I have been having trouble with my heart for years but it has really peaked in the past three months. I could be sitting doing absolutely nothing and all of a sudden I am out of breathe and/or weak as can be. When I found myself not able to walk to the kitchen sink without being short of breathe and/or dizzy and fatigue, well the first thing that came to my mind was I must be gaining weigh, Yet I knew if I was gaining it had to be fluid because it wasn’t food!
When I wet to the doctor and discovered I had lost over 23 pounds since the last visit, I knew something was wrong and I told her (the doctor). She immediately took a cardiogram EKG and after four of them, my every fear came through. She told me I had a serious problem with my heart.
Let me share something with you. All my life doctors have told me that because of my tremendous weight and fluxuation that I should be dead and the only thing keeping me alive is my heart! Now I know that my heart is not too good.
Bottom line is in the first week of July I am scheduled to go through a procedure that they will STOP my heart and then restart it. Now they tell me it will only be stopped for less than a minute. Personally, I do not like the idea of stopping my heart for even a millisecond! They also tell me it is routine, except there are some issues with me. I am 390 pounds and have severe apnea.
The truth is am I nervous …..Yes of course! Do I really think they are not going to be able to restart my heart, of course they are. When my heart is stopped and I see my mom, dad, and nana in the light calling me. I am going to wave to them and say, “Not now I’ll see some other time”!
Yet if by some slim chance that July date is the date that is written in the big book in the sky and it is my last day, how do I look at my life!
I look at my life as a very luck and blessed man. I have been blessed to love and be loved by my family. I am such a lucky man. Yet I would be lying if I did not say I have regrets that I could not be there as I should have been. I was there in many other ways.
I have been so lucky to have met, and communicated with so many thousands and thousands of people.
I have been, touched by some very dear friends, some very close friends.
I have been able to speak out about obesity and have been able to touch some lives and give hope. Do I have more work to do? You bet your bippy I do and I will be doing it.
My dear wife will be with me that day, and I know she will be nervous but wouldn’t dare show me any sign of her nerves (anyone who knows My Matty understands this statement).
I will go through this procedure with flying colors! I do not believe my maker has choosen this way for me to depart.
Therefore, the day will be here very soon, I have to be there very early, go through all kinds of test, and sign all kinds of papers etc, as for me I will take my nervousness and just “Go With The Flow”
Sometimes that is what we have to do, just “go with the flow” and let be what is going to be. Kind of leave it in someone else hands ………Like God!
Love you all now and forever
Mike
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24 comments:
Awe Mike... You have so many more lives to touch darlin'... so I am sure we'll see you after this procedure all rested, perky and with a great story to share! Angels will hold your hand and love you through this Mike, You're greatly loved, protected and in my prayers... May God Bless you, Maddy and all your loved ones Always AND in ALL WAYS!
In peace, love & light... Diana
What does one say to this blog...except that Mike i have known you about 17 years and have watched you go through many times where you should not have made it ...and god never gives us more then we can handle.....and besides your heart is too big for it to be stopped for long...that is one beat that keeps on going.....and i know Madelaine will be there for you and of course joking around with you like she does and smiling and telling you everything will be ok like she has for so many years....but its not your time yet ...nope you have too much work to do and too many things to accomplish....so tell your mom and papi and nana you will be back just not yet....and and since the only one i knew out of there tell that ornery old man papi hello for me ok......just remember mike hold on and keep fighting and with all our support how can you not go on....i love you and giant hugggs for you and love to the family during this time...
Carol
Dear Mike
I don't know you at all but once again you put your life out there, You are amazing I know you are not doing this for the money but to inspire others and this is what you are doing. They told me I have to go through the exact procedure three months ago and I have been avoiding it. Scared for sure, alone, maybe but getting sicker. I read your blog yesterday and called the doctor to schedule the thing. Thank Mike for your bravery.
With much love and respect
Carla
Hey Boot,
Put the smile back on your face and remember God has walked with us ever mile and is watching and caring. You have so much good to offer just trust in God. Nothing is stronger that prayer.
