Friday, February 13, 2009

Love

Wars have been fought, people have died, all over this simple but complicated “four” letter word … LOVE! Throughout time, people have proclaimed their love for their gods, for God, for their countries, for their fellow man, for nature and for each other. Love has become a very deep involved word and often a misused one. Love is said to come on all levels and all forms. There is the love you have for a parent, which is not the same as the love you have for a spouse. Nor is the love of a spouse the same as a love for a child. Then we love our children differently than we love our grandchildren. We have love for our close friends, which is nothing like we have for our neighbor next door, and the love for our neighbor next door is not quite the same as the love we have for our neighbors across the ocean.

Why have we complicated such a simple beautiful thing, like love? Boy, as human beings we can certainly “take simple and make it complicated”.

Anyone have an animal or a newborn baby? Watch how innocent and pure their love is for you. I had a physical therapist once who use to say all the time “Love is Love”!

When you think of it, how true is that statement? Love is just that …love! If we kept it simple, pure and true then love at its simplest form would be the same all around. How we express our love, how we practice our love to our spouses, parents, children, friends, families and acquaintances is different and should be different …of course it is. Yet the foundation is the same. A bonding, a respect, closeness, a oneness a feeling that cannot really be put in to human terms because it is a feeling beyond full human comprehension.

If we think of love like an onion (nice analogy) and peel it away layer by layer in the center of our love for all things, for all people must be the simplest of all loves.

Yet on the other hand, it is the kind of love, which gives most the biggest problem of all. What is that you might ask?
That kind of love is “Self-Love”!

Self-Love is at the core of true love. How do we begin to love, if we cannot love ourselves? Oh, I can hear the roar out there and read the emails already …relax. I hear you and I have been where many of you think you are.

There was a time when I knew I loved my wife and adored my son but I would swear there was no self-love for me. I would have argued that I could love others without loving myself …but I was wrong!

I was wrong, not in the fact that I loved my wife and son of course I loved them, I was wrong in the fact of loving myself. I did love myself, I always loved myself and not in a narcissistic way but in way that love counts. The caring, the important way.

The problem was it was so long since I felt hope, so long since I really did anything good for myself, so long since I showed myself any love that I actually forgot that I did love myself.

The fact is we all love ourselves, we may forget that at times, sometimes for very long period. So long of periods that we think it is the truth …we do not love our selves but we do!

What one needs to do is something to spark that Self-Love. Something that really counts.

It is okay to love yourself; it is not selfish to have “Self-Love”. A little more “Self-Love” might help you to be happier, healthier and live better.

Allowing me to love me has been a positive thing. It has given me the strength to not give up, wanting to live, to want to be a part of the lives of those I love. Allowing me to love myself just intensifies and secures the love I have for all in my life.

“Love is Love” and let it begin with you.

Have a happy and loving day

Love
Mike

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mike
Once aain you have hit my heart and mind. You move walls with your words. You have begun to mive a wall in my life.
Thanks for the love lesson
Carla

Kathy said...

Self-love is so key to overcoming an eating disorder. Most of us have spent far too much time feeling badly about who we are and what we have done. Condemning my imperfections has never helped me to love myself more. I would never treat a friend the way I have treated myself. If I saw another woman suffering the way I have, I would hold her face in my hands and tell her that she doesn't have to live like this. That she is capable of much more greatness than she ever dreamed possible. I have felt for decades that I must overcome this to become whole. Now I believe I must recognize I am whole before I can overcome. But it isn't easy. It takes every tool I have, and being connected to Mike and this community has been a tremendous help to me. There are times when I am on the verge of making the wrong decision, and I will picture Mike and hear his voice. Every time you choose to stop when you could continue, you are acting from a desire to care for yourself. With practice, we can learn to treat ourselves with gentleness and compassion.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mike
I have to agree with Kathy, in many ways. I have been a member of this community for about 5 months and have found it so helpful. Kathy you like Mike have helped me at times as has many of the others. Mike I love what you have to say and would lvoe to so how meet you in person. thaank you so much
Gale Ks

Anonymous said...

Michael,
Isn't that the hardest lesson to learn in life? To actually love and accept who you are. Wow, I think that is an ongoing, ever-evolving process.

