I truly appreciate the reason for this season and it never leaves my heart or mind.
Yet to so many of us “gift giving and receiving” has become such a big part of these holidays. What is the perfect gift? Think about it!
Well if I ask my three-year-old, grandson it could be anything from “Transformers”, to Batman, Pirates or the last thing he has seen on Television or in the aisles of the toy stores. Why not, he is three and if Christmas is not about children and babies and new and young lives, then what is it about? As a grandpa there is no immediate better gift I can receive than seeing your grandchild or child happy. So for kids, give them things and they are thrilled.
Then if you ask almost any person who has battled with and who has suffered from obesity they will tell you that, “The perfect gift would be to be thin and look like (this movie star or personality). I want to have a beautiful body forever and not have to worry about gaining weight”. Now now you know that this is a true wish’s of so many. We look for that perfect image rather than a lifestyle. This is often why many of us fall short of our dreams.
Some of us want things! Real material like things. As we get older, the list of the kind of things we want may change. For example; First it is toys, such as dolls, G.I. Joe’s, Tinker Toys, Slinky. Then we get a little older and we want games. Games such as, “Mystery Date”, “Monopoly”, “Stratego”, Chess and the list goes on. We become teenagers and maybe we might add to our list of the “Perfect Gifts”; the “Girl on the next block”; or the “Boy next door”. When we get older the list gets more serious. We want Cars, houses, diamonds, trips all kinds of Things, Things Things!!
One of the “things” on my Christmas list is this “Teeth Whitening” system. My wife wraps it up for me and on Christmas, I open it in front of my family and I make a big fuss over it. I then realize everyone around me is laughing, why you may ask? The reason is that this is the same exact gift she gave me last year, and the year before that, and the year before that and so on, for the past ten years. I keep asking for this same gift, I get it, never use it, she puts it aside until next year and I forget about it and she “re-gifts” it to me over and over again.
Things! You want them, sometimes you get them, you might even use them, sometimes you do not use them. They may wear down, you may get bored with it, it might break or become out dated. They are just things. The point is, as we get older, how many “things” do we need?
Rarely by Christmas, do I really need anything, that I have not gotten by then. Now, do not get me wrong. I love to give gifts! I love to give gifts, to people I love. To my grandchild, oh to see his face, to see his joy and hear his excitement is priceless.
I love to give to those who may be in need this year (to charities). I enjoy giving to my family, my son and daughter in law, my wife, my friends.
This is how I get my gifts, by bringing a smile to someone’s face...but I do have a “Perfect Gift” list.
The perfect gift(s) for me this year? I will tell you.
First (I know it sounds corny) is ‘World Peace’. Call me selfish but I want to see the people of the world to be able to live together and in harmony. I want people to be able to travel and to be able to go shopping, without worrying, about being blown up. I want to see countries live as neighbors, as they should.
Then my next perfect gift would be health! The gift of health to my wife, to my daughter in law, my son, my grandson and whoever ever may come into my immediate family in the near future.
I want good health for my mother in law, and the rest of my family and friends. Right now, I want a little extra special gift of health to a very dear special friend of ours, who needs it and I believe will get it.
Another perfect gift for me of course would be for me this year to be able to continue in personal growth and once again newfound freedom. My ability to go out in public. To be able to accompany my wife occasionally and to participate in life and basically be a player once again rather than a spectator. I want to be able to continue to face my demons head on (food and other demons) and often, very often come out victorious.
My last gift on my “Perfect Gift List” this year would be serenity! A continued growth of serenity in my overall being. Serenity around me and in the lives of people that matter so much to me. Serenity in the Universe, in my Universe. Serenity is followed by a certain special happiness and happiness is very nice. .
So there it is! That is my personal, “Gift List” my so called, “Wish List”. So if you see these gifts “on line” or on special at Wal-Mart or Target, just drop me a note.
Gifts are nice to give and receive and it is fun to share in the joy of giving and receiving. Yet in my opinion, the best gifts are not physical things you can buy in a store.
The best gifts …you get from special places.
You now know what my four perfect gifts are. What about you?
What are your perfect gifts? Share your thoughts with us …
To all my dear special friends who visit this blog page
Please have a joyful, peaceful, fun filled, happy and healthy holiday and New Year
Love to you and your loved ones
Mike
Friday, December 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Holidays
I received an email the other day from a wonderful woman who has recently lost well over 100 pounds. She had written to me that she has been having a little problem lately (as many of us could certainly relate too). I wrote back to her and tried to encourage her to keep going, what was happening to her was a normal thing and this is the time not to fall deeper into negative state of mind. My friend then in return, wrote back to me, she said that she was “under a lot of stress in her life right now and that she would start after the holidays and begin with a “New”, New Years Resolution”! Oh! I felt an arrow go right through my heart as I read those words!
It sounded so familiar, I have heard that from so many people over the years and even worse, I have told myself that exact thing several years over my life.
Do you know how much damage I can do to myself from now until January 1st? Do you know how many pounds and inches I could add to my body, how much pressure to my heart, legs, and organs, I could place on myself? How much overall damage I can do to my health in general? Do we have any idea any much weight is gained over this period of time with that kind of thinking?
That kind of thinking, in my opinion, is the “Disease Talking”. That is the sick part of our brain, giving us permission, rationalizing with us to wait. Sure, my dear friend (who emailed me) has stress in her life and I certainly know when there is stress the last thing you feel like doing is eating healthy. Yet when we start rationalizing and giving ourselves permission to not pay attention to what we eat and just eat without boundaries, well then we are in trouble! It is going to take a lot of energy and maybe a tragedy to get back on track. Besides if, we wait for a stress free life….. Well when will that be?
My friends the Holidays are great times and they should be but they are actually only three or 4 days and maybe a party thrown in here or there. Six days is not 40 days or 25 days of uncontrolled eating. Part of your celebration, of your holidays may be with some traditional (fattening) dishes. Okay, eat some, have a taste, a normal portion. The trick is just for that day!
