Do they like me? What will he think? I wonder what is she saying? I hope they agree!
How often have we or do we play these tapes inside our own heads? How many times in our lives do we look for the approval of others before we think we can be happy?
Then when we do not get what we expect, why do we give our self, permission to do some kind of self-destructive behavior. Something to make ourselves feel even worse. In many of our cases, it will lead to some kind of binge or even worse, we fall off the wagon and reverse many hours of hard work.
There are those times that people in our lives not only never give you that “Pat on the Back” but often cut you in half with some harsh words. We are human and no matter what size we are, no matter how much flesh we may have on our bones. We still feel! We still hurt! We are sensitive people with real feelings and we are not protected from pain, either physical or emotional.
The thing is it will be an almost impossible task to change those people and get them to stop hurting us (although we can try). What is more important? What will work a lot more easily is to …
TAKE AWAY THEIR POWER! Take away their power to hurt you. Let us face it is you that have given them such power! You allow them to hurt your feeling, for their opinions to count so very much. Now is the time for you to take ownership back.
No one should have such power over you, as to where a remark or lack of one, would turn your whole life upside down!
Change has to happen. As many of us know, taking off the weight often is not as difficult as keeping it off. Keeping it off is a whole project, which involves many changes…external and internal. Someone hurting us does not help our metamorphosis.
You are who you are and people who care bout you, who love you, who count just need to accept you the way you are. Now if there are things about your personality, your character, your being that you want to change…then you will add that to the list of inventory changes about you …and work on them.
In the meantime, you are here in this world first to make you the person that you like.
In order for you to change you have “to first be who you is and not who you isn’t because if you is who you isn’t you just isn’t who you is.”
I always say we can always change the packaging (our outside) but we have to like the ingredients first. We really do not need many unsolicited outside opinions. We usually have enough about ourselves.
The changes we need to make require a lot of positive energy around us and we need to be in as positive a mood as possible.
Do not give the power to others to drag you down!
Take Back That Power
You Are Worth It!
Have a wonderful day and never forget how very special you are…
Love
Mike
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55 comments:
ABSOLUTELY! Thank you. Aren't we all self-destructive sometimes? It's so horrible because it can feel like a struggle that goes on forever. "Your body is a temple"...easier said than done. When you're staring at a large wedge of cheesecake (or whatever your poison), it doesn't necessarily feel like it's destructive. But it's SO HARD to differentiate between taking care of your body and overstepping your limits in regards to food. Why do we have these strings connecting us to food and feelings and whatever else? So hard to overcome, and Mike is 100% correct: you have to block out exterior criticism! It's about your own journey, not what other people think of you.
Life is so hard. I completely agree that you need to say 'screw you' to critics and focus on your own self-promotion. It's hard enough to respect yourself without dealing with other people in the peanut gallery.
Great, fabulous, on point post, Mike! Thank you.
MaryLeigh in CT
I cannot judge my insides by other people's outsides. Something I work on daily. And not only giving others the power to take me down, but also giving them the power to determine my happiness. Making my recovery about all the expectations I thought would happen from other people derailed the best progress I ever made with my health years ago. Overcoming this illness is so much more important than what I look like or will look like. It is the most important thing I will ever do because the alternative is being crippled both mind, body and soul. Having Mike to help me and all the others who post here has been one of the greatest blessings I have ever found.
"Dissapointments are inevitable.
Misery is optional."
Great Great Great
Great posting on Mikes part and love the comments.
I get so much help and inspiration from this blog spot. Great.
I look forward to coming here.
By the way yes, I have to work on the way others control my life.
I must take back the power.
Jeni
Dear Michael
I saw Oprah Yesterday and thought of you. Went to the internet and looked for your name and found this unreal blog. Michael you have to get a radio show or something. We need an outlet and you would be a great leader for many of us. Besides you could motivate like no one else can. Please Michael think about it
Dana NC
Mike
I have to take back the power! I allow people to ruin my days, weeks, life. I have to stop. Thank you Mike and his friends for getting me to think about it again.
