I have found through my journey that when I am having my worst times. Those days when I would be eating out of control. When I would be starting every day with the words, “Today is going to be the day I do good” and by sometime soon into that day I will be re-negotiated with myself and committing to, “tomorrow I will start over again”!
Each new day making another new deal and truly wanting to believe it will happen and why not? Do I really need to gain any more weight? Do I really want to jeopardize my health and independence? Do I want to die? No, No, No and definitely No! Yet my clothes get tighter, my pain gets deeper, my legs get weaker and my breath gets shorter. I know then that I am in trouble. I have known along the way that I was in trouble.
I am having enough of a hard time with the battle, just to put two healthy meals together, do I really need any ones help, making me feel worse than I already do, about myself? Do I need a family member, a boss, a colleague, a producer, doctor, stranger or friend coming up to me and asking me or “telling” me that I have gained weight? DUH! I know all about it and I thank you for making (helping) me to feel even better about myself, than I do already! DO WE REALLY NEED THAT KIND OF HELP??
You know I have this theory and I will try to explain it in a short version (because some day it might be in a book form, I hope). Her goes, our disease (our struggle, battle, fight, problem, habit, call it whatever makes you feel comfortable), our disease feeds off negative energy. Whether it may be caused from depression, pressure, nerves, loneliness, anxiety, the past, the present, or the fears of the future, any kind of negative energy, both conscience or unconscious, and we will eat over it.
Each time we eat out of control, it is like those “old locomotives”, we feed the engine with more negative logs (reasons) to keep the “engine” (our) mouth going. We eat, we react to eating and then we eat more.
Then all we need is some one to really mean well (and sometimes not mean well) and try to tell us we have gained weight and maybe they can help!
BOOM!
More logs for that engine and then “FULL SPEED AHEAD”, and eating FRENZY!
I know about intervention and I agree that in the right way and done at the right time with the right set of circumstances it can be helpful but it is a delicate problem and needs delicate handling. The biggest intervention has to come first from within.
We know the people in our lives who are out there who will help us! HOWEVER, we have to make those moves toward them; we have to want to make those moves.
In order to want to help ourselves, and to help ourselves we must be in a POSITIVE state of mind, a positive place!
I f you are angry with yourself, if you hate yourself, then how can you be positive about you???
How can you go through the struggle ahead of you that day, if you do not like the person you are fighting for?
You need to support a positive atmosphere around you, within your life as much as possible.
How? Well, one way is to think about this.
You can hate the act (of overeating) but do not hate the actor.
You can possibly not be thrilled with the physical package when you look in a mirror but love the ingredients.
Do that first my friends and then dealing with the others in your life who say hurtful things will be a little easier. If you think about this…
In the scheme of things, the people who are upsetting you do not really matter! They are not there when you have to make the right choices. They are not with your 24/7 when you have to face your inner most self. Who are these people you give so much power too?
They may people who threaten to fire you, or not be your friend, maybe divorce you or never speak with you again, if, you do not lose weight.
Yet do they have the power to extend your life? Can they give you five or ten more years of living? I doubt it but guess what? You have that power!
You are the one that has to like yourself, and like yourself enough to where no matter what hits you, that it will not matter.
You are going to do well with your next choice!
Therefore the original question was “Do you need help to put yourself down?”
What is the answer? You should know the answer.
The answer is, “No one puts you down! You give no one that power!”
Take the power away from those who hurt you and then …
You have won one more battle!
Each battle we win helps with our personal WAR!
Take back the POWER, take back the CONTROL
Good luck my so” worth while”, “Brother and Sister in Battle”
Good luck my friend
Never give up and so you will never fail!
Love
Mike
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Depression
Have you ever been in a room full of people and felt alone? Have you ever felt as if you wanted to, just scream but for no particular reason. Besides, why bother, who would care or even hear you anyway? Does what seems to be the silliest little reason put you into tears? Does your bed or your living room ever seem like it is the easiest or safest place to deal with “today”?
Sound familiar? You may be depressed! I looked up in the dictionary and among many definitions on “depression”; I would like to share these few:
A depressed or sunken place- sadness; gloom; dejection. A condition of general emotion dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason
Suffering from depression or being depressed… in the past has been an embarrassment and almost like having some terrible social disease.
Times have changed and the time is now and is time to “Get over that”!
Depression is not something to be ashamed of nor is it something to be ignored and “shoved under the carpet”, with hopes it will go away on its own Depression is something that needs to be fought, on every level with everything you got!
This is a time in history, when we as human beings acknowledge whatever is not working and then do what is needed to be done and make it all work for the better!
There is nothing wrong with depression or being depressed except “Staying Depressed”!
I have dealt with depression on many levels throughout my battle and during my re-discovery.