Do not celebrate the holidays with the leftovers for the next 6 weeks and then suffer for the rest of the year trying to undo the damage.
Besides, if you plan you actual days meals (with the extras) and you stick to it pretty much (and if need be include your sweets) then two things will happen.
First of all, you are almost taking out insurance that you will have a good chance of being around next year to enjoy it all over again.
The second thing is an immediate HIGH! You will feel so much better with yourself the next day when you have stuck to your plan.
Then come January 2nd when the whole world gains 20 to 100 pounds you may actually gain less or maybe even nothing! WOW, can you imagine that!
What better gift can you give yourself than that! Do you not deserve it? I think so!
Therefore, make this Holiday a real special one for you.
I wish you and all your loved ones all the best, I will have you in my prayers and please keep me in yours.
Love
Mike
Ps
If for some reasons one of your plans do not work out one day (one meal), do not give up! Do not wait another month another day! Make a new plan and stick to it! You can do it!
You are a winner!
It sounded so familiar, I have heard that from so many people over the years and even worse, I have told myself that exact thing several years over my life.
Do you know how much damage I can do to myself from now until January 1st? Do you know how many pounds and inches I could add to my body, how much pressure to my heart, legs, and organs, I could place on myself? How much overall damage I can do to my health in general? Do we have any idea any much weight is gained over this period of time with that kind of thinking?
That kind of thinking, in my opinion, is the “Disease Talking”. That is the sick part of our brain, giving us permission, rationalizing with us to wait. Sure, my dear friend (who emailed me) has stress in her life and I certainly know when there is stress the last thing you feel like doing is eating healthy. Yet when we start rationalizing and giving ourselves permission to not pay attention to what we eat and just eat without boundaries, well then we are in trouble! It is going to take a lot of energy and maybe a tragedy to get back on track. Besides if, we wait for a stress free life….. Well when will that be?
My friends the Holidays are great times and they should be but they are actually only three or 4 days and maybe a party thrown in here or there. Six days is not 40 days or 25 days of uncontrolled eating. Part of your celebration, of your holidays may be with some traditional (fattening) dishes. Okay, eat some, have a taste, a normal portion. The trick is just for that day!
Do not celebrate the holidays with the leftovers for the next 6 weeks and then suffer for the rest of the year trying to undo the damage.
Besides, if you plan you actual days meals (with the extras) and you stick to it pretty much (and if need be include your sweets) then two things will happen.
First of all, you are almost taking out insurance that you will have a good chance of being around next year to enjoy it all over again.
The second thing is an immediate HIGH! You will feel so much better with yourself the next day when you have stuck to your plan.
Then come January 2nd when the whole world gains 20 to 100 pounds you may actually gain less or maybe even nothing! WOW, can you imagine that!
What better gift can you give yourself than that! Do you not deserve it? I think so!
Therefore, make this Holiday a real special one for you.
I wish you and all your loved ones all the best, I will have you in my prayers and please keep me in yours.
Love
Mike
Ps
If for some reasons one of your plans do not work out one day (one meal), do not give up! Do not wait another month another day! Make a new plan and stick to it! You can do it!
You are a winner!
Friday, November 7, 2008
The Happiest Moment In My Life …
Over the past few days (since Election Day), I have heard this expression all over the News and from many of my friends. “It was the happiest moment in my life”! I too have to admit that no matter what my political belief might be, no matter whether I am a Democrat, Republican, Independent, etc. That at 11pm eastern standard time on election night, when Barack Obama, was declared the winner and the 44th President elect of the United States of America a “certain feeling” came over me. I was proud to see that America was able to look beyond and be able to judge “by the content of ones character …”, for me it was an emotional moment. I could understand the feeling of so many Americans who were filled with such pride and a feeling of accomplishment and a kind of completion of centuries of hardships and battles. So many of them, saying that this is, “The Happiest Moment of Their Lives”.
I began to think about that, what was the happiest moment in my life? The truth, is there is something wrong with me but I cannot pick just one. It changes, some even overlap others …for example.
I would say the first happiest moment in my life is probably one I do not remember. That would be the day I was born and the moment the doctor smacked my “Butt” and I began to cry. I took my first breath and wow even though I was crying I was thrilled to be alive. This was a happy moment!
The next happiest moment of my life came when I was 16 years old (just before my 17th birthday), I came home from school and my Mom was holding the mail in her hand (of course it was opened, there was no privacy under her roof), there it was, I passed my road test and I got my drivers license. I was so excited that I yelled out something like, “Oh sh_t”! The one and only time my Mom ever heard me say any off words! She was sure to remark about it later that day!
Okay going on through my life I would have to say the next happiest moment in my life was the moment that my Madelaine said, “yes, we should get married”! I was driving my car at the time and I had to stop it. I got out and I literally danced around outside in joy! This is one of those moments that have not stopped giving. One happiness has led to another!
For example, the next happiest moment in my life is when my wife broke the news to me that I was going to be a “Daddy”. Me, a father, could you imagine that. Then ….
My next happiest moment is …you guessed it, the moment my son was born. I held this little life in my arms, part of me, I was responsible for him and it was all my pleasure. The joy was overwhelming, my emotions, were uncontrollable. This was the beginning of a lifelong love festival that to this day (31 years later) has not stopped. I am sure at times if my son had his way he would say “Da, back off a bit”! I am so bad, I smother him sometimes, I know. His whole life brought me so many happy days and then approximately 27 years after his birth …
BOOM! Another happy moment for me!
The birth of my Lil Ga Ga (my grandson). I do not know if it is that I am older and I appreciate things more but the day he was born was thrilling. Then the first day I saw him and now every single time I see him is my happiest moment. I just saw him dressed in a pair of “little devil” pajamas and Oh my goodness. All I could say is, if the “Devil” were so cute, the world would be a much better place.
My grandson brings me such joy and I am so happy that I have had this opportunity to be in the world this very moment.
