cheap seats to sit and be a judge….but I will not!
I too could have done things differently and so could have you, I am sure!
The thing is I have gotten to see him grow up! With all that comes from that.
All the cheers, jeers, and tears! The awards (and there were many), the parties, graduations (I might not have attended them all but I have been around for them all), and “the first”! First tooth, then the first tooth to fall out, first job, first girlfriend, first (and only) wife, first child, (now second child) many first.
Yes, life has its REWARDS and one of mine (a biggy) was certainly the day the Stork arrived in our family.
I feel good today! I feel great today! I am proud to be a father and more proud to be the Dad of Michael Hebranko III born 1977.
I am a lucky person to be here to see all this and to be able to share it with my loved ones and my friends.
I share this part of my life with you and I ask you to take a moment to reflect on even just one “REWARD” life has had for you……..We all have them……….
In this world today of havoc, finances a mock, news is crazy, wars, innocent people dying, people doing crazy things just to be on TV ….sometimes it is important amidst all this havoc to search and reflect on the good things …..
On the REWARDS…it helps us to appreciate our lives ourselves..
It may bring a smile to us…
I know, to this very day not matter how I feel, no matter what kind of mood I am in, when I see my Son (even if it is for a second, until we argue about something) my heart brightens up, my blood flows better, my insides smile!
There are certain things that I am proudest of in my life one being my marriage and the love and relationship it has produced between myself and my bride and from that comes the other most proudest things in my life….my son...and now his family, his children, my grandchildren…
I have other things that I am proud of most… some are self accomplishment and survival and most are relationships with family and friends.
Life’s REWARDS they are there for the enjoyment, the reflection, the inner peace and comfort. Use them, allow yourself to appreciate them and acknowledge your part in your life’s REWARDS!
Enjoy today and all the days….
Love
Mike
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Isolation
Those of us who suffer from this “Disease”, “Addiction”, “Affliction”. Need to understand the things that truly feed or fuel this “mis-function” within us.
Throughout the years of my journey and as I walk the road towards recovery I have learned many things about myself and what works and even more so what does not work.
With me, myself and through observations of close friends and associates, I have seen one common behavior pattern with in many of us, that is “Isolation”.
Isolation, we tend to withdraw first in our heads then in our lives.
For example: In so many interviews that I have done, it will not take a minute for some one to ask my poor wife, “How can you watch him eat? On the other hand, “Why don’t you stop him”?
Well here is some news for the world…97% of all the wrong kind of eating, I have done, I have done alone, on the sneak, in private. I have never needed anyone to help me to get my “drug of choice” ---“FOOD”! I have put those pounds on in private…for the world to see in public!!
So hiding and sneak eating is one of our problems and one that needs to be addressed if we are going to make any improvements in our life!
Another major “Isolation” problem is that we will withdraw, internally. We will cut people out! Stop communicating! Stop talking to loved ones. Whether we live with them, or if we live alone, we will stop calling or avoid calling friends and family. Just so that we do have to face the reality of that dreaded question …“How are you doing?”
We hear that question and if we are not doing well with our food, we will hear… “How are you doing, now that you are not dieting and eating out of control and gaining all that weight and being a complete failure…etc”!
Even though that poor person never said anything like that but that is what we might hear because often those are the tapes we are playing in our own head! That is our we are beating ourselves up already!
Isolation feeds our ability to make our self wrong, to support our terrible feelings of failure! Isolation will do that.
Then the finally kind of “Isolation” is the physical kind.
That is where you will avoid going out, avoid going to family functions, meeting with friends, going shopping, or just going to a movie. You are ashamed, you are tired, you are heavier, etc. etc.!
IF YOU WANT TO WIN THIS BATTLE, IT IS MORE THAN JUST MAKING A SALAD!
If you want to win the battle it is more than just making a salad, you need to make changes! You need to acknowledge you want to withdraw from everything and say, “Okay, I feel this way but I am still going to be a player, even though I do not want to play”!
