I am sad today! I am hurting, I am burning inside and my heart is screaming in pain. God has decided it is not quite the time for me to become a grandpa again. It is times like this when I find my faith being tested and I know I must turn to God even more, yet it is difficult. I know he understands it a lot better than I do. However, what hurts the most is not the loss of the opportunity of being a grandpa to another little baby right now. No, I have my grandson and that is wonderful enough and if God says that is it, well then that is okay. What hurts the most is that I have two children (my daughter-in-law and son) who are hurting and I cannot do anything to make that pain go away.
I know, I as a parent, I want for my kids not to hurt. I want to protect them. I know it is not a reasonable thing to say, I know it is part of growing up, I know they are adults and I hear all the arguments and voices telling me all the logical things but I still wish there was more that I could do for them, than just sit here. Sit here and love them, grieve with them, support them and try to find the right words (which I never seem to do).
I know time will heal, and with the help of our Lord a year or so from now there might be a little baby sitting here and today although will never be forgotten, the pain might be filed under “Past Pains”, but all that doesn’t help today or make it feel any better.
I want to take a moment to address all you beautiful, wonderful mothers out there. You are “vessels of miracles”, and you go through so much. Thank you and God bless you all.
As for my Nancy (my daughter-in-law, who I do not even think reads my blog), Nancy I love you honey and it will be okay and God, I am asking you, take care of her through this difficult time. Thank you.
Thank you everyone for your time and ...
Love to all of you … born and unborn