So, I wish the current President Elect all the best of luck and I hope he has all of our best wishes and prayers. Whoever would have won would have had a tough job ahead of them. There are rough days ahead and President Barack will need all our support right now.
As for me, I am grateful for the elections, it has given me an opportunity to take a look at my “happiest moments in my life” and how lucky I really am.
I look at my luckiest moments from a personal perspective and
Although I do not consider Tuesday as my luckiest moment of my life, it certainly has made me feel lucky to be an American.
By the way, when were your happiest moments?
Share some with us
Have a great day
Have a happy moment
Love
Mike
I began to think about that, what was the happiest moment in my life? The truth, is there is something wrong with me but I cannot pick just one. It changes, some even overlap others …for example.
I would say the first happiest moment in my life is probably one I do not remember. That would be the day I was born and the moment the doctor smacked my “Butt” and I began to cry. I took my first breath and wow even though I was crying I was thrilled to be alive. This was a happy moment!
The next happiest moment of my life came when I was 16 years old (just before my 17th birthday), I came home from school and my Mom was holding the mail in her hand (of course it was opened, there was no privacy under her roof), there it was, I passed my road test and I got my drivers license. I was so excited that I yelled out something like, “Oh sh_t”! The one and only time my Mom ever heard me say any off words! She was sure to remark about it later that day!
Okay going on through my life I would have to say the next happiest moment in my life was the moment that my Madelaine said, “yes, we should get married”! I was driving my car at the time and I had to stop it. I got out and I literally danced around outside in joy! This is one of those moments that have not stopped giving. One happiness has led to another!
For example, the next happiest moment in my life is when my wife broke the news to me that I was going to be a “Daddy”. Me, a father, could you imagine that. Then ….
My next happiest moment is …you guessed it, the moment my son was born. I held this little life in my arms, part of me, I was responsible for him and it was all my pleasure. The joy was overwhelming, my emotions, were uncontrollable. This was the beginning of a lifelong love festival that to this day (31 years later) has not stopped. I am sure at times if my son had his way he would say “Da, back off a bit”! I am so bad, I smother him sometimes, I know. His whole life brought me so many happy days and then approximately 27 years after his birth …
BOOM! Another happy moment for me!
The birth of my Lil Ga Ga (my grandson). I do not know if it is that I am older and I appreciate things more but the day he was born was thrilling. Then the first day I saw him and now every single time I see him is my happiest moment. I just saw him dressed in a pair of “little devil” pajamas and Oh my goodness. All I could say is, if the “Devil” were so cute, the world would be a much better place.
My grandson brings me such joy and I am so happy that I have had this opportunity to be in the world this very moment.
So, I wish the current President Elect all the best of luck and I hope he has all of our best wishes and prayers. Whoever would have won would have had a tough job ahead of them. There are rough days ahead and President Barack will need all our support right now.
As for me, I am grateful for the elections, it has given me an opportunity to take a look at my “happiest moments in my life” and how lucky I really am.
I look at my luckiest moments from a personal perspective and
Although I do not consider Tuesday as my luckiest moment of my life, it certainly has made me feel lucky to be an American.
By the way, when were your happiest moments?
Share some with us
Have a great day
Have a happy moment
Love
Mike
Thursday, October 30, 2008
WHEN IS THE TIME FOR CHANGE?
There is no better time than NOW! Does that sound cliché’, it might but sometimes the simplest. the obvious… is the best!
People have emailed me and often have asked, “Mike, how did you know, when the time was right”? “When do you start? I think I will start tomorrow”? They will say.
Well in my experience, those tomorrows rarely start 24 hours from then. Usually they start a week later, a month later, several months later and often 20, 50 or 100 pounds later. Therefore, the battle is that much more difficult, the guilt is that much deeper and our health is that much more at risk.
When is the time for change? Well when the change that one is thinking about is taking care of themselves, eating healthier, doing more physical activity for the betterment of their lives, then what better time is there than NOW!
What is the delay? Oh, I have said it all and rationalized it all to myself, and others. Things such as, “I have been eating terrible all day, so I will start tomorrow. Before I begin I have to first eat some of my favorite cake, or pizza etc”. What about this one, “oh the holidays are coming (next month), I will start after them”.
Do I have to tell anyone how much damage I can do to myself from now until the holidays, do not even ask! These are just excuses that I have used. What I should have said in the past was, “I am not ready yet. I am scared! I do not have the faith in myself. I do not have the strength right now to try again”! At least these would have been more honest. At least with those answers there would be a little less guilt attached.
When is the right time for the battle of your lifetime? Well, if we wait, for every “duck” to be in line, and for “the moon to be in the seventh house”, then for Jupiter to align with Mars. If we wait, for the sun to be shinning, and for everything to be just “perfect”, before we begin dieting, well, and then guess what? We might as well take those first three letters in the word “Diet” …because that is what is going to happen a lot sooner. We cannot wait no longer! NOW is the time!
The truth is we can take this philosophy of “NOW” and apply to many things in our lives and not just eating healthier. Sometimes as human beings, we think things out tooooo long!
Do not get me wrong, the thought process is a good one, it is healthy and necessary but we have to know when we have to stop thinking and begin doing!
When, it comes to our health and making changes in our life, our lifestyle, and our eating habits, etc: The time when we are thinking about the question, “When is it a good time? Then the answer is ….NOW is a great time!!
I have become a NOW person over the past few years, when it comes to me. I remember back about three years ago, I had already been out of rehab, for a few months and having problems (with food). I said to me, “self, you are in trouble”.
I thought for a second, “I should be back in rehab.”, and with the support of my wife and family, I went back.
I believe that decision then, is responsible for my current quality of life, which I have Now. Even though, overall my life, is a conglomerate of positive attitudes, decisions, luck, support and blessings, that particular decision then, has been a key one for me Now!
I know if I would have procrastinated and thought about going back into rehab over a period of time. I would have had many more months pass under my belt along with many more pounds, added on my waist and who knows if I would have even lived throughout that “thought process”.
