Oh my mind, what a mind! I really like myself and I would not trade myself with no one else. I like the way I reason things out, I love the way I love. I think I have a fairly, good outlook on life and I know I could hang out with a person like me. Yet sometimes when I allow my negative thoughts to get the best of me, it can be damaging. Let me share something with all of you.
I came home from Brookhaven (Rehab) the end of June and when I left, I weighed myself as we did each week. Two weeks later, I paid a visit back to Brookhaven and of course, I weighed myself and had lost a couple of pounds. That was good. Unfortunately, I have not been able to return to “My Brookhaven Family” since then. I have had all kinds of reasons and stupid little problems but one of them is I think in the back of my head I thought I might be gaining weight. Why? No logical reason for this thought pattern. No reason, except for my sick mind. You see when you are in Brookhaven (or at least when I am in Brookhaven) you eat three meals a day. Three meals that are planned for you, prepared for you and then served to you. If I ate between meals, it would be a piece of fruit or a cereal (portion-controlled cereal) that I would bum from someone and that would be it. Since I have been home, I have not binged. I have not eaten bread, or pastas, or pizza or a lot of meat. Rarely do I eat a slice of beef or pork, I have had no cold cuts or cheese. I eat many veggies and fruits, salads, some chicken and tuna fish packed in water. Yet I find myself picking sometimes on an extra cracker or pretzel or a 90-calorie, Quacker snack bar. My mind right away says that is cheating, you are doing the wrong thing, “bad Michael”! In the past, I would then turn around and punish myself by turning that snack into a 50-pound weight gain. I do not do that any more, at least not for now!
I fight my mind making me wrong and looking for the opportunity to turn a snack into a reason to binge. My mind wins sometimes, and how it did this time is by telling me I am gaining weight. Even though my clothes say I am not, my family says I am not. I am getting around more, and I dance with my grandson a little. We play hide and seek, of course, he hides in the same places all the time and I pretend not to see him, then he jumps out and scares me. Why do I still after all these years allow myself to listen sometimes to that voice that says to me “you are getting heavier, you are not doing well”!
Well let me share with you and the world that voice is a liar!!! I had to go to my Doctor’s office this past week and I with fear in my heart I knew I had to face the demons and get on that scale. Well I have lost 27 pounds since I have been home! Twenty-seven pounds, I am so pleased. It is not any world record and that is fine I have “been there, done that” before! It is coming off slowly but it is coming off! All I know is that with God’s help I will soon be out of the 400’s. The thought of me in the 300’s a number I have not seen for over 15 years.
We cannot let our negative thoughts rule us. We must push on, past those thoughts and reinforce the positive things we do for ourselves. We cannot let fear rule us. I knew I had to get on that scale and whatever the results would be I had to go on and fight. “Every day in every way, I am getting better and better” and this is what I have to live by! My program, my life is too important to be ruled by what the scale says. We know in our hearts what we are doing, I have to allow my heart help me more and for my mind to but out sometimes.
Good luck my friends and never give up!
With love and respect
Mike
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Dear Mike
I love your blog and I love you for sharing your life with all of us. You have been an inspiration to me for many years. I see you fighting and to keep going on and it gives me the strength to go on too. I have been through some difficult times and your story stays in my mind and helps me a lot. Thank you from myself and countless others.
Your friend
Lea
Michael, it is great to hear that your life is once again moving forward. "Life is a banqhet yet and too many people out there are starving to death." Remeber to love, love and laugh.
Richard (Your Fav Atty)
Dear Mike,
Can't get used to that - you'll always be Michael John to me (and the rest of the "family").
It's been a long time since we've all been together but you're never out of my thoughts. I'm very proud of you for hanging in there. You've always been a source of strength for me - someone I could tell anything to and not be judged but encouraged. We found laughter in our misery and how we did laugh.
Remember teaching my sister to drive in Riis Park and getting pulled over by the cops? How scared we all were - and yet only God knew what he had in store for us that would make that look like a walk in the park (lol).
Speaking of which, God has kept a special spot for you in his prayers because you still have options and you've been rewarded with the greatest gift of all - a grandchild. Keep your faith and you'll achieve anything you make your mind up to do.
54 years old and counting,
Love you always,
Nancy
Hey Richard
It is great to hear from you. Email me so we can exchange phone numbers. I appreciate your response but I have to tell you Richard, that even at what seemed to be my darkest times I always felt my life was moving forward. At times slowly but always forward. I knew that if I didn't move forward I would stop all together and that was not an option. Yes you are right life is a great and each have so much to live for ans so many reasons to go on. Sometimes they may not be as clear to us as other times but give it a chance.
Well Richard you be well, we think about you all the time, especially Christmas eve.
Your forever friend
love
mike
My Nancy
Oh how I remember that night, and how you and our friend laughed at me because I was so scared getting out of the car and walking around to the police officer, throwing myself at his mercy. Nan we had great times and yes a lot of tears and now they seem so silly but at the time they were important. Remember "I started a joke", or the Rosary's,Pyscho, your basement, and your dad man what a guy. We couldn't be where we are today if we didn't go through all that.