Isolation means just you and your disease and guess what????? That disease knows how to push your buttons and for the most part …will win over you.
Do not let it win over you any more!
Just recognize that you are trying to Isolate and that is part of your problem.
Yet still get up tomorrow and make that phone call, go out to visit your friend, go to the neighborhood café and socialize, go to the family function…no matter what your weight is today! That number can change either way tomorrow, depending on what you do right…Today!
You are a human being who deserves every break in life! You deserve the chance to enjoy life, to smile. You have paid your dues now you can enjoy a little.
Give yourself permission to smile, laugh, and have a good time. Okay life may be a little “Heavy”. You know what? It could be worse…you know that, just turn on the News.
So remember do not Isolate, it does not help…at all.
Open up those doors, open up your heart, and get out of your head.
Look for some one who loves you and share with them. Play with them. Laugh with them.
Laughter, good medicine…and it is free!
My dear friends, we are in a war to survive but one where there are many battles to be won.
We learn along the way, we learn from each other… I am sharing with you, my brothers and a sister in battle…that Isolation is “Not a good thing”!
Do not be alone! You do not have to be!
You have me, I have you, we have each other!
You have to make it work ……..Go fight for what you deserve!
Have a great day and Never Give UP!
Love
Mike
Throughout the years of my journey and as I walk the road towards recovery I have learned many things about myself and what works and even more so what does not work.
With me, myself and through observations of close friends and associates, I have seen one common behavior pattern with in many of us, that is “Isolation”.
Isolation, we tend to withdraw first in our heads then in our lives.
For example: In so many interviews that I have done, it will not take a minute for some one to ask my poor wife, “How can you watch him eat? On the other hand, “Why don’t you stop him”?
Well here is some news for the world…97% of all the wrong kind of eating, I have done, I have done alone, on the sneak, in private. I have never needed anyone to help me to get my “drug of choice” ---“FOOD”! I have put those pounds on in private…for the world to see in public!!
So hiding and sneak eating is one of our problems and one that needs to be addressed if we are going to make any improvements in our life!
Another major “Isolation” problem is that we will withdraw, internally. We will cut people out! Stop communicating! Stop talking to loved ones. Whether we live with them, or if we live alone, we will stop calling or avoid calling friends and family. Just so that we do have to face the reality of that dreaded question …“How are you doing?”
We hear that question and if we are not doing well with our food, we will hear… “How are you doing, now that you are not dieting and eating out of control and gaining all that weight and being a complete failure…etc”!
Even though that poor person never said anything like that but that is what we might hear because often those are the tapes we are playing in our own head! That is our we are beating ourselves up already!
Isolation feeds our ability to make our self wrong, to support our terrible feelings of failure! Isolation will do that.
Then the finally kind of “Isolation” is the physical kind.
That is where you will avoid going out, avoid going to family functions, meeting with friends, going shopping, or just going to a movie. You are ashamed, you are tired, you are heavier, etc. etc.!
IF YOU WANT TO WIN THIS BATTLE, IT IS MORE THAN JUST MAKING A SALAD!
If you want to win the battle it is more than just making a salad, you need to make changes! You need to acknowledge you want to withdraw from everything and say, “Okay, I feel this way but I am still going to be a player, even though I do not want to play”!
Isolation means just you and your disease and guess what????? That disease knows how to push your buttons and for the most part …will win over you.
Do not let it win over you any more!
Just recognize that you are trying to Isolate and that is part of your problem.
Yet still get up tomorrow and make that phone call, go out to visit your friend, go to the neighborhood café and socialize, go to the family function…no matter what your weight is today! That number can change either way tomorrow, depending on what you do right…Today!
You are a human being who deserves every break in life! You deserve the chance to enjoy life, to smile. You have paid your dues now you can enjoy a little.
Give yourself permission to smile, laugh, and have a good time. Okay life may be a little “Heavy”. You know what? It could be worse…you know that, just turn on the News.
