As a little child what was important to me as I can remember was … not getting a beating, my daddy not coming home drunk and my mother and father not fighting. This was an important thing for me. As I got a little older (11-13 years old) the things that were important to me were the same things as a little kid but now there were even more things to add to the list. It was important to bring home good marks from school and for my teachers and neighbors to tell my mother what a “nice kid”, “a good boy” I was. It was also important to me if my few friends I had were, going to play with me without making fun of me (because of my weight). Then there was puberty, the teen years, and a completely new group of things that were important to me. Still holding on to all the things that were important to me in the earlier years (although in all due respect my dad had stop drinking, by now, only with an “occasional backslide”) there were additional important things. Girls, my future, career, car payments, a job and college.
Many things happened to me in my twenties and the things that were important to me were interesting. Oh some great things happened to me in my twenties (some of which how great they were I really did not get at that moment). I got married, I became a daddy, I was successful in business, and I bought a house, cars, and things.
Things! I think that is what was becoming more important to me … things. I was the first in the neighborhood to have a “radar oven” a VCR (as big as a TV almost) Sound 8mm movie cameras and projectors and screen, phone in the car, taking vacations. These were important things to me. Working long ours, making money and not being poor were important to me. I was poor as a child and I did not want to be poor as an adult or for my child to want for anything. I remember as a child if I wanted something (and I was an only child), we would have to save forever before I would get it. I did not want this for my son or for my family. It was important to me that if the three of us wanted it we got it before the end of the sentence came out of our mouth.
All these things, that were important to me, came with a price! First, it was an opportunity for me to feed my disease (literally feed it). I had unlimited money and resources. Working so hard and such long hours allowed me not to take the time to take care of myself. The other big price I paid was that, trying to take care of my family so hard, I lost out, on my family so much!
Working so much took time away from them but even more not taking care of myself took its toll on my body and health and in the end robbed my family of me. Slowly I could not or would not be part of their lives on many levels. I tried in many ways to be there but it was not the same.
It amazes me even now as I write about the “then me” how I have changed. I do not know the day or time it happened but I do know now that now in my fifties “things” are so not important to me anymore.
What is important to me, now? People are important! My wife, my son, his family, oh yes my grandson, oh how I adore that little guy! He brings me such joy, and he loves to tease me and I love every minute of it.
The truth is I never got the joy from my “Radar Oven” or VCR that I got from being in a swimming pool this weekend with my grandson. Experiences are important to me.
I find now that the things that are more important to me now are less the things that I can buy but rather the gifts of life itself.
My family and friends are important to me. They are gifts of life. The opportunity to take care of myself is important to me, this is a gift of life (my chance again).
If along my way in my journey I can touch someone else, help someone else, educate someone else about my struggle (our struggle) then this is a gift of life and important to me too.
Yet if it is meant to be for me to spend the next 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 months, 5 years, or 25 years being a good husband, father, father-in-law, GRANDPA, brother-in-law, nephew, cousin, uncle, friend then that is great for me!
It is more important to be a good person, to be a loving person, to be a happy person
rather than to have a billion things!
Hey, my friends have a great day, think of what is important to you …
Love
Mike
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30 comments:
Michael
I take my hat off to you and have to tell you that you have me re-thinking about what is important to me
Jessie Tx
I read this blog and got out a piece of paper and a pen and began making a list of what is important to me and ya know my how it has changed.....i think back to when i was losing weight before things were so different things that were important was being accepted being liked...having family accept me now that i was thinner...then when the weight came back on things changed things that were important was making it through the day or the moment.....but now i sit here looking at the list and family and friends are on the list but the first thing on the list is ME... i am important and that was never on the list before....thank you Mike for making me realize this and for opening my eyes to so many things over the last years.....huggggs and love you
Carol
Micheal,
I love your blog it is like a teaching tool. Some of us learn quicker then others what is important, in my case, as yours, it took me years of trying to catch that illusive butterfly (all the material things that we think will make us and our family happy, what is the cost!!! By the time we succeed, there is great cost. Your example is right on the money!
