Saturday, August 29, 2009


The dictionary defines cheating as follows: to defraud; swindle; to deceive; to elude; to violate rules or regulations; a person who acts dishonestly.

Wow, after all that we are then suppose to feel good about ourselves and get back on track and do the things that we need to do to live a healthier and fuller life.

Think about it? Here we are doing are best, trying are hardest, whether it is to eat right, stay sober, be positive or just live a healthier life style and then it happens! A bad moment, a bad choice, a bad day, whatever the reasons may be, you may be aware of the reason or you may not, it just happens!

You “Cheat”, then you come to your senses and cannot help but look at what has happened, what you have done and you think to yourself...”I cheated”!

Then the tapes begin to play in your head. Then by definition you are a fraud, swindler, you violate the rules, you are dishonest! You cannot help but hear these tapes in your head. You have been raised your whole life, to know that cheaters are low lives.

Now after that and a host of other guilty feelings, you are suppose to go forward, feel good about yourself, get back “on the wagon” and eat healthy and do healthy things for our self.

Can it be done? It can! Is it easy? No! Must it happen? You bet!

Who else but “you” is going to do it? If not now, when? Are you going to let another day go by? Do more damage to your body, your mind, your heart?

You cannot wait for someone else to make you feel good (it might happen, but there are no guarantees). There is an expression that goes “don’t wait for some one to tell you to wash your face…because then you just might look better than them.”

That is a harsh statement and does not play true in all cases but the point is we cannot wait for others to make us feel good about ourselves.

We have to dig deep inside and find the strength, realize the goodness, the worth inside of our self and begin once again.

It can be difficult, especially when you might have people around that knock you every chance they get, that may have lost faith in you, or are just fed up with you and all the years of you have struggled already.

These are the times when you need to try your hardest.

When that hill becomes a mountain, yet either way, it still needs to be climbed, one more time. You and you alone have to find the strength to take those first steps.

You have to tap into that inner worth, the inner need to succeed, the desire to survive, you have to know that you are worth it!
Life at times is not easy and often the bounce back from “nowhere” seems impossible, but who else but you deserves to be happy.

Do not act has if you might not deserve to be happy, you do!

You are a beautiful creation and deserve to live your life to its fullest.

Therefore, you, I and the rest of us have to fight!

Fight for our well-being, fight no matter what our demons are, no matter how dark they may be. We have to do what we need to do to make it!

If we need help and cannot find it here then we have to look for it there.

We need to do, what we need to do! As hard as it may seem, as alone as we may feel, we need to be able to look inside ourselves first!

We have power! We are strong! We made it this far and we can make it to the top of that mountain.

My friends who are in struggles of all kinds…I say this to you. Hang in there!

Be a little easy on yourself; give a little hug to yourself.

Never quit, never give up!

You are special….very special and you are worth it!

Your Brother in Battle



Anonymous said...

When i read this many things came to mind and one thing that did come to mind was im not cheating on food ... thats impossible yes i might binge but to me that is not cheating ... but what i am cheating on is that extra day i could have or that extra moment .. or cheating myself out of not being able to do things with the lil one because i allowed my addiction to take over....i didnt just cheat myself but i cheated others around me... to me now going on a binge is not cheating its just another chance for me to start over is now time for me to start cheating others out of time with me and being able to do things and time to get back on that road again ......

ps Mike im still gonna beat ya at farkle lol

love and huggs

Kathy said...

I think this adds perfectly to your previous blog about the fact that this disorder feeds on negative energy, literally. When we loath ourselves because of a binge, it can seem as if our bodies have betrayed us. We loose sight of the fact that our bodies do not have a will of their own, that they respond to our will, or a higher power’s will if you so choose to believe. If you recognize that wanting to eat when you are not hungry is a sign that you are trying to get through to yourself, then you can change from being a victim of desire to a place of power and choice. A problem does not have to repeat itself unless we continue to carry our past failures into the present. You are so right Mike, as usual. We can change. Our responses to situations can be better each and every day.

Anonymous said...

I strongly enjoy each and evry blog that you write, some more thannothers. This is one of those. I am a cheat and I always feel like a loser. Thanks for the insight.
Judy T

Anonymous said...

You certainly know how to hit home. I love what Kathy has to say and I relate to Carol. I get so much from this blog and love coming here. Thanks
Helen RI

Anonymous said...

Cheating is such a harsh word and has set me back so much in my life. I am glad that you are bringing it to the forefront and taking the sting out of it.
Harry D

Anonymous said...