So remember do not Isolate, it does not help…at all.
Open up those doors, open up your heart, and get out of your head.
Look for some one who loves you and share with them. Play with them. Laugh with them.
Laughter, good medicine…and it is free!
My dear friends, we are in a war to survive but one where there are many battles to be won.
We learn along the way, we learn from each other… I am sharing with you, my brothers and a sister in battle…that Isolation is “Not a good thing”!
Do not be alone! You do not have to be!
You have me, I have you, we have each other!
You have to make it work ……..Go fight for what you deserve!
Have a great day and Never Give UP!
Love
Mike
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Cheating
The dictionary defines cheating as follows: to defraud; swindle; to deceive; to elude; to violate rules or regulations; a person who acts dishonestly.
Wow, after all that we are then suppose to feel good about ourselves and get back on track and do the things that we need to do to live a healthier and fuller life.
Think about it? Here we are doing are best, trying are hardest, whether it is to eat right, stay sober, be positive or just live a healthier life style and then it happens! A bad moment, a bad choice, a bad day, whatever the reasons may be, you may be aware of the reason or you may not, it just happens!
You “Cheat”, then you come to your senses and cannot help but look at what has happened, what you have done and you think to yourself...”I cheated”!
Then the tapes begin to play in your head. Then by definition you are a fraud, swindler, you violate the rules, you are dishonest! You cannot help but hear these tapes in your head. You have been raised your whole life, to know that cheaters are low lives.
Now after that and a host of other guilty feelings, you are suppose to go forward, feel good about yourself, get back “on the wagon” and eat healthy and do healthy things for our self.
Can it be done? It can! Is it easy? No! Must it happen? You bet!
Who else but “you” is going to do it? If not now, when? Are you going to let another day go by? Do more damage to your body, your mind, your heart?
You cannot wait for someone else to make you feel good (it might happen, but there are no guarantees). There is an expression that goes “don’t wait for some one to tell you to wash your face…because then you just might look better than them.”
That is a harsh statement and does not play true in all cases but the point is we cannot wait for others to make us feel good about ourselves.
We have to dig deep inside and find the strength, realize the goodness, the worth inside of our self and begin once again.
It can be difficult, especially when you might have people around that knock you every chance they get, that may have lost faith in you, or are just fed up with you and all the years of you have struggled already.
These are the times when you need to try your hardest.
When that hill becomes a mountain, yet either way, it still needs to be climbed, one more time. You and you alone have to find the strength to take those first steps.
You have to tap into that inner worth, the inner need to succeed, the desire to survive, you have to know that you are worth it!
Life at times is not easy and often the bounce back from “nowhere” seems impossible, but who else but you deserves to be happy.
Do not act has if you might not deserve to be happy, you do!
You are a beautiful creation and deserve to live your life to its fullest.
Therefore, you, I and the rest of us have to fight!
Fight for our well-being, fight no matter what our demons are, no matter how dark they may be. We have to do what we need to do to make it!
If we need help and cannot find it here then we have to look for it there.
We need to do, what we need to do! As hard as it may seem, as alone as we may feel, we need to be able to look inside ourselves first!
We have power! We are strong! We made it this far and we can make it to the top of that mountain.
My friends who are in struggles of all kinds…I say this to you. Hang in there!
Be a little easy on yourself; give a little hug to yourself.
Never quit, never give up!
You are special….very special and you are worth it!
Love
Your Brother in Battle
Mike
Wow, after all that we are then suppose to feel good about ourselves and get back on track and do the things that we need to do to live a healthier and fuller life.
Think about it? Here we are doing are best, trying are hardest, whether it is to eat right, stay sober, be positive or just live a healthier life style and then it happens! A bad moment, a bad choice, a bad day, whatever the reasons may be, you may be aware of the reason or you may not, it just happens!
You “Cheat”, then you come to your senses and cannot help but look at what has happened, what you have done and you think to yourself...”I cheated”!