Just writing down all of the things we do to ourselves, to undermine our self esteem, is astonishing. Sometimes you don't even realize you're doing it. Unhealthy eating-eating the wrong thing, not enough or too much, not going to the doctor when you should, smoking or drinking, having destructive relationships, talking down to yourself, "I'm so dumb sometimes!", it goes on and on.

At some point you do grow and realize that your number one fan should be YOU! And that entails all kinds of things...living in a way that promotes your well-being and happiness. So much easier said than done, isn't it.

I applaud you Michael for embracing who you are. We're here for such a short time, it's best spent taking care of yourself and loving life!! :)

Thanks for another wonderful post.


MaryLeigh in Connecticut

Anonymous said...

Michael
May I say I love this posting. You hit the nail on the head. Like Maryleigh says we need to always work on loving ourselves and you have brought that to the for front. I am sure you are not completely at the highest point yet and I am only at the starting point. All of us who read this blog page can go on this trip together. I want to thank Kathy and Maryleigh and of course you Michael for sharing, it really helps some one like me just to look myself in a mirror each day.
Jane, Miami Florida

Anonymous said...

Hi Michael
Love the "Love" message. You come into my heart and pull every string in it. I am so touched by your thoughts. How are you doing? We all care about you. Can you tell us what you are up to and if you will be doing anymore television?
Thank you
Doreen T.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say that I'd love to talk to other people struggling with things......Mike, I wish we could open a chat room! I just wanted to put it out there that my aim is mlsandersml and my email is maryleigh.sanders@yahoo.com because you are all very special people and I'd love to talk to you more.

MaryLeigh in Connecticut

Anonymous said...

Michael
What a great Idea a chat room. Is there anyway we can get one started? You have helped me so much and reading some of the comment s hel a lot also. Michael I have put my name on the newsletter list and hope I can get a back copy.
Hope we can talk soon
Tyler H.

Anonymous said...

Self love i believe is something that you learn to do ... one is not born loving themselves but learns to accept who they are and what they are...we all have faults we all have imperfections but do we accept them enough to love ourselves for them... i know it took me a long to say i love myself...why is it so easy for us to love others to bypass their faults and flaws but within our selves we cant do that....
I know in my many years of battling i have learned to accept each day and i try to go to bed each night accepting who i am i may not like everything i did but i love myself enough to forgive myself and to move on to the next moment
I know within my heart who i am and where i am going and how to get there ... now i just need to follow that path and let me guide me there

hugggs and love
Carol

Nancy in OKC said...

You are amazing. I see you on the tv every now and again and wonder how you are, how your health is. What a great thing you are doing by sharing your thoughts. I struggle every day with self-love, but am working on it. You are truly an inspiration. And a very decent man!
Nancy in OKC

Anonymous said...

Dear Michael
You are an amazing human being. You have helped me in so many ways. I just need to thank you so much. Can you tell me your feelings on liquid diets?
Do they work?
Thanks
Dale H. Utah

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Hi Mike
I love the Love is Love saying. It is telling of the type of person you are. Your heart is pure and your words are true. Thank you for heloing me to realize that I am allowed to love me.
Ellen Anderson

Anonymous said...

I read your blof and have learned from it. You are truly an inspiration to me ans many others. We need for you to be more public with yourself. Not just about food but you views of life make sense. Is there anywhere we can read more of your views and sharings?
Joe V.

Anonymous said...

I just enjoy this blog. Mike thanks you have helped me to keep going.
Tonya N.

Anonymous said...

Seen you on TV for years and have followed your story through all your struggles. Thank you for being so public and opened, you have helped me more than you can imagine.
Randi Ford

Anonymous said...