The things I would have missed. This renewed time with my wife (who is my best life-long friend and soul mate) has been enchanting. I wait each day for her to come home from work, even if it is to just to look in her eyes for a few moments, share some words of each of our day’s events and then watch a little television together. The things we are able to do together once again. If I did react to my thoughts then at the moment, I may not have gotten to enjoy my grandson as “Captain Hook”, “Dracula”, “Woody” or “Peter Pan” whom ever he may finally decide to be for this Halloween. My daughter in law is so good with him, she is so clever, and when it comes to these costumes, she puts her personal touch, he looks so authentic, and needless to say, so adorable, I could just “eat him up”!
I laugh, when I was a kid, if I was lucky enough to have an official costume, it was one of those “Ben Cooper” brand skeleton, devil, super hero costumes and we only had one. I hated them, oh, man! I was too big and the seams would rip usually as soon as I put them on. Then the elastic band around the mask would always snap because my head was too big. Yet I loved trick or treating ….free candy. In the fifties and sixties our parents did not have to screen our candy, we were allowed it all, and the pennies went to UNICEF!
If I procrastinated my decision to return to rehabilitation, I would have missed so much life, so much love, and so much fun. There would have been no Disney, this past month. No holidays, I would have missed my grandson’s birthday or my son reaching his 30th birthday and then some.
No, I spent many hours, many days, many months and years, thinking about it!
The thing that changed my life was my thought process and that was …
When the thought came to me, it was the time to react!
So when is the time for change in your life?… HOW ABOUT NOW!?
Change is good ….for the most part.
Good luck and have a great day and never stay in one place….
Love
Mike
Ps
Share some of your thoughts and experiences on change with us; we would love to hear from you.
People have emailed me and often have asked, “Mike, how did you know, when the time was right”? “When do you start? I think I will start tomorrow”? They will say.
Well in my experience, those tomorrows rarely start 24 hours from then. Usually they start a week later, a month later, several months later and often 20, 50 or 100 pounds later. Therefore, the battle is that much more difficult, the guilt is that much deeper and our health is that much more at risk.
When is the time for change? Well when the change that one is thinking about is taking care of themselves, eating healthier, doing more physical activity for the betterment of their lives, then what better time is there than NOW!
What is the delay? Oh, I have said it all and rationalized it all to myself, and others. Things such as, “I have been eating terrible all day, so I will start tomorrow. Before I begin I have to first eat some of my favorite cake, or pizza etc”. What about this one, “oh the holidays are coming (next month), I will start after them”.
Do I have to tell anyone how much damage I can do to myself from now until the holidays, do not even ask! These are just excuses that I have used. What I should have said in the past was, “I am not ready yet. I am scared! I do not have the faith in myself. I do not have the strength right now to try again”! At least these would have been more honest. At least with those answers there would be a little less guilt attached.
When is the right time for the battle of your lifetime? Well, if we wait, for every “duck” to be in line, and for “the moon to be in the seventh house”, then for Jupiter to align with Mars. If we wait, for the sun to be shinning, and for everything to be just “perfect”, before we begin dieting, well, and then guess what? We might as well take those first three letters in the word “Diet” …because that is what is going to happen a lot sooner. We cannot wait no longer! NOW is the time!
The truth is we can take this philosophy of “NOW” and apply to many things in our lives and not just eating healthier. Sometimes as human beings, we think things out tooooo long!
Do not get me wrong, the thought process is a good one, it is healthy and necessary but we have to know when we have to stop thinking and begin doing!
When, it comes to our health and making changes in our life, our lifestyle, and our eating habits, etc: The time when we are thinking about the question, “When is it a good time? Then the answer is ….NOW is a great time!!
I have become a NOW person over the past few years, when it comes to me. I remember back about three years ago, I had already been out of rehab, for a few months and having problems (with food). I said to me, “self, you are in trouble”.
I thought for a second, “I should be back in rehab.”, and with the support of my wife and family, I went back.
I believe that decision then, is responsible for my current quality of life, which I have Now. Even though, overall my life, is a conglomerate of positive attitudes, decisions, luck, support and blessings, that particular decision then, has been a key one for me Now!
I know if I would have procrastinated and thought about going back into rehab over a period of time. I would have had many more months pass under my belt along with many more pounds, added on my waist and who knows if I would have even lived throughout that “thought process”.
The things I would have missed. This renewed time with my wife (who is my best life-long friend and soul mate) has been enchanting. I wait each day for her to come home from work, even if it is to just to look in her eyes for a few moments, share some words of each of our day’s events and then watch a little television together. The things we are able to do together once again. If I did react to my thoughts then at the moment, I may not have gotten to enjoy my grandson as “Captain Hook”, “Dracula”, “Woody” or “Peter Pan” whom ever he may finally decide to be for this Halloween. My daughter in law is so good with him, she is so clever, and when it comes to these costumes, she puts her personal touch, he looks so authentic, and needless to say, so adorable, I could just “eat him up”!
I laugh, when I was a kid, if I was lucky enough to have an official costume, it was one of those “Ben Cooper” brand skeleton, devil, super hero costumes and we only had one. I hated them, oh, man! I was too big and the seams would rip usually as soon as I put them on. Then the elastic band around the mask would always snap because my head was too big. Yet I loved trick or treating ….free candy. In the fifties and sixties our parents did not have to screen our candy, we were allowed it all, and the pennies went to UNICEF!
If I procrastinated my decision to return to rehabilitation, I would have missed so much life, so much love, and so much fun. There would have been no Disney, this past month. No holidays, I would have missed my grandson’s birthday or my son reaching his 30th birthday and then some.
No, I spent many hours, many days, many months and years, thinking about it!
The thing that changed my life was my thought process and that was …
When the thought came to me, it was the time to react!
So when is the time for change in your life?… HOW ABOUT NOW!?
Change is good ….for the most part.
Good luck and have a great day and never stay in one place….
Love
Mike
Ps
Share some of your thoughts and experiences on change with us; we would love to hear from you.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
A Whole New World
There is that beautiful Disney song from Aladdin that goes “I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder, over, sideways and under, on a Magic Carpet Ride …..”