Then the tapes begin to play in your head. Then by definition you are a fraud, swindler, you violate the rules, you are dishonest! You cannot help but hear these tapes in your head. You have been raised your whole life, to know that cheaters are low lives.
Now after that and a host of other guilty feelings, you are suppose to go forward, feel good about yourself, get back “on the wagon” and eat healthy and do healthy things for our self.
Can it be done? It can! Is it easy? No! Must it happen? You bet!
Who else but “you” is going to do it? If not now, when? Are you going to let another day go by? Do more damage to your body, your mind, your heart?
You cannot wait for someone else to make you feel good (it might happen, but there are no guarantees). There is an expression that goes “don’t wait for some one to tell you to wash your face…because then you just might look better than them.”
That is a harsh statement and does not play true in all cases but the point is we cannot wait for others to make us feel good about ourselves.
We have to dig deep inside and find the strength, realize the goodness, the worth inside of our self and begin once again.
It can be difficult, especially when you might have people around that knock you every chance they get, that may have lost faith in you, or are just fed up with you and all the years of you have struggled already.
These are the times when you need to try your hardest.
When that hill becomes a mountain, yet either way, it still needs to be climbed, one more time. You and you alone have to find the strength to take those first steps.
You have to tap into that inner worth, the inner need to succeed, the desire to survive, you have to know that you are worth it!
Life at times is not easy and often the bounce back from “nowhere” seems impossible, but who else but you deserves to be happy.
Do not act has if you might not deserve to be happy, you do!
You are a beautiful creation and deserve to live your life to its fullest.
Therefore, you, I and the rest of us have to fight!
Fight for our well-being, fight no matter what our demons are, no matter how dark they may be. We have to do what we need to do to make it!
If we need help and cannot find it here then we have to look for it there.
We need to do, what we need to do! As hard as it may seem, as alone as we may feel, we need to be able to look inside ourselves first!
We have power! We are strong! We made it this far and we can make it to the top of that mountain.
My friends who are in struggles of all kinds…I say this to you. Hang in there!
Be a little easy on yourself; give a little hug to yourself.
Never quit, never give up!
You are special….very special and you are worth it!
Love
Your Brother in Battle
Mike
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Do you need help --To put yourself down?
I have found through my journey that when I am having my worst times. Those days when I would be eating out of control. When I would be starting every day with the words, “Today is going to be the day I do good” and by sometime soon into that day I will be re-negotiated with myself and committing to, “tomorrow I will start over again”!
Each new day making another new deal and truly wanting to believe it will happen and why not? Do I really need to gain any more weight? Do I really want to jeopardize my health and independence? Do I want to die? No, No, No and definitely No! Yet my clothes get tighter, my pain gets deeper, my legs get weaker and my breath gets shorter. I know then that I am in trouble. I have known along the way that I was in trouble.
I am having enough of a hard time with the battle, just to put two healthy meals together, do I really need any ones help, making me feel worse than I already do, about myself? Do I need a family member, a boss, a colleague, a producer, doctor, stranger or friend coming up to me and asking me or “telling” me that I have gained weight? DUH! I know all about it and I thank you for making (helping) me to feel even better about myself, than I do already! DO WE REALLY NEED THAT KIND OF HELP??
You know I have this theory and I will try to explain it in a short version (because some day it might be in a book form, I hope). Her goes, our disease (our struggle, battle, fight, problem, habit, call it whatever makes you feel comfortable), our disease feeds off negative energy. Whether it may be caused from depression, pressure, nerves, loneliness, anxiety, the past, the present, or the fears of the future, any kind of negative energy, both conscience or unconscious, and we will eat over it.
Each time we eat out of control, it is like those “old locomotives”, we feed the engine with more negative logs (reasons) to keep the “engine” (our) mouth going. We eat, we react to eating and then we eat more.
