Those of us who suffer from this “Disease”, “Addiction”, “Affliction”. Need to understand the things that truly feed or fuel this “mis-function” within us.
Throughout the years of my journey and as I walk the road towards recovery I have learned many things about myself and what works and even more so what does not work.
With me, myself and through observations of close friends and associates, I have seen one common behavior pattern with in many of us, that is “Isolation”.
Isolation, we tend to withdraw first in our heads then in our lives.
For example: In so many interviews that I have done, it will not take a minute for some one to ask my poor wife, “How can you watch him eat? On the other hand, “Why don’t you stop him”?
Well here is some news for the world…97% of all the wrong kind of eating, I have done, I have done alone, on the sneak, in private. I have never needed anyone to help me to get my “drug of choice” ---“FOOD”! I have put those pounds on in private…for the world to see in public!!
So hiding and sneak eating is one of our problems and one that needs to be addressed if we are going to make any improvements in our life!
Another major “Isolation” problem is that we will withdraw, internally. We will cut people out! Stop communicating! Stop talking to loved ones. Whether we live with them, or if we live alone, we will stop calling or avoid calling friends and family. Just so that we do have to face the reality of that dreaded question …“How are you doing?”
We hear that question and if we are not doing well with our food, we will hear… “How are you doing, now that you are not dieting and eating out of control and gaining all that weight and being a complete failure…etc”!
Even though that poor person never said anything like that but that is what we might hear because often those are the tapes we are playing in our own head! That is our we are beating ourselves up already!
Isolation feeds our ability to make our self wrong, to support our terrible feelings of failure! Isolation will do that.
Then the finally kind of “Isolation” is the physical kind.
That is where you will avoid going out, avoid going to family functions, meeting with friends, going shopping, or just going to a movie. You are ashamed, you are tired, you are heavier, etc. etc.!
IF YOU WANT TO WIN THIS BATTLE, IT IS MORE THAN JUST MAKING A SALAD!
If you want to win the battle it is more than just making a salad, you need to make changes! You need to acknowledge you want to withdraw from everything and say, “Okay, I feel this way but I am still going to be a player, even though I do not want to play”!
Isolation means just you and your disease and guess what????? That disease knows how to push your buttons and for the most part …will win over you.
Do not let it win over you any more!
Just recognize that you are trying to Isolate and that is part of your problem.
Yet still get up tomorrow and make that phone call, go out to visit your friend, go to the neighborhood café and socialize, go to the family function…no matter what your weight is today! That number can change either way tomorrow, depending on what you do right…Today!
You are a human being who deserves every break in life! You deserve the chance to enjoy life, to smile. You have paid your dues now you can enjoy a little.
Give yourself permission to smile, laugh, and have a good time. Okay life may be a little “Heavy”. You know what? It could be worse…you know that, just turn on the News.
So remember do not Isolate, it does not help…at all.
Open up those doors, open up your heart, and get out of your head.
Look for some one who loves you and share with them. Play with them. Laugh with them.
Laughter, good medicine…and it is free!
My dear friends, we are in a war to survive but one where there are many battles to be won.
We learn along the way, we learn from each other… I am sharing with you, my brothers and a sister in battle…that Isolation is “Not a good thing”!
Do not be alone! You do not have to be!
You have me, I have you, we have each other!
You have to make it work ……..Go fight for what you deserve!
Have a great day and Never Give UP!
Love
Mike
Nice to smile
Mr. & Mrs. H
Me and My Boot
Taking in the Sun
08/2008
About Me
- Mike Hebranko
- Iam a guy who loves life. I have struggled with my weight my whole life. My long battle has taking it's toll on myself, my friends and most of all my family. I am blessed to have a great support team, with God being at the top of that list!!
27 comments:
Wow did you hit a spot ... isolation ....I alwasy hide away when things are bad .. i shut down and i put that wall back up and i dont ALLOW anyone to get through it ... no no just let me wallow in my own self pity and let me do this to myself ...
This is a hard one for me to break... i think that is because growing up i isolated myself i hid i stayed alone ... but i know in my heart i dont need to do that anymore i have people who love me for me and who i can turn to but sometimes old habits are hard to break... like now in my life there is so much going on ... with my mom dying i have started to shut down and try and handle things alone ...and then when it gets to be too much i explode and i hurt...for me this is a matter of retraining my mind and my way of thinking and my behaviors..... and i know i an do this i dont have to be alone i dont have to shut people out .. its ok i can let them in and this is what i tell myself when i feel it happening .....
hugggssssssssssssss and love
Carol
This is really some blog message. You really got it on the head. Isolation has been a problem with me for so many years. You know what I feel, what I think.
I know I have to change.
Thank you Mike
Mindi
Dear Michael
I read what you say about isolation and I enjoyed it and it is me. Yet I can not do as you say. I just can not pull myself up out of this hole I am in. What do I do now?
Farncine Howard
This is so ironic. You don't know how many times I started to send you an E-mail and suggest a blog post on hiding. Hey...great minds work alike!
Dear Michael
Isolation, you are so there! Kathy said and so did Carol, this is a topic of deep meaning to me and so many of us who are fat. I don't want to be with anyone once I have screwed up. I can barely be with myself. Thank you Michael for making take a look at this topic and I will try a little harder to do better
Randi
I withdraw from my friends and family as soon as I start cheating! I dont want to see anyone. All I want to do is hide, eat, and feel really angry with myself. How do you Mike or anyone stop this craziness?
Irene F
Hi Mike
Your writings have touched me in so many ways. I need to tell you how much of a difference you have made in my life. You have helped me to look at the glass as half full and over flowing. Thanks, it is nicer this way.
