Enough is enough! Since January, it seems like it has been one personal loss after another. They say you hear of “deaths” in three, well for me these past three months, it has been more like three times three. Just in the past three weeks alone, I have lost very close dear friends. Last week it was a friend of mine, who has been in my life for over thirty years. Then just yesterday, I and some of my dear friends, have lost a loved one. Someone affectionately know to us as the “Big Lug”. The world will be a much emptier place without our friend Al.
Loss is not easy for any of us to handle. I know speaking for myself, as an addict, I feel that the emptiness I feel, the great hole that is left deep down inside of me, the pain that my heart is screaming out with, knows only one temporary “pain reliever”. You know exactly what I am talking about! We try stopping the pains, these wounds with a “band-aide”. A band-aide called food! I ask you, does this simply gratification solve anything? Does it take away the pain, does it ease the loss, does it fill the emptiness, and does it bring back our “dead” loved ones?
No, it does not! I know that, and you know it and the world knows it. We need to be rational when it comes to times like this. We have to be rational! If we turn to food now, if I turn to food now, it solves nothing and creates an infinite number of other problems.
What else do we do? I do not have all the answers. What I do have is many experiences. I know what does not work. I know bingeing do not work.
Often talking with someone, sharing how you are feeling in the moment, might help. Writing a note to someone, maybe to yourself or even your friend or loved one that you have lost, can help. Blogging might be an outlet, and yes, even praying can be a blessing.
Sometimes I take a walk, (it may be a short one, but it is a walk). I might make a phone call to someone. Often that person I am talking to, may not know what I am even going through at that moment.
One thing I know for sure, is that the people I have lost recently in my life, very much supported my recovery. The last thing they would want for me, is to be part of my potential “backslide”.
My pain exists, my friends are gone, and the loved ones they leave behind hurt.
The earth is less full, their lack of presence will be realized, Al (“Big Lug”), Linda, David, Bill, Robert all gone too early in life, (some due to our “disease”).
Your physical beings will sure be missed but your memory and spirit will live forever in many of our hearts.
To my sweet friend Ro, who physically you are still with us (thank God) but you have seemed to leave us in memory (hopefully temporarily). I miss you dearly Ro and I am praying for your prompt return.
Painful? You bet! Since January, it has been one loss after another and many major battles have been fought within.
Life is often about battles and these are the days that our training and experience really have to kick in.
Easy? No. Impossible? No. Necessary? Absolutely!
We must stay focused, we must Keep It Simple Today, and we must “never give up” and always remember all things are possible … as long as we believe!
God bless my friends and loved ones here and there