Then all we need is some one to really mean well (and sometimes not mean well) and try to tell us we have gained weight and maybe they can help!
BOOM!
More logs for that engine and then “FULL SPEED AHEAD”, and eating FRENZY!
I know about intervention and I agree that in the right way and done at the right time with the right set of circumstances it can be helpful but it is a delicate problem and needs delicate handling. The biggest intervention has to come first from within.
We know the people in our lives who are out there who will help us! HOWEVER, we have to make those moves toward them; we have to want to make those moves.
In order to want to help ourselves, and to help ourselves we must be in a POSITIVE state of mind, a positive place!
I f you are angry with yourself, if you hate yourself, then how can you be positive about you???
How can you go through the struggle ahead of you that day, if you do not like the person you are fighting for?
You need to support a positive atmosphere around you, within your life as much as possible.
How? Well, one way is to think about this.
You can hate the act (of overeating) but do not hate the actor.
You can possibly not be thrilled with the physical package when you look in a mirror but love the ingredients.
Do that first my friends and then dealing with the others in your life who say hurtful things will be a little easier. If you think about this…
In the scheme of things, the people who are upsetting you do not really matter! They are not there when you have to make the right choices. They are not with your 24/7 when you have to face your inner most self. Who are these people you give so much power too?
They may people who threaten to fire you, or not be your friend, maybe divorce you or never speak with you again, if, you do not lose weight.
Yet do they have the power to extend your life? Can they give you five or ten more years of living? I doubt it but guess what? You have that power!
You are the one that has to like yourself, and like yourself enough to where no matter what hits you, that it will not matter.
You are going to do well with your next choice!
Therefore the original question was “Do you need help to put yourself down?”
What is the answer? You should know the answer.
The answer is, “No one puts you down! You give no one that power!”
Take the power away from those who hurt you and then …
You have won one more battle!
Each battle we win helps with our personal WAR!
Take back the POWER, take back the CONTROL
Good luck my so” worth while”, “Brother and Sister in Battle”
Good luck my friend
Never give up and so you will never fail!
Love
Mike
Each new day making another new deal and truly wanting to believe it will happen and why not? Do I really need to gain any more weight? Do I really want to jeopardize my health and independence? Do I want to die? No, No, No and definitely No! Yet my clothes get tighter, my pain gets deeper, my legs get weaker and my breath gets shorter. I know then that I am in trouble. I have known along the way that I was in trouble.
I am having enough of a hard time with the battle, just to put two healthy meals together, do I really need any ones help, making me feel worse than I already do, about myself? Do I need a family member, a boss, a colleague, a producer, doctor, stranger or friend coming up to me and asking me or “telling” me that I have gained weight? DUH! I know all about it and I thank you for making (helping) me to feel even better about myself, than I do already! DO WE REALLY NEED THAT KIND OF HELP??
You know I have this theory and I will try to explain it in a short version (because some day it might be in a book form, I hope). Her goes, our disease (our struggle, battle, fight, problem, habit, call it whatever makes you feel comfortable), our disease feeds off negative energy. Whether it may be caused from depression, pressure, nerves, loneliness, anxiety, the past, the present, or the fears of the future, any kind of negative energy, both conscience or unconscious, and we will eat over it.
Each time we eat out of control, it is like those “old locomotives”, we feed the engine with more negative logs (reasons) to keep the “engine” (our) mouth going. We eat, we react to eating and then we eat more.
Then all we need is some one to really mean well (and sometimes not mean well) and try to tell us we have gained weight and maybe they can help!
BOOM!
More logs for that engine and then “FULL SPEED AHEAD”, and eating FRENZY!
I know about intervention and I agree that in the right way and done at the right time with the right set of circumstances it can be helpful but it is a delicate problem and needs delicate handling. The biggest intervention has to come first from within.
We know the people in our lives who are out there who will help us! HOWEVER, we have to make those moves toward them; we have to want to make those moves.