All I do know is, depression is not pretty. It could be very painful, draining and at times destructive. Destructive meaning: non-productive; harmful to relationships; hurtful to oneself; and on many different levels.
In my particular case, I would often find myself asking…
“Do I overeat because I am depressed or “Am I depressed because I overeat”?
This is the “million dollar” question but either way the results of the overeating in the past have not been good for me.
That is why I and I hope anyone who reads this must be willing to take the “Bull by the horns”.
Recognize the enemy! Notice the signs and if you are depressed, then do whatever it may take to get yourself back on track.
I am no professional nor do I pretend to be one but I am a person who knows about depression. I have seen it in its ugliest states.
Besides, I personally like millions of human beings fight to stay positive. Sometimes you may be feeling a little blue and just a new hair do may be the “Pick you up” that you might need. Maybe a phone call to an old friend and a few laughs is just “What the doctor has ordered”.
Sometimes it may take a little more than just that. It may take some professional help…and why not? Are you not worth it? I ask you, is not your life working well, worth anything and everything? If you had a bad cold that you could not “shake” with some over-the-counter medication, you would look to a professional.
So, I ask, why not in this case too?
I know I would do anything, rather than be confined to a bed again for three years or homebound for fifteen years. If it means me admitting, I might need a little extra help and that I am not the one who can fix everything in the world and in my life. That I might need some help. Than let it be!
Depression is an ugly thing! Yet with work, it can be made better. Maybe it will not be cured forever, but for now, you do what you have to. Later, then you do what needs to be done, then too!
As long as you remember at all times, your life is meant to be lived, to the fullest and at the highest quality possible. You must remember that you do whatever needs to be done to make you smile inside your heart. To have peace, within your being.
You must make the effort, to get up out of that bed, if you physically can (so many of our friends physically cannot), get up out of that chair; open up that door or window, take a deep breathe and smile. Smile, then make some good healthy choices today and always remember these four simple but very important words….say them to yourself daily and as often as necessary during the day. Repeat them now…with meaning
I AM WORTH IT! One more time I AM WORTH IT!
Have a great day and do whatever you need to do to make this day, your day!
Love
Mike
Sound familiar? You may be depressed! I looked up in the dictionary and among many definitions on “depression”; I would like to share these few:
A depressed or sunken place- sadness; gloom; dejection. A condition of general emotion dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason
Suffering from depression or being depressed… in the past has been an embarrassment and almost like having some terrible social disease.
Times have changed and the time is now and is time to “Get over that”!
Depression is not something to be ashamed of nor is it something to be ignored and “shoved under the carpet”, with hopes it will go away on its own Depression is something that needs to be fought, on every level with everything you got!
This is a time in history, when we as human beings acknowledge whatever is not working and then do what is needed to be done and make it all work for the better!
There is nothing wrong with depression or being depressed except “Staying Depressed”!
I have dealt with depression on many levels throughout my battle and during my re-discovery.
All I do know is, depression is not pretty. It could be very painful, draining and at times destructive. Destructive meaning: non-productive; harmful to relationships; hurtful to oneself; and on many different levels.
In my particular case, I would often find myself asking…
“Do I overeat because I am depressed or “Am I depressed because I overeat”?
This is the “million dollar” question but either way the results of the overeating in the past have not been good for me.
That is why I and I hope anyone who reads this must be willing to take the “Bull by the horns”.
Recognize the enemy! Notice the signs and if you are depressed, then do whatever it may take to get yourself back on track.
I am no professional nor do I pretend to be one but I am a person who knows about depression. I have seen it in its ugliest states.
Besides, I personally like millions of human beings fight to stay positive. Sometimes you may be feeling a little blue and just a new hair do may be the “Pick you up” that you might need. Maybe a phone call to an old friend and a few laughs is just “What the doctor has ordered”.
Sometimes it may take a little more than just that. It may take some professional help…and why not? Are you not worth it? I ask you, is not your life working well, worth anything and everything? If you had a bad cold that you could not “shake” with some over-the-counter medication, you would look to a professional.
So, I ask, why not in this case too?
I know I would do anything, rather than be confined to a bed again for three years or homebound for fifteen years. If it means me admitting, I might need a little extra help and that I am not the one who can fix everything in the world and in my life. That I might need some help. Than let it be!
Depression is an ugly thing! Yet with work, it can be made better. Maybe it will not be cured forever, but for now, you do what you have to. Later, then you do what needs to be done, then too!
As long as you remember at all times, your life is meant to be lived, to the fullest and at the highest quality possible. You must remember that you do whatever needs to be done to make you smile inside your heart. To have peace, within your being.
You must make the effort, to get up out of that bed, if you physically can (so many of our friends physically cannot), get up out of that chair; open up that door or window, take a deep breathe and smile. Smile, then make some good healthy choices today and always remember these four simple but very important words….say them to yourself daily and as often as necessary during the day. Repeat them now…with meaning
I AM WORTH IT! One more time I AM WORTH IT!