Well over the last eight days’ I was taken on a “Magic Carpet” ride! I experienced a phenomenal, magical, miraculous event. Let me put it this way in one word ….”Disney”! Me, Mike Hebranko, talk about dreams, all things possible. I went onto a jet plane and flew two and a half hours to the “Disney World”.
Imagine, just a little over 12 years ago I was being lifted (by forklift) out of the “cut out front” of my home in Brooklyn, being rushed to a hospital to save my life. At over 900 pounds then was there even a thought of a future vacation in my mind…….I am not sure of vacation was on my mind but a future was definitely in my heart. No matter what 12 years later I was now, being lifted once again (only this time with 150 other people) on a jet and heading to Florida.
It was so special and delightful. My emotions were on overtime from the get go! I was experiencing joy, happiness, pleasure, love, fun, some fear, anxiety and much thankfulness! My wife and I were blessed enough to accompany my son, his dear wife, some other family and friends and “My Grandson”!!! Oh even in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined (12 years ago or 12 months ago) that I would be at “Disney” with my grandson!
What better pleasure could there be than to see the “love of your life’s” face, light up with every new turn, with every attraction, or every character they came across. To go to “Disney” at 55 years old is a youthful, invigorating time but then to go with your grandchild is heavenly. To see his eyes, his face, to know his heart is filled with just joy is very soothing and euphoric.
If I would have given up in 1996, or not re-entered rehab in 2006 or not picked myself up each time I have fallen. If I would have gotten so fed up with myself to say “the heck” with it all and just “throw in the towel” and had given up…well just look at what I would have missed.
It was not easy for me to have this vacation happen. I am still over 350 pounds and limited in my physical movement. As many of you know, I am a very lucky and a very blessed man! I have a great support team around me.
There was a group of us on this vacation ranging in age from three to 83 years old.
The logistics of planning and arranging for everything and in particular for my special needs was gigantic and an almost an impossible task. That is why I want to publicly (I have privately already) thank my wife, and family, for all their help and assistance. A special mention, to my son, for all of his attention and help that he gave to me. Then to my sister-in-law, who was key in making this trip happen and for all her kindness and a very warm heart. Then to a very special friend who has gone beyond for all of us and especially for me. Susan along with Andrea, spent months planning, making calls, reservations, arranging for my special scooter, handicap room, plane accommodations and so many other details, I personally will always and forever be thankful for them being such an intricate part of my “dream come true”. Neither of these two young people are my blood relatives but they did so much for me and put up with so much from me. They give so much and get so little in return ….Andrea thanks ……Susan, what can I say but that I am grateful and if I at anytime might have seemed unappreciative please forgive me!
The world has changed and it has been a long time since I was out there and part of this “Whole New World”. It is different. I am not use to all of it. Sometimes I literally feel as if I came from a different planet. Sometimes it is a little overwhelming. Sometimes it can be a little scary. Things are done differently, faster. There are times as if I felt I was “Rip Van Winkle” ….well all I can do, all I will do is rub my eyes, stretch my arms, wake up and be thankful that I am getting the opportunity to be part of this world!
I played with my grandson, I went on rides, and I saw Mickey, kissed Minnie, hugged Pluto and took a million pictures. We ate at different restaurants and I ate normally. I did not binge, I did not stuff, I made many healthy choices for example 99% of my dessert choices were fresh fruit, I ate a lot of turkey and chicken but I was relaxed. I was not crazy about what I was gong to eat or not gong to eat. “Where would I cheat”, how would I do it, etc? In the past while I was away this would always a big part of my time. This time I went with the crowd.
Oh, I will not be true to you or myself, if I do not tell you that I fought many internal battles while away and yes, I noticed every food stand along the way… but it was okay. I allowed my feelings to surface, the battles I took on and I was victorious. At times, there might have been a few casualties along the way (for example: my friends and family). I realize when I am fighting one of these internal battles, if sometimes a poor, innocent person crosses my path, they can unknowingly fall victim to my internal rage. I know this is wrong behavior and I am working at changing it. I am getting better at it; in the meantime, all I can do is be very sorry for it!
Recovery involves all kinds of experiences both external and internal. Some may be a little ugly but most are glorious and beautiful.
My Disney Magical Experience was full of pleasure. To be with great people and people that I love, to be able to get this chance once again to live again! To see inside the eyes of my grandbaby, while he was hypnotized with fantasy … well I am limited in words to describe how I felt. All I can do is to quote the song from a Disney movie song that says it best …
“Unbelievable sights, indescribable feeling, soaring, tumbling, freewheelingthrough an endless diamond sky. A whole new world. Don't I dare close my eyes. A hundred thousand things to see…
Hold your breath - it gets better.
I'm like a shooting star. I've come so far. I can't go back to where I used to be.
A Whole New World”
My friends join me on my magic carpet ride …Well over the last eight days’ I was taken on a “Magic Carpet” ride! I experienced a phenomenal, magical, miraculous event. Let me put it this way in one word ….”Disney”! Me, Mike Hebranko, talk about dreams, all things possible. I went onto a jet plane and flew two and a half hours to the “Disney World”.
Imagine, just a little over 12 years ago I was being lifted (by forklift) out of the “cut out front” of my home in Brooklyn, being rushed to a hospital to save my life. At over 900 pounds then was there even a thought of a future vacation in my mind…….I am not sure of vacation was on my mind but a future was definitely in my heart. No matter what 12 years later I was now, being lifted once again (only this time with 150 other people) on a jet and heading to Florida.
It was so special and delightful. My emotions were on overtime from the get go! I was experiencing joy, happiness, pleasure, love, fun, some fear, anxiety and much thankfulness! My wife and I were blessed enough to accompany my son, his dear wife, some other family and friends and “My Grandson”!!! Oh even in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined (12 years ago or 12 months ago) that I would be at “Disney” with my grandson!