Vera T
Michael do you mean that no one iin your life is important. Not your wife, your son, your grandson? It sounds selfish. I want to agree with you because people can upset me pretty badly but I am afraid to become too self centered. Help
Karen G
Karen G,
I think you may be misinterpreting what Mike is saying. He's simply saying to say no to negative forces in your life that drag you down..don't let the people being rude to you allow power over your sense of self and worth. That would inherently never be his wife, son, or grandson!! They offer love, not harmful/toxic comments.
He just wants to convey that you need to silence the negative critics and be responsible for your own happiness, and there is NOTHING selfish about that!!
Love,
Maryleigh in CT
Dear Mike
I looked for your name and found your blog. Man am I glad i did, this last posting has hit home. I needed this and I enjoy also the comments of the people won contribute and I thank you all.
Toni F
Dear Michael
Just got finished reading your blog and I have to tell you I enjoyed it so much. You have helped me realize I need to take back the power.
Thnak you
Candi B
Take back the power, how true this is. I have been verbally abused for more years than I can even remember. You have hit the nail on the head. I am going to make changes Michael and I want you to know that you have helped get on that right path.
Thank you so much
Nora Thomas
Nora. Remember that being cherished and the size of your body are not related. We only believe they are. The truth is you deserve to be cherished and to cherish yourself no matter what you weigh. Every time you defend yourself against an attack, you develop the strength, power and courage to truly change. God bless you.
MICHAEL.
THIS BLOG MUST OF BEEN WRITTEN FOR ME, MY VOTE IS I THINK AND CARE ABOUT EVERYONE BUT ME. I AM AT A LOW PLACE NOW MY WEIGHT IS AT A STAND STILL, AND YES I SCREAM FOR THE APROVEABLE OF EVERYONE , DO I LOOK TO FAT ? CAN YOU TELL I LOST WEIGHT? DOES MY HAIR LOOK TO THIN? DO I LOOK OLD? YOU NAME IT AND I BEAT MYSELF OVER IT EVERYDAY, I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR JIMMY ! HE COULD AND SHOULD DO BETTER!!! I AM GOING TO BE 63!!! GOD 63 NEXT WEEK AND I FEEL I LOOK AT LEAST 73, SO YES YES I NEED TO TAKE THE POWER BACK AND NOW!!!!! I AM TO OLD FOR THIS B.S. THANK YOU FOR THE GREAT BLOG, GOD BLESS AND PLEASE GIVE MY LOVE, HUGS, AND KISSES TO ALL.
RO NY
Dear Mike
I want to thank you for this blog and I also want to say to the woman who posted (Ro) thank you fro sharing. You both have helped me so much. Ms. Ro I relate to you and I like you have looked for everyones approval for my whole 55 years and it is time for me to stop.
Thank you both so much, I am glad that I am not out here alone.
Jean T
This blog gets to the problem.
This blog so hit home ...taking back the power... i dont know how to do that right now... i am in such a rut that i feel like the power is taking over me .... i know the routine i know what i have to do i just cant seem to do it... yes im sure it will pass but right now im paddling and sinking....
all my love
Carol
Mike
I feel like Carol and I am sinking but I have to tell you that just reading your blog andthe comments is really helping me so much. Thank you for the outlet and your contribution to helping the world.
Julia
Michael
How do know so much, It helps me so much. I wait for each posting and the comments to follow.
Sincerely
Gilda
This has been an inspiration to me.
Thank you to all who contribute.
Michael
Your story has meant so much to me. You have put yourself out there when you were successful and when others would consider you a failure. It was the times when you were having your roughest times that gave me the most strength. Thank you for being so public. I have read some nasty things said about you on the internet and I just can not believe it. You have to be a kind and warm man and your family must be so lucky.
God bless you
Ronnie
Dear Mike
I love your blog and was wondering do you know the people who leave comments. I enjoy what the people have to say. I have been coming here for a while now and it has been helping get me through some rough times.
I will be back and hope some day I can help some one.
TJ
When I came here at first I could not believe what I was reading. Is this the same Maichael Hebranko they took out the window years ago? I thought he was dead? Is this him or a family member of his? I like what I am reading. I am overweight and struggle and lots of what I am reading hits home. What is the purpose fo this blog?