Have a great day and do whatever you need to do to make this day, your day!
Love
Mike
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The Miracle of Life
On June 9th, of this year I was honored, proud, and thrilled to be at the hospital, when my daughter-in-law and my son become new parents of a healthy baby boy. In the waiting room along with the mom’s family, was my wife, my 83-year-old mother-in-law and my three-year-old grandson. Four glorious generations, in a waiting room, just waiting for the surprise announcement of whether their was a new Hebranko boy or girl. Then my son came through the elevator doors and the wait was over. My grandson had his little brother, that he was so anxiously waiting for, a new play pal.
Right after the initial emotional outburst from all and my own personal pride, I was feeling for my son and his now family of four. I could not help to think about how beautiful life is truly. A miracle had just happened within that building and my son and daughter-in-law (especially) were part of it. Within minutes, we were able to look through this glass window and I saw him. My grandson, my second grandson. I never had a two. I was an only child, I had an only child and for the past three plus years, I was blessed with one grandchild. Now I had two.
I have lived to see this happen. I could not help think, as I looked at this beautiful little boy how great it was this time, to be a part of this moment. Sadly, at the birth of his brother, I could not be at the hospital. Therefore, I waited at home for a phone call from his dad. That when it did come through, he said to me, “Da, I have a son”!
I also could not help remember how many of my son’s school plays I missed, his little league games that I could not attend. I even missed my own son’s high school graduation.
However, I did not miss this. I was there, live and part of it all. The last brand new baby I had seen born was this little person’s daddy 32 years ago. It was a big difference. Besides me being 32 years younger, his daddy was almost twice his size. My little grandson was a small guy, six pounds eleven ounces. His dad was eleven pounds four ounces. Almost half but just as beautiful and just as cute.
Life is a miracle. At one point I was holding my older grandson (imagine, my older grandson) and the both of us are looking at this newcomer to the world.
I want to wish my grandsons, their mom and dad only happiness and health in life. I hope they always see the glass as half full and look for that silver lining in those clouds….it is there.
Life is a miracle and if you are reading this blog, then you are part of this miracle. Each day we open our eyes and at the end of the day, lay our heads on our pillows, we were part of the “Miracle of Life”.
There were times in my life I did not see grandchild in my future and now I see me dancing at their grandchildren’s wedding.
All things are possible ……
Have a great day and keep smiling
Love,
Mike
Right after the initial emotional outburst from all and my own personal pride, I was feeling for my son and his now family of four. I could not help to think about how beautiful life is truly. A miracle had just happened within that building and my son and daughter-in-law (especially) were part of it. Within minutes, we were able to look through this glass window and I saw him. My grandson, my second grandson. I never had a two. I was an only child, I had an only child and for the past three plus years, I was blessed with one grandchild. Now I had two.
I have lived to see this happen. I could not help think, as I looked at this beautiful little boy how great it was this time, to be a part of this moment. Sadly, at the birth of his brother, I could not be at the hospital. Therefore, I waited at home for a phone call from his dad. That when it did come through, he said to me, “Da, I have a son”!
I also could not help remember how many of my son’s school plays I missed, his little league games that I could not attend. I even missed my own son’s high school graduation.
However, I did not miss this. I was there, live and part of it all. The last brand new baby I had seen born was this little person’s daddy 32 years ago. It was a big difference. Besides me being 32 years younger, his daddy was almost twice his size. My little grandson was a small guy, six pounds eleven ounces. His dad was eleven pounds four ounces. Almost half but just as beautiful and just as cute.
Life is a miracle. At one point I was holding my older grandson (imagine, my older grandson) and the both of us are looking at this newcomer to the world.
I want to wish my grandsons, their mom and dad only happiness and health in life. I hope they always see the glass as half full and look for that silver lining in those clouds….it is there.
Life is a miracle and if you are reading this blog, then you are part of this miracle. Each day we open our eyes and at the end of the day, lay our heads on our pillows, we were part of the “Miracle of Life”.
There were times in my life I did not see grandchild in my future and now I see me dancing at their grandchildren’s wedding.
All things are possible ……
Have a great day and keep smiling
Love,
Mike
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Prayer
I believe in prayer. The power of prayer is probably the most powerful force in the world, the universe. For me prayer is my personal communication with my maker, my lord. To some who are non-believers, they may call prayer; meditation, quite time or whatever they may like.
From a personal point of view, I pray daily. Being raised a Roman Catholic I have my standard prayers (Our “Hail Mary’s”, The “Lords Prayer”, A “Glory Be”, An “Act of Contrition” etc :) but then there is my direct communication, my one on one time, me to the lord.