What is important to me now is a smile from my grandchildren, my 7 month old grandaughter giggle for the first time, to share my life with people I love! A simple sunrise or sunset etc....!
Dear Mike
You are so right. I know in my heart now that the things in my lofe that are important is my family and health.
God bless you and this blog. Please keep sharing your wisdom with us it is so needed.
Thank you
Love
Geraldine, Mo.
Mike, you have a very interesting story. What line of work were you in? During your illness did you take a leave of absence or retire? After living such a lavish lifestyle was not working a financial strain? Lena
Mike
How can you be so positive with all that has happened to you. Don't you get angry, at God, the world, yourself?
Please help me to see the light.
Randi SD
Dearest Mike
I can not explain how you have helped over the last few months. First your K.I.S.T. method is great. I love it and it works for me, I have now lost 22 pounds but that is the half of it. Reading your blog, taking in what you have to say about things gets me to thing. You help me to want to smile and think of the important things. I am begining to believe in myself.
Thank you and God bless you
Millie Caufield
Dear Mike
Are there any more at home like you and possibly single? Your wife has to be some lucky woman.
I read your blog almost daily and you inspire me so much. You seem to be happy and have a great outlook.
Continue to write and inspire us
Thank You
Sandra Il.
Dear Mike
How did you lost the weight the first time?
Why did you gain it back and how did you have the energy to try again?
Sal
Dear Mike
I saw you on the Half Ton Man the other Night and I realize that has to be an older show. I know you are doing better and I really feel that since this is OlymIpic season you deserve a Gold Medal.
Ever since I read your smile blog I try to smile whenever I am doing nothing. You help me to wnat to stay positive.
Bless you
Lauren M.
Hey Michael
Saw you on the TV you can see your struggles and I relate to them.
Reading your blog and what others have to say helps a lot.
I am a 46 year old woman. I have two grown children and a ex husband who I have a respectable relationship with. I just can not get myself to go out there and look for companionship. I am about 75 pounds overweight, I try and try all the time. Although I have to say that I have been trying now you K.I.S.T. way and it is helping me get through the days. I lost about 14 pounds. I know in advance I will still not feel good about myself, how do you do that? Any suggestions? Anyone?
Thank You and Michael please keep posting on this page you are inspiring
Teri
Michael
I am so glad that I found this blog. Saw your story on television and you amaze me. First I am glad you are still alive. I am encouraged. I am inspired by what you have to say. I have not read the whole blog page yet, but my goal is to read everything you write. I want to learn more about you and what you feel and how you continue to keep going.
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself you have helped me already to want to do better today!
Joseph (Toronto, Canada
Dear Jessie
I appreciate you taking your hat off to me (and when a Texan takes their hat off that is a special thing, because they are interesting a great looking hats!).
I am also glad you have shared with us your thoughts.
Re-thinking what is important to us at different times in our lives I believe is necessary and important to our well being and overall happiness.
Good luck
Luv to ya
Mike
Dear Carol
Good list especially if it with you. Some people call it selfish. I call it smart. The reason being is that if you are not important to yourself you really can not be much good to anyone else.
Besides you know what I say, You have to like yourself (be important enough) for you to take the time and effort to really take care of yourself.
You know Carol I only wish the best for you and please keep posting.
Love you
Mike
Dear d-from Texas
Oh those grandchildren, are they not the greatest joys? I can hear the little giggle as I read your comment.
How our priorities do change. I am not sure if it comes with life's' experiences, the ups and downs, but whatever it is I think we grow. We realize as we mature what are the true values of life and if we all lived to be a thousand years old we would probably have it down perfect. Yet we are grateful for what we do have and learn.
Thank you for sharing, you have a lot of wisdom and I hope you share with us in the future again.
