Tuesday, January 15, 2008

A Little Less Sunlight Shines Today ...

I am sad today! I am hurting, I am burning inside and my heart is screaming in pain. God has decided it is not quite the time for me to become a grandpa again. It is times like this when I find my faith being tested and I know I must turn to God even more, yet it is difficult. I know he understands it a lot better than I do. However, what hurts the most is not the loss of the opportunity of being a grandpa to another little baby right now. No, I have my grandson and that is wonderful enough and if God says that is it, well then that is okay. What hurts the most is that I have two children (my daughter-in-law and son) who are hurting and I cannot do anything to make that pain go away.

I know, I as a parent, I want for my kids not to hurt. I want to protect them. I know it is not a reasonable thing to say, I know it is part of growing up, I know they are adults and I hear all the arguments and voices telling me all the logical things but I still wish there was more that I could do for them, than just sit here. Sit here and love them, grieve with them, support them and try to find the right words (which I never seem to do).

I know time will heal, and with the help of our Lord a year or so from now there might be a little baby sitting here and today although will never be forgotten, the pain might be filed under “Past Pains”, but all that doesn’t help today or make it feel any better.

I want to take a moment to address all you beautiful, wonderful mothers out there. You are “vessels of miracles”, and you go through so much. Thank you and God bless you all.

As for my Nancy (my daughter-in-law, who I do not even think reads my blog), Nancy I love you honey and it will be okay and God, I am asking you, take care of her through this difficult time. Thank you.

Thank you everyone for your time and ...

Love to all of you … born and unborn


bebe said...

Your post is beautiful, Michael. I know you have found the right things to say at this painful time. Love to you and your wife and family.

Carol said...

I read this with sadness in my heart knowing you and mikey and nancy and your family. But you are all so strong and know together you will get through this time and be there for each other. My heart goes out to you all but remember God never gives us more then we can handle and in time you and your family will heal and I am sure you will be blessed again with another little one. hugggsss and kisses Carol

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Bebe
I would first like to thank you for your kind words. You say we do not know each other but I know you forever and I expect to know you from now on. Keep in touch and my family thanks you.

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Carol
What can I say to you except on behalf of my wife and kids thank you. You always have those right words to say. I wish you had a Carol in your life like I do. Wait a minute you do have a Carol, you have yourself. You have a lot of love and wisdom Carol and I pray you get to know and trust yourself a lot more.
With deep love and best wishes to you

Anonymous said...

michael thank you for sharing your raw pain as well as your sheer joy of life.......stacey

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear of this sad news but glad to know your weight is better - I'm following your story on an English satellite channel

Emma :D said...

Hi Michael.
I'm a new reader, I googled your name after seeing you on UK tv to see how you were doing. Glad to see you're doing well, so pleased for you.

I was so sorry to hear of your family's loss. I have known this loss myself, and I pray that you heal the way that I did. You will never forget, but the loss becomes easier with time. You are blessed with such a close relationship with your son and daughter in law, this will help you all to heal.

Take care

Carol said...

Thought I would pop in here and see how all the bloggers are doing and hope that everyone is having a good healthy day....wishing you and smiles and giving out hugggss...take care all

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Dear Sweet Emma
Thank you so much for your kind words and deep thoughts. Let me tell you they help. We all know that time will be the greatest healer and that we are blessed to have each other and close family and dear friends.
I hope all is well with you Emma and I hope we keep in touch. Hang on to each day and realize that todays is just as good as tomorrow as longs as we make the best of it. Sometimes things are dealt to us that make things just a little harder to deal with than other days. Yet on attitude, faith and ability to make the best of it and hang on ... we will make it!
Have a great day Emma
with respect and Love

Mike Hebranko said...

Hi Carol
We bloggers are doing good and having a healthy day. Not only that but we are having a day with a smile and I hope you too have a smile. A smile sometimes can be the best medicine. So come on Carol, go ahead give me a smile, come on thats my Carol :) love ya

Jessica said...

I found your blog a few weeks ago, after watching an episode of Brookhaven I thought that I would google your name and see how you are doing.

Whenever I read a good news blog, I cheer for you. You are such an inspiration, I am so happy for you and your family. You see 3yrs ago in March, my family lost my Uncle due to his battle with obesity. There isn't a day that goes by that we do not miss him. was such a kind and generous man. It breaks my heart that he never met my sweet little son, who reminds me of my uncle, in so many ways.

Keep up the fight Michael, there are so many people out here rooting for you!

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Jessica
Thanks for your great thoughts and wonderful wishes. I am sure your uncle is watching over you and your beautiful little boy and he is so happy for you.
You said something that I am so glad you shared about your uncle and that is how warm, kind, and loving he was. So often, the public does not realize that beneath all that skin and extra weight is a wonderful, feeling human being. Who loves and is loved by others.
Your uncle was and still is a lucky man. His memory will live on and on, thanks to your family.
Jessica thank you and he does live through that little son of yours and in the hearts of all of you.
God bless you and your family.

Wally said...

Hello Mr Hebranko,

I have seen you on TV many times, and just came across your blog. I don't know if you get a chance to read many of the responses to your blog or not, but I wanted to write to you. I realize that this particular post was not about your struggles with weight loss, but this is the subject of my reply. I fight the same battle everyday. I am a 36 year old man from Appleton, WI. Currently I weigh about 425 lbs. I am miserable every day. Everyday I say "this will be the day I begin", and by the end of the day I have failed yet again. It is a difficult struggle that we both face. I wish you only success in your journey. I hope that we can both find the strength to overcome our present situations before it takes us to an early grave. I have no wife or children, but you have a wife, a child, and a grandchild. It is my sincere hope that you are there for all of them for many years to come. Take care Mr. Hebranko.

Wally Palmer