Friday, July 18, 2008

Not such good choices …

Often people ask me (or write me) “Mike I had a bad day, what do I do”, “Mike, I have been cheating, and I can not stop”, or “Mike, I “screwed” up and I can not believe it, how do I get back on track’?

What can I say? In life, in general there will be choices that we make sometimes that will not always turn out to be the smartest choices, especially when we get the chance to look back at them. So, what do we do?

We are not going to shoot ourselves, jump out windows, life is too precious, too beautiful, too valuable to do harm to ourselves. Whether it be something as drastic as physical harm or as painful as emotional harm, we cannot look back at our mistakes with the purpose to punish ourselves in anyway.

Mistakes will happen, and then these become opportunities to learn… healthy lessons and then … go on from there. I think the sooner most of us realize that we are human (and being human we will make mistakes) the sooner we will all be better off. Some of us are too hard on ourselves and we raise the bar to levels that at times are unreachable.

It is nice to set goals but along that journey, we need to plan for the bumps in the road!

In my life, I am an addict when it comes to food. I have been an addicted to food for more years than I am even conscious of. I do not have to tell anyone that I have made many “not so good choices”. Ones that have almost cost me my life both literally and certainly lifestyle wise. I have “dieted” off more pounds probably than any living human being on this planet has. I have also made some of the worse choices than many poor souls, choices that have cost me and set me back thousands of steps.

Yet I stand (sit) here today and tell you that I am a happy, grateful man. A man, who loves life, loves his family and friends and even more so, loves himself. I cannot (I will not) allow myself to “punish” me, beat myself up for all the times that I attempted (successfully at times) to do the correct thing.

No, I have to deal with today. Today I have to do it for me. I have K.I.S.T. (Keep It Simple Today)! I am enjoying this day, loving my experience, dealing with the moment.

I had a friend recently get in touch with me in despair. They had been taking care of themselves with some good results (those stupid numbers on the scale were falling). Suddenly they had a “Bad Day” and were eating all day. They told me nothing was going on in their life (negatively) at the time, actually, they were happy. Yet they were surprised (or annoyed) that they still had the “disease”, even after all their success.

The fact is our disease (of addiction) is not going anywhere. It is here to stay and the best we can hope for is to have it under control some times (most times hopefully). Okay, that is it. It took me a long time to realize this, that "I will never be cured"!
I am not going to go around feeling sorry for myself because the fact is out of all the diseases in the world, I (we) could have worse!

My main concern with my friend was that the one day was not going to be permission to beat themselves up and have another bad day and another and another etc! That is often what we do! Remember, no one meal, no one day puts on thirty pounds, or a hundred pounds, or three hundred pounds. That takes time and choice after choice!

Stop! Catch yourself! Brush yourself off! Most importantly is “Forgive” yourself! Go on to the next healthy choice!

I was in sales for many years and they use to say, “You were as only good as your last sale”. Well your last choice you made in life, whether it was a good one or a “not so good” one was in the past.
The choice that counts now, is the one you make right now!

Let us make the rest of this day count and mark it off in our books as a great finish to a wonderful day!

You my friends have a special day, may it be filled with the joy of nature and the well-being of you working on you!

Remember you are perfect and sometimes you might make a mistake …so what …. Go on!

Take care, smile and be well ….

Love
Mike

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow
I just happen to visit this blog and man did this hit home! Thank you Mike for telling it like it is and helping me get things in order!
Lydia

Anonymous said...

Arent we all so good at beating ourselves up when we mess up.....in our minds its like ok well i screwed this meal up i might as well have the next and tomorrow will start again....i know i have said that to myself many times but the reality is tomorrow is the NOW because tomorrow never really comes.....i know for myself i am struggling with the food right now and i know there is nothing going on in my life that would make me turn to the food it is just me...but it is a matter of forgiving myself for what i did and sometimes in my mind i wonder if i need to forgive myself or just move on...what is the hard part...because im so good at beating me up .....but i know each day i get up with the fight in me and i try to go to bed each night with ok tomorrow will be better....but i know one day i will go to bed and say its ok just keep fighting and one day it will all be ok....but for now i get up i stretch rub my eyes and start my day ....and keep in my mind that today will be better then yesterday....hugggssssssssssssss and kisses to all
Carol

Anonymous said...

Hi
My name is Carol also and I have been following this web page for quite a while now. I have to say that I relate to what this other Carol is saying. I too am having problems with my food and I don't know why. Right now my life is okay but I am just eating and I can't get that control back.
I too say each night tomorrow will be the day and I think all i keep doing is beat myself up.
I think what Mike says is right on the money, he really knows the inner workings of what is goin on.
I love what he has to say because it is so true. I have tried and with a lot of success some of the things he talks about.
I will forgive myself and I have to start keeping it simple! I am always looking for the best diet cheese cake, or low calorie Pizza and what happens is I make it and eat it all. No I too have to keep it simple.
Thank you Mike and to my friend with the same name, I believe we will be okay, we have to be. We have such a nice name.
Carol North Dakota

Anonymous said...