Enjoy your family and those grand babies
Love
Mike
Hi Geraldine
You seem to have the right Idea, in my opinion. Family and health two good ones. They are on the top of my list along with faith, gratitude and a little self concern.
Geraldine I hope to hear from you again and God bless you too
Love
Mike
Dear Lena
Don't we all have an interesting life story?
As for my career ... I have had two basically simultaneous careers. I was in the Pharmaceutical business for many years and I have been a Tax Accountant for also many years. As a matter of fact I still keep up my studies (from home) in the tax field, I love that stuff.
As far as a financial burden, one of the hardest things was that I had to watch my sweet wife go from working because she wanted to work to working because she has to work. Although she loves her current career it is still difficult for me to watch her work so hard.
I hope this answers some of your questions, all I can tell you Lena
If life was a "fairy tale" we would all be princesses and princes. But we are who we are and thank God for that.
You be well
Love
Mike
Dear Randi
Thanks for your questions, I will do the best to answer.
As for being positive, I feel that is an easy one. I have to choices simple. I choose to look at the glass as "half full". I have experienced many many situations. Some of which could cause some to be bitter....what good is it? Why? If you survive to talk about isn't that a good thing!
Being angry is going to do what? How can I be angry at God. I am grateful and thankful to God. I am glad to be where I am today. The world has done nothing to me! There are some in the world that have shown there ignorance towards myself, my brothers and sisters who share my struggle with food and weight but there are people in the world that sometimes just are not nice to many other innocent people.
As for being angry at myself that is a rough one. I am not angry, do I look back sometimes and say "would I do somethings differently"? Wouldn't we all! Yet self-anger is very destructive and does not promote good health or recovery. So I work on loving myself and self forgiveness, all the time.
I hope this answers things for you.
Keep in touch1!
Love
Mike
Dear sweet Millie Caufield
22 pounds what a great thing that is. Don't get me wrong the number means nothing to me. What is important is that, 22 pounds means an effort of you taking to be more healthy, feel better and probably live longer or at the very least a better quality of life.
Especially with that very pretty smile.
Millie you are important! I know it and you should never forget it.
keep smiling and keep in touch
and Keep It Simple Today!
Love
Mike
Dear Sandra
I am an only child and You would have to ask my wife how lucky she is? I know I am lucky to have her. I am sure she will tell you she is lucky to have our great son and precious grandson but me, perfect I am far from. Yet I know that there is a great love between us, based on a foundation of friendship, built on romance, affection, team work, going down life's road together. 33 years of marriage and about 10 plus years before that we are here. Luck? Not some but lot of hard work, devotion, tears and lots of fun and laughs.
Yes I am happy, very happy are there times I am sad? Without a doubt! Yet I am always happy. There were times in my life when I was not happy and it was not very nice time. I like "happy"!I will try to continue to write as long as you continue to visit and comment.
Life is great Sandra and remember it is much more fun to play that to watch.
Have a bright, loving, happy day.
Love
Mike
Hi Sal
I lost weight the first time...the very first time I think I was 10 years old. I lost on all kinds of diets, gimmicks, pills, doctors etc.
Yet I think you are talking about my "large famous weigh lost back in 1989-1990 when I lost over 700 pounds. It was a combination.
First it was spark by a desperate letter to my dear friend Richard Simmons, who reached out and help me in many ways. He sent me then his "Deal A Meal" and Sweatin to the Oldies 1" and was instrumental in getting me at almost 1,000 pounds to a doctor. So the Deal A Meal was the basis of my weight loss along with a long hospital stay (with very serious illnesses), and some stupidity contributed to the loss.
Why did I gain it back you ask. I am an addict! Yes I am addicted to food. Unlike drugs, cigarettes or alcohol once you clean your system of those substances. You may still fight the desire constantly ( I can only imagine that struggle)and you may still want that drink, or pill, all the time but the thing is you do not HAVE to have it. I (we) have to have food, not once, not twice but at least three times a day (if not more for medical reasons). That is not easy to start to eat and then stop after a certain amount of calories.