What better pleasure could there be than to see the “love of your life’s” face, light up with every new turn, with every attraction, or every character they came across. To go to “Disney” at 55 years old is a youthful, invigorating time but then to go with your grandchild is heavenly. To see his eyes, his face, to know his heart is filled with just joy is very soothing and euphoric.
If I would have given up in 1996, or not re-entered rehab in 2006 or not picked myself up each time I have fallen. If I would have gotten so fed up with myself to say “the heck” with it all and just “throw in the towel” and had given up…well just look at what I would have missed.
It was not easy for me to have this vacation happen. I am still over 350 pounds and limited in my physical movement. As many of you know, I am a very lucky and a very blessed man! I have a great support team around me.
There was a group of us on this vacation ranging in age from three to 83 years old.
The logistics of planning and arranging for everything and in particular for my special needs was gigantic and an almost an impossible task. That is why I want to publicly (I have privately already) thank my wife, and family, for all their help and assistance. A special mention, to my son, for all of his attention and help that he gave to me. Then to my sister-in-law, who was key in making this trip happen and for all her kindness and a very warm heart. Then to a very special friend who has gone beyond for all of us and especially for me. Susan along with Andrea, spent months planning, making calls, reservations, arranging for my special scooter, handicap room, plane accommodations and so many other details, I personally will always and forever be thankful for them being such an intricate part of my “dream come true”. Neither of these two young people are my blood relatives but they did so much for me and put up with so much from me. They give so much and get so little in return ….Andrea thanks ……Susan, what can I say but that I am grateful and if I at anytime might have seemed unappreciative please forgive me!
The world has changed and it has been a long time since I was out there and part of this “Whole New World”. It is different. I am not use to all of it. Sometimes I literally feel as if I came from a different planet. Sometimes it is a little overwhelming. Sometimes it can be a little scary. Things are done differently, faster. There are times as if I felt I was “Rip Van Winkle” ….well all I can do, all I will do is rub my eyes, stretch my arms, wake up and be thankful that I am getting the opportunity to be part of this world!
I played with my grandson, I went on rides, and I saw Mickey, kissed Minnie, hugged Pluto and took a million pictures. We ate at different restaurants and I ate normally. I did not binge, I did not stuff, I made many healthy choices for example 99% of my dessert choices were fresh fruit, I ate a lot of turkey and chicken but I was relaxed. I was not crazy about what I was gong to eat or not gong to eat. “Where would I cheat”, how would I do it, etc? In the past while I was away this would always a big part of my time. This time I went with the crowd.
Oh, I will not be true to you or myself, if I do not tell you that I fought many internal battles while away and yes, I noticed every food stand along the way… but it was okay. I allowed my feelings to surface, the battles I took on and I was victorious. At times, there might have been a few casualties along the way (for example: my friends and family). I realize when I am fighting one of these internal battles, if sometimes a poor, innocent person crosses my path, they can unknowingly fall victim to my internal rage. I know this is wrong behavior and I am working at changing it. I am getting better at it; in the meantime, all I can do is be very sorry for it!
Recovery involves all kinds of experiences both external and internal. Some may be a little ugly but most are glorious and beautiful.
My Disney Magical Experience was full of pleasure. To be with great people and people that I love, to be able to get this chance once again to live again! To see inside the eyes of my grandbaby, while he was hypnotized with fantasy … well I am limited in words to describe how I felt. All I can do is to quote the song from a Disney movie song that says it best …
“Unbelievable sights, indescribable feeling, soaring, tumbling, freewheelingthrough an endless diamond sky. A whole new world. Don't I dare close my eyes. A hundred thousand things to see…
Hold your breath - it gets better.
I'm like a shooting star. I've come so far. I can't go back to where I used to be.
A Whole New World”
Have a great day!
Love
Mike
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
“…pick yourself up and get back in the race…”
That’s life! Am I dating myself with that Frank Sinatra song? Well I enjoy some of the words, for example. “…each time I find myself laying flat on my face, I just pick myself up and get back in the race”! For years now that has been how I exist. I have been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king, I’ve been up and down and over and out as I am sure many of us have been. The thing I know and I just always had a gut instinct was that I had to Never Give Up!
In my past my biggest downfall was not that “one binge” that I would have, no, never did any one meal put 100 pounds or 600 pounds on me. It was the behavior that followed that binge that became my problem. Initially it is just the taste of the food itself. Oh the experts may say it is the “salty taste, or the sweet taste”, all I know is that it is the “Good Taste” that sets me off. Let me not lie, pizza taste good and never did one slice of pizza ever satisfy me.
Anyway, there I would be struggling along “dieting” following one program or another, one gimmick or some new idea! Doing well for a while, numbers dropping, clothes drooping, and compliments coming and then one day (with or without a reason) I just was not going to have one more balanced “healthy” choice. I would give into the voice, I would weaken to the struggle, I would fall prisoner to the drive, and I became a slave to the compulsion of the self –gluttonous, self–destructive, yet un-controllable behavior. I would eat until there was just no more left; I would eat as if it was the last hour in earth’s being. At that moment nothing else counted, just consume as much food, as fast as I could. I was in a trance. Then often (not by my own power) but for some reason those many moments would be over. Then I had to deal with the after.
What did the after consist of? Guilt! The whys? “Why did I do that? Why did I blow the diet! All my hard work I wasted! It is just not going to work, I can not do it”! Then the next thoughts…. “Oh, I should have had bacon and eggs too or maybe crumb cake”. “Well I can not start the diet again without having a pound of bologna, I will have to have that tomorrow and then I will restart the diet the next day”!
The problem is the next day rarely comes and if it does it usually is a year (and 75 pounds) later.
That is the difference now!
I know that if there is a choice that I make now, that may not be the best one for me. A choice that in the past would have lead to an endless battle of guilt and self-destruction, just does not have to be that way anymore.