Dearest Mike
You bring tears to my eyes each and every time I read Your blog. I know what you have gone through and are still going through. You are amazing and very inspiring. You offer so much of yourself and such wisdom. there are days I have no omph to do anything for myself, then I think of you, I will go to your blog and I just what to fight once again. This I thank you for. My name is Frances and I live in Omaha and I wish that you would write a book so we could know much more about you and your trials.
Thank you for what you do
A friend
Fran

David said...

God Bless you Mike. This Blog always gets me motivated to enjoy life.

Anonymous said...

I find that this blog is helpful not only with my weight loss but in my life in general
Robert

Anonymous said...

Dear Michael
You have helped me so much. I read your K.I.S.T. blog and it hit home and I want you to know since I have followed that method, I have lost 31 pounds. I went from from 231 pounds I now weigh 200 pounds as of this morning. I eat regular food. I want ed to ask you with your K.I.S.T. method what is your feeling about exercise?
I would appreciate your opinion and thank you for this great blog.
Wendy C.

Anonymous said...

Deear Mike
I read your blog daily. I look forward to your new postings and to the comments others make. Now look at this I am one of those others. I especially enjoy when people who know you personally write about you (your friends, family and wife). I want to know more about you. I am not a stalker but I just enjoy what you have to say. Therefore I hope this blof continues and I too will post from time to time.
My name is Elaine and I live in Kansas, I am 41 years old and have been overweight most of my life. I relate to so much of what I read on this blog. Mike now my struggle, my pain, my fears and I get stronger from your help.
You are sent from above
Love
Elaine

Anonymous said...

Dear Mike
You have been through so much and still have such a positive outlook. It just gives me such hope. I have been working on my weight for many years and I have been following your story now for years. I must admit at times your hope and willingness to carry on as helped me to carry on too. Some day I would be honored to meet with you and shake your hand.
In the meantime I will continue to read this blog and look wherever I can to read about you.
With great respect
Phillip

Anonymous said...

Hi Mike
Just wanted you to know that you do a great service with this blog. I only wish you had the time to share more often but I will be satisfied with what I get to read. You must be amazing in person? Maybe some day, I will get to meet you. Will you ever be on television again? I think they should interview you more often, how about Oprah, why doesn't she have you on?
Well I have to go now and please keep writing to us.
You help me very much to realize that I am worth the effort as you say.
Jean

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Lydia
You are more than welcome. Just call me the "get things in order man". Seriously Lydia, I appreciate the "kudos" but remember and never forget this ... It is you that has taken the power in your life that has made the changes. Give the credit where credit is due. Oh too often we seem to skip over ourselves and are too willing to give others the credit for what we do.
Lydia, you may have read something that touched a nerve but again you make the changes!
Good luck to you, keep the faith and never give up.
Keep in touch ...
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