Dear Michael
Each time I enter this blog page I deal with different emotions of mine. You have a way of making me look inside myself. I have to share with you for years I have beaten myself up after every cheat and added pounds and pounds. You have helped me to take the guilt out of what I do and just take care of myself.
Julie G

Anonymous said...

How do I forgive myself for cheating?

Anonymous said...

Dear Michael
When is cheating considered a crutch just to give myself permission to eat? I am not sure what I am sayin but if I forgive myself for cheating then I forgive myself for eating then I give myself permission to eat as I want too. Then I am back to sqaure one or even negative square one.
What are your thoughts on this thinking pattern
Carla Sandy from Ohiho

Anonymous said...

It's Labor Day and I have been cheating like crazy. Now I am not suppose to feel guilty about it? I know you are right but it is not easy. I have to have one more Hot Dog. I have too!
Jane Marie G.

Anonymous said...

I am just glad the summer is over. One event after another, one cook-out then one more picnic.
Peter W

Anonymous said...

I get so much from this blog and I thank you for sharing so much of your heart.
Tom Ronald

Samantha said...

Thank you Mike for all your help and great words or wisdom


Linda G said...

Dearest Mike
I enjoy this blog so much and get so much out of it. Your recent poll asks if I am worht the effort. I had to answer -not sure and I am not.
I have tried so many times and failed and I ask myself am I worth the effort anymore. You have shown us that we should never give up so I am hanging on. I hope I can.

Roy Jenkins said...

Dear Michael
Chaeting what a topic. I don't know how you think them up but you know the ones to write about. I had a horrible weekend but I read your blog today and realize I can not beat mself up otherwise I will be eating all weekend.
Thank You
Roy Jenkins

Anonymous said...

Each Time I come to this blog page I get more and more. You seem to get to the heart of the matter. I am so in need of help and I thank you for your help.
Brenda Tn.

Laurie said...

When I first heard of your story I was touched and impressed but your willingness to forge forward. You are a man of great strength and I find that amazing. You give others hope. Keep up the great work.
Laurie Faulkner

Anonymous said...

Can You post more often I love what you have to say???

ML said...

I think that some of us love to sabotage's such a hard thing to overcome. But at what point do we decide to actually stop and care for our own wellbeing?!? We have to consciously stop and consider that we need to care for our individual needs. And that means actually eating in a healthful way and not overindulging... and I hope that all of us consider that we're worth it. I was reading a study that stated that overeaters overeat simply because they're trying to primally care for themselves the best they know how. We need to try to cut through the noise and actually take care of our own needs, as hard as that's so hard to love yourself. I know. Stop, and take a moment. Remember that life is something to savor. :)

Kathy said...

Spot on ML!. It's good to see you back on the blog.

Anonymous said...

Dear Michael
Love coming to this blog. Love reading your postings and also the comments of others. We learn from each other and your help and advice is so helpful.
Thank you
Sandra H

Robert T, said...

I fine what you say to be so true and down to earth. I get much from what others right. Thanks ML, Kathy, Carol and I relate to what Judy T says.
I am a guy and there are not to many places for us to feel comfortable to share. I am physically strong, fairly successful in business but am weak when it come to food. Thank you Mike and all for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Life is one try after another. A cheat here a cheat there, does not make me a bad person. Right Mike?

Brenda Wilcox said...

Hi Mike
I have a question. What is your secret to surviving. How do you just keep going like that bunny?
Please share it with me, I am having a rough time just picking my head up of the pillow each morning.

Kathy said...

Brenda, I have found it hard to go on many times also. Sometimes I have only been able to accomplish the bare minimum to keep my life going. I do not know you, but I know one thing for certain. That none of us was born to live our lives ashamed or condemmed. I know from my own experience that each time you do pick your head up off the pillow and just do something, anything. Make the bed. Make a cup of tea, a cup of coffee. Shoot, make a whole pot of coffee! Little by little each thing build on the last and the next thing you know, you're feeling better.

Brenda Wilcox said...

Dear Kathy
Thanks so much for your kind thoughts. It has helped me. Mike has set p this network and I believe it is a great thing. Thank you once again and I will keep pushing myself

Warren T said...

Powerful stuff on this blog
and I thank you

Anonymous said...

Dear Michael
I enjoy coming to this blog. You have helped to lose 38 pounds since I saw you in July on Oprah
Thank you