In order to want to help ourselves, and to help ourselves we must be in a POSITIVE state of mind, a positive place!
I f you are angry with yourself, if you hate yourself, then how can you be positive about you???
How can you go through the struggle ahead of you that day, if you do not like the person you are fighting for?
You need to support a positive atmosphere around you, within your life as much as possible.
How? Well, one way is to think about this.
You can hate the act (of overeating) but do not hate the actor.
You can possibly not be thrilled with the physical package when you look in a mirror but love the ingredients.
Do that first my friends and then dealing with the others in your life who say hurtful things will be a little easier. If you think about this…
In the scheme of things, the people who are upsetting you do not really matter! They are not there when you have to make the right choices. They are not with your 24/7 when you have to face your inner most self. Who are these people you give so much power too?
They may people who threaten to fire you, or not be your friend, maybe divorce you or never speak with you again, if, you do not lose weight.
Yet do they have the power to extend your life? Can they give you five or ten more years of living? I doubt it but guess what? You have that power!
You are the one that has to like yourself, and like yourself enough to where no matter what hits you, that it will not matter.
You are going to do well with your next choice!
Therefore the original question was “Do you need help to put yourself down?”
What is the answer? You should know the answer.
The answer is, “No one puts you down! You give no one that power!”
Take the power away from those who hurt you and then …
You have won one more battle!
Each battle we win helps with our personal WAR!
Take back the POWER, take back the CONTROL
Good luck my so” worth while”, “Brother and Sister in Battle”
Good luck my friend
Never give up and so you will never fail!
Love
Mike
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Depression
Have you ever been in a room full of people and felt alone? Have you ever felt as if you wanted to, just scream but for no particular reason. Besides, why bother, who would care or even hear you anyway? Does what seems to be the silliest little reason put you into tears? Does your bed or your living room ever seem like it is the easiest or safest place to deal with “today”?
Sound familiar? You may be depressed! I looked up in the dictionary and among many definitions on “depression”; I would like to share these few:
A depressed or sunken place- sadness; gloom; dejection. A condition of general emotion dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason
Suffering from depression or being depressed… in the past has been an embarrassment and almost like having some terrible social disease.
Times have changed and the time is now and is time to “Get over that”!
Depression is not something to be ashamed of nor is it something to be ignored and “shoved under the carpet”, with hopes it will go away on its own Depression is something that needs to be fought, on every level with everything you got!
This is a time in history, when we as human beings acknowledge whatever is not working and then do what is needed to be done and make it all work for the better!
There is nothing wrong with depression or being depressed except “Staying Depressed”!
I have dealt with depression on many levels throughout my battle and during my re-discovery.
All I do know is, depression is not pretty. It could be very painful, draining and at times destructive. Destructive meaning: non-productive; harmful to relationships; hurtful to oneself; and on many different levels.
In my particular case, I would often find myself asking…
“Do I overeat because I am depressed or “Am I depressed because I overeat”?
This is the “million dollar” question but either way the results of the overeating in the past have not been good for me.
That is why I and I hope anyone who reads this must be willing to take the “Bull by the horns”.
Recognize the enemy! Notice the signs and if you are depressed, then do whatever it may take to get yourself back on track.
I am no professional nor do I pretend to be one but I am a person who knows about depression. I have seen it in its ugliest states.
Besides, I personally like millions of human beings fight to stay positive. Sometimes you may be feeling a little blue and just a new hair do may be the “Pick you up” that you might need. Maybe a phone call to an old friend and a few laughs is just “What the doctor has ordered”.
Sometimes it may take a little more than just that. It may take some professional help…and why not? Are you not worth it? I ask you, is not your life working well, worth anything and everything? If you had a bad cold that you could not “shake” with some over-the-counter medication, you would look to a professional.
So, I ask, why not in this case too?
I know I would do anything, rather than be confined to a bed again for three years or homebound for fifteen years. If it means me admitting, I might need a little extra help and that I am not the one who can fix everything in the world and in my life. That I might need some help. Than let it be!