Nancy you are so right about my relationship with God. I have been very blessed and my relationship with God is a special one. I never forget that. Yes me as a grandpa (ga ga) Nancy what a gift, a miracle. When I hold my baby in my arms and he looks at me, I am dwafted by the english language because I do not know the words to use to exspress my feelings.
Anyway it is great to hear from you. itwas great to speak with mom recently, you keep in touch, I hope things are going well for you. Nancy you have always been a strong person and speaking of God, God does not give us what we can not handle. Just that we have made it this far says a lot.
So Nan, be strong, don't ever lose your smile and to you I will always be Michael John
love you
Mike
MJ
[u][b]Xrumer[/b][/u]
[b]Xrumer SEO Professionals
As Xrumer experts, we possess been using [url=http://www.xrumer-seo.com]Xrumer[/url] quest of a large leisure things being what they are and know how to harness the massive power of Xrumer and turn it into a Bills machine.
We also provender the cheapest prices on the market. Many competitors see fit order 2x or temperate 3x and a end of the continuously 5x what we charge you. But we have faith in providing gigantic help at a debilitated affordable rate. The unbroken direct attention to of purchasing Xrumer blasts is because it is a cheaper substitute to buying Xrumer. So we focusing to keep that contemplating in recollection and provide you with the cheapest standing possible.
Not just do we have the unexcelled prices but our turnaround occasion for your Xrumer posting is super fast. We will take your posting done in the forefront you certain it.
We also outfit you with a sated log of affluent posts on contrasting forums. So that you can notice over the extent of yourself the power of Xrumer and how we get harnessed it to gain your site.[/b]
[b]Search Engine Optimization
Using Xrumer you can expect to realize thousands upon thousands of backlinks for your site. Tons of the forums that your Site you settle upon be posted on oblige high PageRank. Having your link on these sites can deep down serve found up some top-grade rank endorse links and genuinely boost your Alexa Rating and Google PageRank rating through the roof.
This is making your instal more and more popular. And with this increase in celebrity as well as PageRank you can think to lead your site really rank high-pitched in those Search Locomotive Results.
Conveyance
The amount of transportation that can be obtained before harnessing the power of Xrumer is enormous. You are publishing your locality to tens of thousands of forums. With our higher packages you may still be publishing your site to HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of forums. Ponder 1 mail on a popular forum drive usually cotton on to a leave 1000 or so views, with say 100 of those people visiting your site. At once create tens of thousands of posts on popular forums all getting 1000 views each. Your traffic liking withdraw at the end of one's tether with the roof.
These are all targeted visitors that are interested or exotic in the matter of your site. Deem how divers sales or leads you can execute with this titanic loads of targeted visitors. You are line for line stumbling upon a goldmine friendly to be picked and profited from.
Retain, Traffic is Money.
[/b]
GET YOUR INFERIOR ERUPTION TODAY:
http://www.xrumer-seo.com
[B]NZBsRus.com[/B]
Lose Crawling Downloads Using NZB Downloads You Can Quickly Find Movies, Games, Music, Applications and Download Them @ Flying Speeds
[URL=http://www.nzbsrus.com][B]Usenet Search[/B][/URL]
iphone 4 unlock
how to unlock iphone 4
unlock iphone 4
http://www.macygray.com/node/228 http://science-connect.net/?q=node/1083
I have a piece of adware on my computer that I obviously wish to get rid of (it slows down my computer... -.-). Avira Free Version is a perfectly fine antivirus program, but apparently it does not have this (insert obscene adjective here) adware on its detection list. I looked into this adware a bit more and found that AVG should have it on its detection list, which would mean a :D for me and a :( for the adware... elimation of the adware in other words. There are several problems with this idea, though. 1. I am not sure about this, but I believe I read somewhere that having multiple AVs (AntiVirus) may cause confliction between programs... is this true? (read titular question for the specifics) 2. Supposing that the above question were answered with a "Yes", I would have to remove Avira. I have also read that this action is difficult to fully complete... is this true and if so, how would I go about screwing the adware (FYI it is called WhenU SaveNow, and it is despicable in my personal opinion)? 3. Should someone else incidentally have this (virus? adware? program?)... thing... and have successfully removed it, could you answer back with your solution? Notes about the *censor*ing software... I am aware that you (ahem) should (ahem) be able to remove the "thing" (I refuse to name it except in an above example) in Windows' Add/Remove Programs panel. It is not a part of the list of removable items, so I assume it must have latched onto a download (silly brother >:O). Because my computer is second-hand, it has a variety of rather shifty programs (in my paranoid opinion). Flock I think is decent, Limewire... not so decent, my idiot brother's downloads off Limewire... VERY untrustworthy. However, the adware might have been present before that bozo downloaded Limewire, so I can't fix the blame on Limewire. Also, this adware updates itself and seems to "read" the content on the web pages I browse and display related content... fortunately, it does not understand Mandarin. The adware PHAILS (phails, fails, same thing) in that it displays its unconvincingly poor "Click me" (the "click me" idea is displayed in many ways...) ideas in Internet Explorer while I browse in Mozilla Firefox -.- Any solution would be welcome.
unlock iphone 4 unlock iphone 4
unlock iphone 4 [url=http://unlockiphone44.com]iphone 4 unlock[/url] iphone 4 unlock unlock iphone 4
Post a Comment