Susan Carmichael
Unlike most people who come here I do not have weight issues. Yet I have to be honest I keep coming back to this blog very often. I find what Mike has to say is very on the ball. It has made me think, gotten me angry, and made me change in many ways. I love to read the comments most of the bloggers have to say. I for one think this blog should be more out there.
Gerald R. Maine
I wanted to share something here even though i already blogged.... after reading this blog i started doing a lot of thinking and realized i cant do it alone and made the move and went to my dr and asked for help in my depression and the way i been feeling... so yes i am taking that step to help me and help me focus and be able to live again .. Thank you Mike for opening my eyes once again .. love ya for that .... Carol
I have to tell you that I enjoy this blog so much. I get much inspiration from it and I wish there was more writings from Michael.
Johnathan T
Hi Michael
Wondering if we were going to see you on anymore television soon. Ienjoy listening to you. Also do you make any personal appearances?
Thank you for all that you do and give to our cause
Connie Wright
This is a penertrating blog and I lovge reading the whole thing. I also enjoy the polls. What happens with that information?
Jill
j
Mike
Isolation is a thing that runs my life. I hide from my friends family and loved ones. I withdraw for weeks at a time and destroy myself in the process. I hear what you are saying and I agree with you and I must begin to make changes. I will keep you informed if you do not mind.
Robin Orlando
Ps
Please keep up this blog page have been coming to it over a year and it helps me so much
Hey blog family. I've a thought. Anyone watch "The Biggest Loser". Now whether you're a fan of the show or not, something struck me last week. There is always an episode where they put the contestants in front of their most dangerous trigger foods and there is some type of a contest to see if they can resist the temptation.
Could anyone imagine a entertainment television show that would line up a group of alcoholics in front of bottles of liquor and see if they could abstain? Watch and hope that one of them would take that first drink. It would never happen.
I'm not bashing the show. I actually watch it, but it just gave me pause to think about how our addiction is not viewed to be the same killer that others are.
Mike
At times I feel so Isolated I want to jump out of my own skin. Eating does not make me feel better it just makes me not feel at all. Do you understad? Does anyone out there understand? I do not feel good about eating like a "Pig" but it is like I am in a trans. It is about how much do I est, how do I get it, how fast can I eat it. Then it is over and I am still alone, still isolated, still hurting. Crazy, isn't it?
Anyone?
Paula F.
SAW YOU ON INSIDE EDITION AND YOU ARE RIGHT WE HAVE TO KEEP FIGHTING
Dear Miike
You were on Extra or Inside Edition and I have to give you credit you are out there still inspiring all of us no matter where we are in our lives not to give up. I for one want to be the first to get your new book. Where can I find it I am looking for it on Amazon and have not been lucky can you help me
Vincent Grueber
It was great to see you the other day on television would love to see and hear from you more often.
Beatrice R.I.
Paula F, I hope you are still out there. I understand completely what you are saying. There are millions of us with this disorder. We all have the same story, just different faces. When I am caught up in binge eating, I know I am destroying myself, but I cannot stop. I am so driven at that point that no one I know would recognize me. In those moments, the madness is so overwhelming it is as if I exist in another world. It’s a world where there are no consequences. Just a loud pounding voice in my head screaming at me to eat. So know that you are not alone. And I will tell you the same thing that I tell myself, sometimes over and over again. It does NOT have to happen again. I wish I had an easy solution, but obviously there isn't one. We each have to find ways to help ourselves and help each other deal with and overcome this disorder. I just wanted to tell you that I feel your pain. I know your pain, and I know that, as Mike says, as long as we do not give up, there is always hope.
Mike you have created a great space for people who really understand each other and thank you for it.
I am in trouble and I get a lot of support from this blog.
Rita V
Mike
I love the things you blog and they hit me right in the center of my life force. You seem like a man who has either a lot of wisdom or life maybe both.
You are a leader and I am thrilled to follow things you have to say. You have helped me through so much!
Thank you so much
Dorothy Golden
Saw you on TV recently, is there a place that you post your apprearances? I would love to see you more oftena and hear from you too. You have inspired me to go on a diet and eat right and I am happy to tell you I have lost 41 pounds since April. Yyour words have helped thnaks.
Jose P
Hi Kathy
I am doing as both you and Mike have said and that is hanging in there. I feel better and I think I can make it. You sharing with me has helped a lot. Thank you so much
Paula Frances
Michael
You talk about Isolationa and it has effected me in my whole lifestyle for so many years. After reading this topic about two weeks ago it got me thinging about myself and I have to tell you. I have started to change my life and not isolate myself so much.
I am feeling better.
Betty Thomas
Dear Mike
I have been looking for you for quite a while now and it has not been easy to find you. I am so happy to find this blog I enjoy this blog very much and love what you have tosay ans what others also have to say;
I will now be a regular visitor.
Sincerly
Jamie
Mike
What are my rewards in life? I wake up each day in pain. I suffer through each day with it ending worse than I started. There is no hope for me. Things only get worse. My rewards are none my penalties are many
You are lucky you have a wife, a son you are wise to why your are big and how to change it. It is too easy to feel sorry for yourself and not get on with the task in hand in your case which happens to many of us. So I hope you manage to find a diet that helps you for weight loss, but to stop thinking about food all the time find new and exciting things to stimulate you as I find this helpful. From reading, learning a new language, playing a game etc I find this a great help.
Hope you find any of this useful and not demeaning or anything. We all have tasks to find our way through and I think handy hint can help from time to time. All the best
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