My dear Carol
"Get a Pillow"! Beat that up! You are right about a few things (many) things that you wrote about in the comments this time. First and foremost YOU ARE A FIGHTER! You are and always were, so you will never really fail as long as you keep truly and honestly fighting. The other thing that you are right about and this I can say (I am not a shrink but I am a friend who knows you) you are good at beating yourself up. Why? Well I have my opinions but the truth lies within you and you need to seek that out as I have. Which leads to the next thought ....the biggy and that is forgiveness. True forgiveness, deep down , healing kind of forgiveness. One where you get to into the gut and say "I am worth it" and I forgive myself for that and that and yes that ....maybe not that (only kidding). Sometimes you may even need to realize that you may not really need to be forgiving because not everything is your fault but again that is a journey and to quote that lady (remember) it is a "process".
Carol you have walked the road and you need to keep open your eyes, your nid, your heart and let the warmth of life and love in. Love comes in all kinds of shapes, sizes and forms and not necessarily just human love. Love of life and everything about it.
Yes sometimes even the not such nice stuff. You need to look for the beauty, don't linger there, move on and find the nicer things but experience it all. Small steps Carol and make each one count! Start now! Lift up your head move forward leave the past just where it is ....in the past. Live right now and K.I.S.T. Keep It Simple Today! Try not to complicate it, sometimes it will get complicated enough on it's own.
Carol you know I am in your corner and I know you, myself and many of our friends can really make it!
Good night (it is 12:37 am) here where I am and I am going to finish a few more blogs comments and then I will end this beautiful, wonderful day and pray God gives me the opportunity for me to enjoy, play, love and live another day ... and if not, I have been lucky and I am thankful!
Love ya Carol
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Hi Carol from ND
You sound like you are trying hard and that is great! Yes you are right as long as we keep looking for that best diet cheese cake and lo-cal pizza and fat free this and that we can get ourselves in trouble. I can only speak for myself, I am an addict! My problem is once I get started (especially if it taste good) I do not stop until it is finished! Therefore if I bought diet cheese cake I would start with a small piece. Then the rest of that piece, then it's sister peice, and it's brother and cousin until I ate the whole family (the whole cake)! The problem with that is "Diet", Lo-Cal". "Fat-Free" all does not mean calorie free. It still has calories and if I eat the whole thing I am eating alot of calories and excessive calories lead to more body fat. Not to mention that the triggering of my appetite and the guilt of overeating will lead me to eat more and more ....etc!
So Carol from ND keep it simple and be easy on yourself. Be as loving and forgiving to yoruself as I bet you are to so many others in your life!
Hang in ther and keep in touch
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Hey Frances,
Now you stop that crying! I dont want you to have any tears when you read my blog. I want you to smile, laugh, and be happy! Don't worry, be happy, remember that song? Anyway I thank you and I have to tell you we all go through all kinds of trial and that any of us are here, it is a miracle! We are such winners in our own respect. If we could just tap into the self power we have displayed in other areas of our life and then use in the areas where we need to do now ....well, wow!
Yet Fran, You can do it, I know you can. You keep getting up every day and being thankful that you have this shot (so many do not) at making this day special for you!
You desrve it
Let me hear from you again
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Hi Dave
Right back to you both with the blessing and guess what hearing from you motivates me!
Be well
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Robert
Thanks for your comments and good luck on your project...of helping yourself! As you know (no matter how much you need to lose) it is not easy. It is not like just giving up one thing, it is about taking control of your life.
There will be ups and downs but I bet you know that already.
Robert I wish you all the best and let me know how you are doing...take care of Robert!
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Well Well Wendy
31 pounds, you go girl! That is great! I am thrilled for you and keep on going, and the K.I.S.T. method will work forever even on the dreaded maintenence.
As for exercise, I believe everyone should do it no matter what size they are, (now remember I am not a doctor). Yet i think no matter what shape you are in you can exercise. Even if you are 1,000 poundsand "near deaths door", been there. Now, Of course you are not going to run a marathon in that shape, but you might be able to lift and arm five times (three times a day, three days a week).
Exercise is an important part of K.I.S.T.. Keeping it simple is not just about food (that is the start) but it also goes into exercise. Keep it simple for you and you limits. Maybe you can do 30 mins on a machine and me I can only go in a pool. We are all different and we are not to over do it but we are to do it!
So Wendy C I hope that answers your question and keep on doing the right thing for you!
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Dear Elaine
I am not sure you ask those friends and family if they will all agree about me being sent from above? The truth as I see it we are all sent from above and we all have a purpose.
Right now it is for you and I to connect adnfor me that seems great!
As far as the blog goes I will try to continue, especially as long as there is an interest. I get a lot more visits on the pages than we get comments, I wish everyone would at least once post a comment and let us know how we are doing and maybe share their story with us.
Hopefully as time goes on.
In the meantime it was great to hear from you Elaine
Good luck
Love
Mike

Mike Hebranko said...

Phillip,
It would be my pleasure to shake your hand and if you wouldn't mind give you a nice hug too!
I hear in your comment about your struggle and I hope and pray you keep on fighting. If i in any way inspire you let it be in that I share with you this. We do not fail if we do not give up!
Phillip keep in touch, if you like email me at michaelhebranko@yahoo.com and let me know how you are doing.
Respectfully
Love
Mike

Anonymous said...

Dear Mike
I can not believe you took the time to respond and you made me laugh. Thank you so much!
I am gooing to try real had and I want you to know that you are one of the reasons that will get me going.
I think I love you, I hope your wife and my husband understand.
Frances

Anonymous said...

Hi
I just wanted to know if you are published anywhere else? I enjoy what you have to say. You have helped me in a lot of ways. I have been inspired by your life and your writings.
Mike keep up the great work. I have one more question, what do you do when you go to parties and events?
Thank you
Pat

Anonymous said...

Dear Mike
How often do you post on this blog?
I love what you write. Some of the articles have been so personal to me. Your one on smiling, until today I try to smile when ever I can. I have been trying your K.I.S.T. method I have lost 18 pounds it is not a lot but I am not starving.
Nights are the hardest times for me.
I look forward to your blog and thank you.
Your devoted friend
Joyce Mo.

SapphyreDreamer said...

We have choices to make every day. Some choices are harder than others. I have the choice to get up and exercise. I keep trying to talk myself out of it because it's boring, I hate it, and I don't want to do it. Then I hear the wheezing in my chest. I see how hard it is to fasten my shoes. I get up and go to the gym. I have the same problem with food. Good for me food isn't as fun or as tasty as bad for me food so choosing to eat it is difficult. But when I choose wisely and stick to my guns I see progress and I feel better. No more acidic stomach, no more staying up nights too bloated to sleep. People have said to me, if you can't resist it don't keep it in your house. I suppose that's good advice, but is it really. Wouldn't it be better to know you have the willpower to resist food around you rather than give in and binge? There will always be tempting, beautiful, wonderful food around me, it's MY CHOICE not to eat it or eat a lot of it. Choices are hard sometimes, but consider the alternative. Brings you around real fast.