Dear Michael
I am moved by your thoughts for the day at the top of your page. This month "Love thyself and love thy world". It is great! Do you make these up. Where do they come from. I want to thank you for touching me in the way you do.
Harriet S

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Carla
You welcome. Keep those walls down, sometimes we might get hurt but the payoffs are much greater. We have to allow ourselves to take the chance especially when it comes to our self-love.
Good luck Carla
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Kathy
What can I say? You touch many and have so much to share, I thank you. Do me a favor take that beautiful face of yours in between your hands and give it a little squeeze and always remind you how very special you are to yourself and to others. Kathy You are a real special person
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Hi Gale
We can meet in person, come on over for Easter dinner. Hey we never know what the future might hold. Gale we are thrilled you are part of of our family.
All my love and repect
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear MaryLeigh
You are so right. I dod not wake up one morning and realize that I actually did love me. We all start out loving ourselves but through our lives and for many different reasons that changes. Yes it is an evolution, somtimes a revolution. Then it takes a lot of work to keep that fire burning. MaryLeigh thank you for wonderful comments
good luck
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Jane
Enjoy that trip, we are all with you and each day take a look in that mirror and tell yourself that you are going to have a great day! You deserve it! Let that self love grow with in you, there are plenty of reasons for this to be. Have a great trip, Jane and send some postcards along the way.
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Doreen
Thanks for asking, I am doing well. I am alive, happy and right now healthy. I am getting around and that is great. The food is in control for now. As for television I do not know what that part of my future has in store, we shall see. In the meantime Doreen, you be well and keep in touch.
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Thanks MaryLeigh, I am not sure how to set up a Chat room but if you do get in touch with me. michaelhebranko@yahoo.com
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Hi Tyler
You are on the list and your copies are on the way. Have a great day and be kind to you
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Carol
We finally disagree. I believe we are born with self-love. Some how, somewhere along the way we are made to feel that it is wrong. Whether by being told we are selfish to think of ourselves, or put downs by our loved ones, or just a feeling of low self worth, self esteem. How ever it happens is does. Well by our age (and I know you are a lot younger than I)it is time, it is okay, we have been through enough, we have paid our dues, we can now love ourselves.
Have a smiling day
Love ya
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Nancy,
How sweet of you asking about me. I am doing well, as far as I know. We watch all kinds of things with me, but every once in a while something else pops up. We take one day at a time. I do my best and In the long run it is in the "Big Guys" hands. God has been good to me and I thank God every day.
Nancy good luck on your growth in self love. I have a feeling there are many reasons for you to grow in self love, you seem like a beautiful person.
Keep in touch Nancy
have a good one
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Hi Dale
The truth is in my opinion "Diets" do not work. Oh, you go on a diet and you lose weight. The thing is people go on diets and if you go on something then some day you go off something. When you go off a "Diet" you usually gain weight.
Not to mention the addiciton many of us have towards food, this does not help. I have been on many "diets" lost thousands of pounds only to gain them back and more.
The thing is we have to change our life style forever and work on it forever.
So what do I think about Liquid Diets? I am not crazy about any food program that does not teach us to deal with all kinds of foods.
Besides before anyone begins a weight loss venture they should talk to their doctors.
Dale, I hope I have answered your questions. You be well and keep in touch.
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Ellen
Although it is not my saying it is my heart...Love is Love!
I am thrilled you realize you are allowed to love yourself....becasue you are!!
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Hi Joe
I am glad I can help. Right now I have this blog and we have the newsletter. We are working on a book. Want to publish it? We will see what the future brings.
Thanks Joe, keep in touch and I hope all is well with you.
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Tonya
Never stop going...life is so worth it!
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Randi
Remember most of the time our biggest help often comes from ourselves. Never forget how special you really are.
Good luck
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Harriet
As far as I know I make up those thoughts for the day. Thanks for taking note of the "thoughts of the day". Speaking of day...Harriet, have a great day!
Love
Mike

Anonymous said...

I enjoy reading this blog and the comments that go between everyone. This is a healthy blog I hope it keeps going.
Sal

Anonymous said...

Love is special and Michael is just that. I cannot explain how special it is to be with Michael and watch how he looks at the world. After fifteen years Michael goes back out to the world and sees the trees, people and so much more. It is like watching a kid seeing things for the first time. Sharing his zest and love for life is very special. Thank you all for your support it really gives him the drive he needs to keep going.

Donna said...

I never heard your story, but everytime I do my Sweatin to the Oldies, there you are. I always wondered about you and the others, and never knew your struggles until I saw you on Oprah recently.
Thanks for sharing your story with us. God bless you, and may you continue to live a blessed life.