If I find myself lying flat on my face, I just have to pick myself up and get back in the race!!! I am an okay person! I am a human being, who at times, I may need to make adjustments in my life, and that is fine! Life is not a mathematical equation and sometimes 2+2 is not always going to easily add up to 4. Sometimes you have to help it along a bit. So why not, I am worth the effort, you are worth the effort!
I am thrilled to have a second (and third and fourth) chance if necessary. I am here today, I am alive today, and I am enjoying my life today because of second chances and my ability to, “not give up”.
My wife reminded me of something today. She had asked me what I was doing today and I told her I was blogging. She asked me about what and I told her. She reminded me that my “picking myself up” has given me an opportunity. An opportunity that I would like to share with you.
Twenty years ago, this past January I was at my lowest, and the year “2008” was not even a thought in my head. Then there was May of 1996, when they were taking me out my window with a forklift, in front of the whole world to see, “2008” was not even a dream of mine. Yet resilience, perseverance and just good old “attitude” of not giving up, has allowed me to be where I am today.
I am enjoying my life as if I was 25 years old once again; everyday is a new experience or just and old one that I may have forgotten. The point is that all us need to realize that our recovery, our quest to get well will not go without a bump here or there. Anything any of us strives for, go for, set out to do, will at times come up against a glitch or two. It is up to us to push forward, get through the storm and the bright days are in the future.
I have struggled for a long time, some times too long to think about but every battle every win, every backslide is worth the chance to be here today! Right where I am! Who I am!
Picking ourselves up, allows us to live ….not only live but also to be alive!
I say, I am going to be a player. It is a lot more fun to be a player than to be an observer and ultimately a victim. A player can play at any level, no matter what our physical limitations we may have.
So if you find yourself lying flat on your face, just pick yourself up and get back in the race …as long as you are in the race, YOU ARE A WINNER!
Good Luck my dear friends
Love
Mike
In my past my biggest downfall was not that “one binge” that I would have, no, never did any one meal put 100 pounds or 600 pounds on me. It was the behavior that followed that binge that became my problem. Initially it is just the taste of the food itself. Oh the experts may say it is the “salty taste, or the sweet taste”, all I know is that it is the “Good Taste” that sets me off. Let me not lie, pizza taste good and never did one slice of pizza ever satisfy me.
Anyway, there I would be struggling along “dieting” following one program or another, one gimmick or some new idea! Doing well for a while, numbers dropping, clothes drooping, and compliments coming and then one day (with or without a reason) I just was not going to have one more balanced “healthy” choice. I would give into the voice, I would weaken to the struggle, I would fall prisoner to the drive, and I became a slave to the compulsion of the self –gluttonous, self–destructive, yet un-controllable behavior. I would eat until there was just no more left; I would eat as if it was the last hour in earth’s being. At that moment nothing else counted, just consume as much food, as fast as I could. I was in a trance. Then often (not by my own power) but for some reason those many moments would be over. Then I had to deal with the after.
What did the after consist of? Guilt! The whys? “Why did I do that? Why did I blow the diet! All my hard work I wasted! It is just not going to work, I can not do it”! Then the next thoughts…. “Oh, I should have had bacon and eggs too or maybe crumb cake”. “Well I can not start the diet again without having a pound of bologna, I will have to have that tomorrow and then I will restart the diet the next day”!
The problem is the next day rarely comes and if it does it usually is a year (and 75 pounds) later.
That is the difference now!
I know that if there is a choice that I make now, that may not be the best one for me. A choice that in the past would have lead to an endless battle of guilt and self-destruction, just does not have to be that way anymore.
If I find myself lying flat on my face, I just have to pick myself up and get back in the race!!! I am an okay person! I am a human being, who at times, I may need to make adjustments in my life, and that is fine! Life is not a mathematical equation and sometimes 2+2 is not always going to easily add up to 4. Sometimes you have to help it along a bit. So why not, I am worth the effort, you are worth the effort!
I am thrilled to have a second (and third and fourth) chance if necessary. I am here today, I am alive today, and I am enjoying my life today because of second chances and my ability to, “not give up”.
My wife reminded me of something today. She had asked me what I was doing today and I told her I was blogging. She asked me about what and I told her. She reminded me that my “picking myself up” has given me an opportunity. An opportunity that I would like to share with you.
Twenty years ago, this past January I was at my lowest, and the year “2008” was not even a thought in my head. Then there was May of 1996, when they were taking me out my window with a forklift, in front of the whole world to see, “2008” was not even a dream of mine. Yet resilience, perseverance and just good old “attitude” of not giving up, has allowed me to be where I am today.
I am enjoying my life as if I was 25 years old once again; everyday is a new experience or just and old one that I may have forgotten. The point is that all us need to realize that our recovery, our quest to get well will not go without a bump here or there. Anything any of us strives for, go for, set out to do, will at times come up against a glitch or two. It is up to us to push forward, get through the storm and the bright days are in the future.
I have struggled for a long time, some times too long to think about but every battle every win, every backslide is worth the chance to be here today! Right where I am! Who I am!
Picking ourselves up, allows us to live ….not only live but also to be alive!
I say, I am going to be a player. It is a lot more fun to be a player than to be an observer and ultimately a victim. A player can play at any level, no matter what our physical limitations we may have.
So if you find yourself lying flat on your face, just pick yourself up and get back in the race …as long as you are in the race, YOU ARE A WINNER!
Good Luck my dear friends
Love
Mike
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Today is Just Another Day
Just another day. You know those days where there is no “Pomp and Circumstance”, no parties going on, no company coming over, no events, no plans ….just another day. These for many of us are the majority of days and very often the days that for me in the past were the hardest to deal with (especially when it came to my eating problems). Today is just another day, how easy that can be stated and how untrue it really is.
Just another day, who am I kidding, it is “just another day”, a day that I have awoke, that I get a chance to enjoy a sunrise. A bird sings in my yard and I hear it. I open the door and fresh air blows gently over my face. Just another day to watch a TV show, or to smile, or get to enjoy my grandson. Another day to be able to love and be loved by my wife, son, family and friends. Another day to be a player in this game we call life! How thankful I am to be this player!