Depression is an ugly thing! Yet with work, it can be made better. Maybe it will not be cured forever, but for now, you do what you have to. Later, then you do what needs to be done, then too!
As long as you remember at all times, your life is meant to be lived, to the fullest and at the highest quality possible. You must remember that you do whatever needs to be done to make you smile inside your heart. To have peace, within your being.
You must make the effort, to get up out of that bed, if you physically can (so many of our friends physically cannot), get up out of that chair; open up that door or window, take a deep breathe and smile. Smile, then make some good healthy choices today and always remember these four simple but very important words….say them to yourself daily and as often as necessary during the day. Repeat them now…with meaning
I AM WORTH IT! One more time I AM WORTH IT!
Have a great day and do whatever you need to do to make this day, your day!
Love
Mike
Sound familiar? You may be depressed! I looked up in the dictionary and among many definitions on “depression”; I would like to share these few:
A depressed or sunken place- sadness; gloom; dejection. A condition of general emotion dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason
Suffering from depression or being depressed… in the past has been an embarrassment and almost like having some terrible social disease.
Times have changed and the time is now and is time to “Get over that”!
Depression is not something to be ashamed of nor is it something to be ignored and “shoved under the carpet”, with hopes it will go away on its own Depression is something that needs to be fought, on every level with everything you got!
This is a time in history, when we as human beings acknowledge whatever is not working and then do what is needed to be done and make it all work for the better!
There is nothing wrong with depression or being depressed except “Staying Depressed”!
I have dealt with depression on many levels throughout my battle and during my re-discovery.
All I do know is, depression is not pretty. It could be very painful, draining and at times destructive. Destructive meaning: non-productive; harmful to relationships; hurtful to oneself; and on many different levels.
In my particular case, I would often find myself asking…
“Do I overeat because I am depressed or “Am I depressed because I overeat”?
This is the “million dollar” question but either way the results of the overeating in the past have not been good for me.
That is why I and I hope anyone who reads this must be willing to take the “Bull by the horns”.
Recognize the enemy! Notice the signs and if you are depressed, then do whatever it may take to get yourself back on track.
I am no professional nor do I pretend to be one but I am a person who knows about depression. I have seen it in its ugliest states.
Besides, I personally like millions of human beings fight to stay positive. Sometimes you may be feeling a little blue and just a new hair do may be the “Pick you up” that you might need. Maybe a phone call to an old friend and a few laughs is just “What the doctor has ordered”.
Sometimes it may take a little more than just that. It may take some professional help…and why not? Are you not worth it? I ask you, is not your life working well, worth anything and everything? If you had a bad cold that you could not “shake” with some over-the-counter medication, you would look to a professional.
So, I ask, why not in this case too?
I know I would do anything, rather than be confined to a bed again for three years or homebound for fifteen years. If it means me admitting, I might need a little extra help and that I am not the one who can fix everything in the world and in my life. That I might need some help. Than let it be!
Depression is an ugly thing! Yet with work, it can be made better. Maybe it will not be cured forever, but for now, you do what you have to. Later, then you do what needs to be done, then too!
As long as you remember at all times, your life is meant to be lived, to the fullest and at the highest quality possible. You must remember that you do whatever needs to be done to make you smile inside your heart. To have peace, within your being.
You must make the effort, to get up out of that bed, if you physically can (so many of our friends physically cannot), get up out of that chair; open up that door or window, take a deep breathe and smile. Smile, then make some good healthy choices today and always remember these four simple but very important words….say them to yourself daily and as often as necessary during the day. Repeat them now…with meaning
I AM WORTH IT! One more time I AM WORTH IT!
Have a great day and do whatever you need to do to make this day, your day!