Norine
Hi Michael
Love coming here and reading this. Wish you could write everyday. How are you personally?
Kevin Gross
I feel as Carol feels but I too know that it will pass. I must take back this power. It is mine and as Mike says I have to have the control
Geri
This Mike guy has interesting stuff to say. Who is he?
John B
Mike
Love what you and your visitors have to say, just wish there was more to read.
Larry
Dear Michael
You talk about Power what about if people are not ready to give me back the power. What do I do?
Cindy Charles VT
I have followed you for years and now found this web page. I read many of the blogs and think that they have a lot of meaning. You have me thinking about many things. I will have to get back to you if you do not mind.
I am grossly overweight and not sure if I have the power or the will to do anything about it. I am going to read more of the old stuff and I will pray something clicks.
Rita S
Michael
I have read what you said and love it. I have also read what Ro, Kathy, MaryLeigh and the others have wrote it is helping me so much to understannd myself.
Thank you all, I have so many things going on in my life and this really is helpful
Anne
Dear MaryLeigh
You have such a way with words. I have been ib that cheesecake situation so many times and why is it so HARD. When we find that answer out we will all be so much more healthier.
Food is so there, so acceptable, so normal in evryones daily life. There isn't an event, get together, social, holiday that some how is not centered around food. Even the so important "Family Dinner Hour" a moment to bound with the family. Yet what are we doing while we are bounding? Yep we are eating. The thing is most can walk away from that table satisfied to wait to the next meal to eat or pick all night and their metabolisim doesn't give them a problem.
We do not just walk away from the table, we need to be pulled away and then for the rest of the day we are eating (not just picking) and it is taking its toll on us.
MaryLeigh, as you know our struggle is not an easy one but one that needs to be undetaken because we are important.
Our life is valuable and we desrve the peace and fun life has for us.
So my friend I want to personally wish you all the best and also thank you for sharing so much with us. I know you are a young lady with a lot of heart and a lot to give. Many have emailed me and you and a few of our other "Blog Family" have really helped them.
MaryLeigh thanks and good luck to you
Love
Mike
My dear Kathy
You too offer so much to this blog and those who visit and for this I want to thank you.
You share so from the heart and have such good stuff to say. You feel and fight as do many of us and Kathy you are a real winner. Oh you like us all may have a down time here and ther and it may last an hour, day, week and sometimes a little longer, but you are always aware of the Kathy inside who is fighting to survive and make a better life for herself.
You can never be back where you were in the old days, you are a butterfly that can never be a catterpillar again.
So Kath on behalf of our "Blog Family" I thank you for your sharing and I know you will never fail!
Love
Mike
Dear Jeni
We look forward to you coming to our blog page.
I am sure that you will find the way to take back the power. The best way is to just start!!! No longer will they have the right to hurt you, control you. You do not need them to tell you how wonderful you really are ...because the fact is you are wonderful
Have a great day Jeni
Love
Mike
I can't tell you how much "meeting" Mike and being connected to this source of strength has done for me. To all the other bloggers, I remember hearing some who said they felt like they were barely treading water. I know that feeling all too well. It's such a baffling thing to feel free from this obsession at times and at other times feel completely unable to make a rationale decision. It feels as if a switch has been turned off or on in my brain. Binge eating disorder fools my mind into believing that I do not have the power. But in reality, I always do. The best I can say is that it will pass. No matter how bad it is, it does pass, and if you can just hold on the best you can, any way you can, when it does pass, there will be less damage left behind.
Yes, Yipes, Stripes it's another holiday. They are all connected with food. I agree with Mike. I cannot live my life being afraid of food. Any time we act in our own best interest, we are breaking free. Enjoy the holiday for what it is, a time to enjoy fellowship and family.
A lot of what I share is not my own. They are things I have picked up along the way of 40+ years of dealing with this. I will sign off with one of my favorites.
"If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down." Mary Pickford
God bless all my brothers and sisters in battle.
It was a rough holiday but I am going to be a good recovery for me.
Lorna
Hi DanaSo nice to hear from you and hope to hear from you in the future. As for the radio ...who knows stay tune.