Love me your boot, Mikey Nancy and gaga too.
Mike
You are a lucky guy with a wonderful wife and family
Lisa
Carla,,,,,
I jsut had to say congrats and you will be kept in prayers as you go through this...hold onto your strength and let it carry you through this time
Carol
My name is Randi
I too am going through similar problems as Mike & Carla now both of them have given me the courage to make my appointment too. We will all go through this together.
Thank you Mike for hwlping even in your time pf concern!!
Love
Randi TX
Randi ... I offer up my prayers and support to you .....wht turned out to be a sad blog is showing me that support from others gives us the courage to move on
Carol
Mike
You are dynamic! You give of yourself so much and you have so much love for people. You are a wonderful man. I love this blog sight and I love what I get from it and what support others (like Carol) give to each other.
Thanks Mike
Keep up the great work
Hank IL
Hey Hank since i seen my name mentioned cause i am so nosy lololol......hope that you are doing good and support is very important to make it because we dont want to go through this alone ...hugggsss
Carol
Dear Mike
thoughts and prayers
Love
Rose
Hi Mike
You are such a help to so many of us all over the world and I bet you don't even know it.
My mother has been a fan of yours for so many years. Recently she was sick and we thought we were going to lose her. She kept saying if Michael could do it, I can do it. Well she has recovered and She is doing so much better.
We have a favor to ask you, her birthday is coming in August, you think you could give her a call, it would mean so much to her.
Please let me know and God bless you.
My name is Vera and we Live in the United Kingdom
My dear sweet Yanna
We should all learn a little love from someone like you.
Keep working on the laughter, you laugh so well and you allow so many of us to laugh along with you.
Love you
Mike
My dear Carol
Thanks for your kind words, thoughts and memories. Also thank you for sharing so much with the others too.
As for Poppi I don't expect to talk to him that long other than to say "Poppi I am not staying I have to go back, catch you next time around".
Carol keep working on keeping that light lit!
You on a strong person sometimes many of us are stronger than we think!
Talk to you soon
Love
Mike
Dear Carla
You have touched my heart more than the doctors will in the next few days.
I will keep you in my prayers and don't worry you will be fine. Keep in touch Carla, let me know how you are doing.
Love
Mike
Boot
you know more than anyone how I feel about God and one thing I am sure of is God sent me you!
I prayer for and I thank all the time.
Love you Boot
Boot
Dear Lisa
You said a mouth full!
And spoke such truth
thank you for a great observation.
Please keep in touch
Love
Mike
My friend Randi from Tx
Go for it!!!
Good luck and lets keep in touch!
Love
Mike
Hey Hank
I am glad you enjoy the web site (blog). You are welcome to be here whenever you wish!
Thanky you for you very nice words and let's keep in touch
Mike
Thank you Sweet Rose
Dear Vera
It would be my pleasure no my honor to call your mom. Email me at michaelhebranko@yahoo.com and we will get the date, name and number.
Thank God she is feeling better
Love
Mike
Well shoot Mike... Doggone it now, you've made me cry (and smile)... I can't teach anyone about love because I'm still learning myself. I can only say that I couldn't love as hard and as big as I do now if I had given "hate" anymore time of day (or night)... I've taken that word, along with many others, out of my vocabulary.
All you people out there who thought it important enough to reach out and express yourselves here in this blog really ROCK!! It's awesome to see so many lives touching other lives, giving courage where none was to be found, lending an ear, a helping hand, sharing life stories and so much more... Thank you so much Mike for this forum to do so!
Blessings and nothing but love to all!
In peace, love & light... Diana
Hi Mike
You and your blog is a special place to be. Thank you for your time, sharing and for all these people to give of themselves. Mike you have been such and inspiration, thank you. God bless you, your family and fellow bloggers.
Dee Ws
Mike, you're in my thoughts and prayers.
You're a very brave person, and you express yourself so well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
Emma :D
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