Let us not forget what this day really is (the day I am writing this blog). This is a day no American, no world citizen will ever forget, today is September 11th 2008 “911”. Is it “just another day”, to over 3,000 families and loved ones, of those poor innocent people who perished so needlessly, so innocently, so tragically. I spent part of my day watching the reading of those poor victims’ names and as they read, those names I could not help notice how many were in there twenties and thirties. Having a thirty-year-old son, I could not imagine the pain, the horror of it all. All I can say is God bless theses special souls and their loved ones left behind.
If I think about it and maybe not on such a large scale (as 911) but what might be “just another day” for me and you, in someone else’s life it is a very important date. There are no days that are, “just another day”.
I know I needed to look at every day as an important day for me in order to make important changes in my life. To make healthy changes. If it were “just another day” then I would eat whatever I wanted today and then tomorrow on an “important day” I would do the right thing. Wrong! I am just as important today as I am on Christmas Day, Fourth of July, tomorrow or the next day! I am important and so is every day that I am alive.
We need to appreciate this day and everyday and make every day count …for us! We have to do the right things for ourselves just as much today as we should have done yesterday and certainly will do tomorrow.
Not everyday will there be an obvious “parade” but if you look very hard and listen real well you will hear the drums, you will see the floats and enjoy the clowns. You make those days special, even if it is just by doing something nice for someone ….even like yourself.
You wake up; you are ahead of the game and what a game it will be. Let us face it, you can look at a day and deal with a day in a two ways.
One outlook --- “oh man, another day, I don’t feel well, I am alone, I am overweight, I have no money, I can’t eat right, da da da da da”. Another outlook could be “wow, what a great day (even a cloudy, rainy day has beauty), I am alive, I get a chance to make healthy choices, I am going to make myself happy in some way today, I am a lucky person”!
Therefore my friends I know what is working for me and having a positive outlook about my life (even at the low moments), looking for that silver lining, appreciating the journey, taking one step at a time, looking at that glass as so “half full” has helped me lose over 300 pounds in three years. What is even more important than the numbers is the inner feeling of peace. I do not want you or myself to think that I am totally relaxed, I know that I am an addict (food) and I will always be an addict. Yet my positive outlook and attitude, my dealing with each battle as it arises, has helped me now, in the moment and making my life work. So far for three years, thank God!
So if you are one of those who have a little difficulty looking on the bright side, give yourself a chance, begin to love yourself, see that glass as half full. You will begin to realize that there is reason for joy in almost all times of living itself.
Those of my friends that see that silver lining, well that is great! A little suggestion (if you do not already do so) share a smile with someone (especially one who may find it difficult to see that glass as half full) I promise the rewards will be great.
Bless you all; bless all the families and victims of 911
To all my friends have a great rest of this wonderful day and a special tomorrow …
Love
Mike
Just another day, who am I kidding, it is “just another day”, a day that I have awoke, that I get a chance to enjoy a sunrise. A bird sings in my yard and I hear it. I open the door and fresh air blows gently over my face. Just another day to watch a TV show, or to smile, or get to enjoy my grandson. Another day to be able to love and be loved by my wife, son, family and friends. Another day to be a player in this game we call life! How thankful I am to be this player!
Let us not forget what this day really is (the day I am writing this blog). This is a day no American, no world citizen will ever forget, today is September 11th 2008 “911”. Is it “just another day”, to over 3,000 families and loved ones, of those poor innocent people who perished so needlessly, so innocently, so tragically. I spent part of my day watching the reading of those poor victims’ names and as they read, those names I could not help notice how many were in there twenties and thirties. Having a thirty-year-old son, I could not imagine the pain, the horror of it all. All I can say is God bless theses special souls and their loved ones left behind.
If I think about it and maybe not on such a large scale (as 911) but what might be “just another day” for me and you, in someone else’s life it is a very important date. There are no days that are, “just another day”.
I know I needed to look at every day as an important day for me in order to make important changes in my life. To make healthy changes. If it were “just another day” then I would eat whatever I wanted today and then tomorrow on an “important day” I would do the right thing. Wrong! I am just as important today as I am on Christmas Day, Fourth of July, tomorrow or the next day! I am important and so is every day that I am alive.
We need to appreciate this day and everyday and make every day count …for us! We have to do the right things for ourselves just as much today as we should have done yesterday and certainly will do tomorrow.
Not everyday will there be an obvious “parade” but if you look very hard and listen real well you will hear the drums, you will see the floats and enjoy the clowns. You make those days special, even if it is just by doing something nice for someone ….even like yourself.
You wake up; you are ahead of the game and what a game it will be. Let us face it, you can look at a day and deal with a day in a two ways.
One outlook --- “oh man, another day, I don’t feel well, I am alone, I am overweight, I have no money, I can’t eat right, da da da da da”. Another outlook could be “wow, what a great day (even a cloudy, rainy day has beauty), I am alive, I get a chance to make healthy choices, I am going to make myself happy in some way today, I am a lucky person”!
Therefore my friends I know what is working for me and having a positive outlook about my life (even at the low moments), looking for that silver lining, appreciating the journey, taking one step at a time, looking at that glass as so “half full” has helped me lose over 300 pounds in three years. What is even more important than the numbers is the inner feeling of peace. I do not want you or myself to think that I am totally relaxed, I know that I am an addict (food) and I will always be an addict. Yet my positive outlook and attitude, my dealing with each battle as it arises, has helped me now, in the moment and making my life work. So far for three years, thank God!
So if you are one of those who have a little difficulty looking on the bright side, give yourself a chance, begin to love yourself, see that glass as half full. You will begin to realize that there is reason for joy in almost all times of living itself.
Those of my friends that see that silver lining, well that is great! A little suggestion (if you do not already do so) share a smile with someone (especially one who may find it difficult to see that glass as half full) I promise the rewards will be great.
Bless you all; bless all the families and victims of 911
To all my friends have a great rest of this wonderful day and a special tomorrow …
Love
Mike
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