I hope all is well with you
keep in touch
love
Mike
Dear Vera
Go get it! You are in charge!
Good Luck
Love
Mike
Dear Sweet Karen
If you know me you would know that there is no one out there more important to me than my wife, my son and his family. I love my extended family and friends but in order for me to be good for them I have to be good for me!!! If I love them enough I will love me a little bit more. A little bit more just enough to not let everyone try to control me or hurt me. Most do not meant too but that is not important, I have to be successful when it comes to me. So call it selfish maybe we have to be a little selfish to survive.
I hope you get it Karen I adore my wife and family that is why I need to have the Power over my life!
Be well
Love
Mike
Dear Toni
Welcome
We have a great Blog Family
Good Luck
Love
Mike
Hi Candi
How are you doing? Getting back that Power that is so rightfully yours? You can do it, work on it! It takes time!
Good luck
Love
Mike
My Dear Dear Nora
No One has the right to physically, emotionally, or verbally abuse you. Sweet Nora you get back that power and so not allow anyone to hurt you. Nora if you need to get help getting back this power. Never be ashamed to reach out and get help! If someone is hurting you, call the authorites, get couciling, get out of the situation even if it is a friendship...it probably isn't much of a relationship to start.
Nora rmember you deserve to be happy so do what you need to do and be happy
Love
Mike
Ps
Keep in touch
Ro
You know how I feel about you, and I did respond to ou already.
When will you realize what we all know already ....that you are perfect just the way you are and who you are!!
Love ya
Mike
Dear Jean
We are so happy that you have joine us. Keep in touch with us.
Good Luck
Love
Mike
Dear Carol
You are such a survivor. You could start your own reality show. I know that you are a winner, just the fact you are here today says you are the winner you are. Know this about you! Carol you can, you will, I mean you do what needs to be done. Just acknowledge this power inside you and know that no one gives it to you. You have given it to yourself for all these years!
Go you powerful lady
Love ya
Mike
Julia
Here is a life perserver we are throwing you. Julia you can swim, never stop. The shore is near by.
Good Luck and keep in touch we believe in you
Love
Mike
Dear Gilda
I know so much because I am an expert in my life!
I am willing to share
Love
Mike
Dear Ronnie
Thanks for those sweet words and I hope my family looks at me and thinks they are lucky. I know I am lucky to be with them.
As for me being trashed on the internet ......Well, they talk about me they leave someone else alone. They are the ones with deep problems if they are trashing someine who they really do not know. I pray for them.
Ronnie be well and keep in touch
Love
Mike
Dear T.J.
I know some of them personally but I know them all as brothers and sisters in battle. Besides aren't we all similar in different ways?
T.J. Come bakd we would love to have you
Good luck
Love
Mike
Hi Norine
It is me, I am wirting from Heaven!
Only kidding, no It is me and I just took my pulse and I am still alive.
The purpose of this blog is a place for me to share and for others to share their thoughts and plights too. Not to be judged just share and maybe receive a little love and understanding.
Join us Norine
Love
Mike
Dear Kevin
Thanks for asking. I am doing great! I am alive and that is wonderful. I have some rough moments and I like everyone else have plenty of problems but one thing at a time.
Hope all is well with you Keven
Good luck to you
Love ya buddy
Mike
Hi Geri
I want to wish you all the luck in the workd through your journey.
Keep in touch
Love
Mike
Dear John
Who am I? I am my mother's son. Madelaine's husband, Mikey's father and GaGa's Grandpa. That is such a wonderful thing to be. John be well
Mike
Dear Mike
This blog has helped me change my life. You willingness not to give up gives me the courage to fight another day, Thank you and God bless you
Nina L
Dear Micahel
You have really touched me in so many ways. You have been put on this earth to help me and I know so many others. I have been reading your blog now for six months and what you write and what moost of the comments are have helped me realize I am not alone and your advice helps me see the way.
God Bless You and your family
Karen Gordon
I Have been here before and for sure will be back again. What a great spot to hang out
Fred
I Have been here before and for sure will be back again. What a great spot to hang out
Fred
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