Besides me losing so fast and at time in a crazy way I didn't learn nothing.
So I had a backslide and major backslide.
But you know what is the great thing, I have learned over the years, through the experiences so much about myself and this disease. I could have a PhD in the subject. Not only that the Miracle is that I am here to talk to you (write) about it. Life is a wonderful thing and each day that we get to open our eyes is an opportunity to make great things happen. They do not have to be spectacular production things but still they can be great. Has great as making you or someone else smile.
Sal You have a special day
Love ya
Mike
Dear Lauren
You too deserve to be on that podium with me getting one of those medals. The reason is because you are trying and that is beautiful. You keep smiling. Even at first if you find yourself forcing that smile, eventually it will become a more natural thing. Does it mean you never frown, cry etc.? Of course not but the rest of the time you realize a "smile" is a powerful thing. It sets off all kinds of good feelings and things.
So Lauren try to stay positive and remember as long as you try you will never fail!
Love'
Mike
Dear dear Teri
"Dear Abbey" I am not! It has been a long time since I was out there looking for companionship but I remember when I look back is this. It was the 60's 70's when I was out there. tight bell bottoms the guys were wearing, tight tee shirts showing off their muscles and all that. I was 400 pounds and did not look like John Travolta. I hung out with my friends who did but it was not me. I had two choices. Stay in my house, in my room, be miserable, more lonely than I was, and depressed even more that I was. OR Dress up as nice as I could and get out there and play.
I chose to play. There were times my weight was certainly brought to my attention but for the most part I had fun. My close friend were great and we laughed and went all over and yes I even had girlfriends. My little black book was never full but I always seemed to have a girlfriend. Until 1974 when the girl of who I loved since I was 13 years old said "YES". The beginning of the luckiest days of my life!
So Teri what am I telling you. I don't know how to tell you to start loving yourself. All I am saying you have to love and care about yourself today so that you can do the things you need to do to make the changes necessary.
The next thing is go out and have fun! Enjoy life. Dress up, fix your hair a little make up and go out and have fun! If by some chance you meet someone well that is okay too but go out with the idea of you are going to enjoy your life today! No matter what shape you are in.
Remember this Teri, you do not have to like the "Packaging" but you have to like the "Ingredients".
Once you like the ingredients you can and will always change the packaging
Enjoy Teri
Keep in Touch and hurray 14 pounds!! GREAT!
Love ya
Mike
Dear Joseph
I too am glad I am alive.
I am honored that you enjoy this blog and has you read on I hope you continue to find it inspirational.
Please keep in touch and let me hear from you.
Have a great day
Love
Mike
Dear Mike
Thanks for your time ans answering me. You are a kind man.
Lauren
Michael
I enjoy this blog. Just wanted to share with you a few things. Since I have been reading your blog I have started the k.i.s.t. way and have lost 27 pounds in 11 weeks. More important I am satisfied and not wanting for anything. Do you have any recipes to share.
In addition I been working on my smiling and the things that are important to me.
Thanks for helping me get on the right track.
Harriet S.
Michael
What is Important is so on! You have got the right idea and I have to re-evaluate my priorities. I am so material orientated that I lose myself all the time.
Well thank you so much and if I may I will Love to keep in touch with you and your blog.
Carla Taylor
Dear Harriet
I am thrilled to hear that you are doing things to help yourself ...like smiling more. Twenty-seven pounds is very nice too, congratulations.
I will be sharing recipes probably in the future in a newsletter so drop me your email and I will email you copies when they come out. We will also have a section to share recipes so it should be helpful.
Keep me up to date about those smiles
Love
Mike
Dear Carla
It will be my pleasure to keep hearing from you. As for what is important to you, it sounds like you are on the right road. Continue to work at it, we all get a little material orientated, it is easy in today's world. You will be fine
Love ya
Mike
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