Love
Mike
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The Miracle of Life
On June 9th, of this year I was honored, proud, and thrilled to be at the hospital, when my daughter-in-law and my son become new parents of a healthy baby boy. In the waiting room along with the mom’s family, was my wife, my 83-year-old mother-in-law and my three-year-old grandson. Four glorious generations, in a waiting room, just waiting for the surprise announcement of whether their was a new Hebranko boy or girl. Then my son came through the elevator doors and the wait was over. My grandson had his little brother, that he was so anxiously waiting for, a new play pal.
Right after the initial emotional outburst from all and my own personal pride, I was feeling for my son and his now family of four. I could not help to think about how beautiful life is truly. A miracle had just happened within that building and my son and daughter-in-law (especially) were part of it. Within minutes, we were able to look through this glass window and I saw him. My grandson, my second grandson. I never had a two. I was an only child, I had an only child and for the past three plus years, I was blessed with one grandchild. Now I had two.
I have lived to see this happen. I could not help think, as I looked at this beautiful little boy how great it was this time, to be a part of this moment. Sadly, at the birth of his brother, I could not be at the hospital. Therefore, I waited at home for a phone call from his dad. That when it did come through, he said to me, “Da, I have a son”!
I also could not help remember how many of my son’s school plays I missed, his little league games that I could not attend. I even missed my own son’s high school graduation.
However, I did not miss this. I was there, live and part of it all. The last brand new baby I had seen born was this little person’s daddy 32 years ago. It was a big difference. Besides me being 32 years younger, his daddy was almost twice his size. My little grandson was a small guy, six pounds eleven ounces. His dad was eleven pounds four ounces. Almost half but just as beautiful and just as cute.
Life is a miracle. At one point I was holding my older grandson (imagine, my older grandson) and the both of us are looking at this newcomer to the world.
I want to wish my grandsons, their mom and dad only happiness and health in life. I hope they always see the glass as half full and look for that silver lining in those clouds….it is there.
Life is a miracle and if you are reading this blog, then you are part of this miracle. Each day we open our eyes and at the end of the day, lay our heads on our pillows, we were part of the “Miracle of Life”.
There were times in my life I did not see grandchild in my future and now I see me dancing at their grandchildren’s wedding.
All things are possible ……
Have a great day and keep smiling
Love,
Mike
Right after the initial emotional outburst from all and my own personal pride, I was feeling for my son and his now family of four. I could not help to think about how beautiful life is truly. A miracle had just happened within that building and my son and daughter-in-law (especially) were part of it. Within minutes, we were able to look through this glass window and I saw him. My grandson, my second grandson. I never had a two. I was an only child, I had an only child and for the past three plus years, I was blessed with one grandchild. Now I had two.
I have lived to see this happen. I could not help think, as I looked at this beautiful little boy how great it was this time, to be a part of this moment. Sadly, at the birth of his brother, I could not be at the hospital. Therefore, I waited at home for a phone call from his dad. That when it did come through, he said to me, “Da, I have a son”!
I also could not help remember how many of my son’s school plays I missed, his little league games that I could not attend. I even missed my own son’s high school graduation.
However, I did not miss this. I was there, live and part of it all. The last brand new baby I had seen born was this little person’s daddy 32 years ago. It was a big difference. Besides me being 32 years younger, his daddy was almost twice his size. My little grandson was a small guy, six pounds eleven ounces. His dad was eleven pounds four ounces. Almost half but just as beautiful and just as cute.
Life is a miracle. At one point I was holding my older grandson (imagine, my older grandson) and the both of us are looking at this newcomer to the world.
I want to wish my grandsons, their mom and dad only happiness and health in life. I hope they always see the glass as half full and look for that silver lining in those clouds….it is there.
Life is a miracle and if you are reading this blog, then you are part of this miracle. Each day we open our eyes and at the end of the day, lay our heads on our pillows, we were part of the “Miracle of Life”.
There were times in my life I did not see grandchild in my future and now I see me dancing at their grandchildren’s wedding.
All things are possible ……
Have a great day and keep smiling
Love,
Mike
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