Today, I found myself alone in the house for a short time and I began to pray. Before I knew it, I was praying aloud as if God was sitting right next to me (and he was). There were no formal words; I thanked him for what I have, for what he has done in my life, and for my life! Then of course, I asked him for things. Health was on the top of that list and not so much for me (although I did not fail to include me on the list) but mostly for my wife, son, daughter in law and the future baby soon to be part of our world and life. Then there were special thanks for my grandson and what a gift he is and to protect him (by now I was in tears).
Before you know it, I was feeling guilty. I didn’t want to leave anyone out, I prayed for my mother in law, my extended family, my friends, my blog buddies, and for even people I didn’t know. I also asked for a few other things….like strength.
I am not posting this to share my prayers or try to convert anyone. What I am trying to say is afterwards I felt, GREAT!
I felt strong, as if a weight was lifted off my shoulder.
Me, I believe it was my direct communication with the “Big Guy”. I highly recommend it. Again, if you are not the spiritual type then just a little alone time and speak out loud, how you feel. Holler if need be, cry out in pain if that is what you are feeling. Crying is not a sign of weakness but rather a way of cleansing of ones mind and spirit.
People have been praying and meditating for trillions (ha) of years. Some call it meditation, some call it prayer, call it what you want to, I just say it is a great experience.
Spending time with yourself, deep time, getting things together, being thankful for the things that have worked (and there is plenty of things that work), verbalizing what you need to have happen, what you want to happen. Being grateful for the things in your life, even the small things, can help one along the path with great power.
Getting yourself in a positive mood and being positive helps in those self-struggles, we all face. So for me, I had a great spiritual morning and wanted to share it with my friends (I must be honest it was not my first). I feel extra good, extra strong and very happy.
Why not share it?
If you are one who prays (or meditates), then I am sure you understand what I am saying and for those who have different beliefs or no beliefs then I just ask you to find some time to spend with you. You will find that you need a little affirmation, forgiveness, and some direction.
Go for it and never ever forget about yourself …in this very complex world!
Have a great day!
Peace of mind and Peace be with you
Love
Mike
From a personal point of view, I pray daily. Being raised a Roman Catholic I have my standard prayers (Our “Hail Mary’s”, The “Lords Prayer”, A “Glory Be”, An “Act of Contrition” etc :) but then there is my direct communication, my one on one time, me to the lord.
Today, I found myself alone in the house for a short time and I began to pray. Before I knew it, I was praying aloud as if God was sitting right next to me (and he was). There were no formal words; I thanked him for what I have, for what he has done in my life, and for my life! Then of course, I asked him for things. Health was on the top of that list and not so much for me (although I did not fail to include me on the list) but mostly for my wife, son, daughter in law and the future baby soon to be part of our world and life. Then there were special thanks for my grandson and what a gift he is and to protect him (by now I was in tears).
Before you know it, I was feeling guilty. I didn’t want to leave anyone out, I prayed for my mother in law, my extended family, my friends, my blog buddies, and for even people I didn’t know. I also asked for a few other things….like strength.
I am not posting this to share my prayers or try to convert anyone. What I am trying to say is afterwards I felt, GREAT!
I felt strong, as if a weight was lifted off my shoulder.
Me, I believe it was my direct communication with the “Big Guy”. I highly recommend it. Again, if you are not the spiritual type then just a little alone time and speak out loud, how you feel. Holler if need be, cry out in pain if that is what you are feeling. Crying is not a sign of weakness but rather a way of cleansing of ones mind and spirit.
People have been praying and meditating for trillions (ha) of years. Some call it meditation, some call it prayer, call it what you want to, I just say it is a great experience.
Spending time with yourself, deep time, getting things together, being thankful for the things that have worked (and there is plenty of things that work), verbalizing what you need to have happen, what you want to happen. Being grateful for the things in your life, even the small things, can help one along the path with great power.
Getting yourself in a positive mood and being positive helps in those self-struggles, we all face. So for me, I had a great spiritual morning and wanted to share it with my friends (I must be honest it was not my first). I feel extra good, extra strong and very happy.
Why not share it?
If you are one who prays (or meditates), then I am sure you understand what I am saying and for those who have different beliefs or no beliefs then I just ask you to find some time to spend with you. You will find that you need a little affirmation, forgiveness, and some direction.
Go for it and never ever forget about yourself …in this very complex world!
Have a great day!
Peace of mind and Peace be with you
Love
Mike
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Reflections
I sit here and it is the last day that I live as a fifty-six year old man. Tomorrow I begin my journey on my fifty-seventh year of life. What have I accomplished in 56 years? What have I learned in 56 years?
If you allow me, I would like to take a minute of your time to share some of my life’s lessons. I have learned that there is nothing more important than faith and love. Faith in my God and the love for the life he has given me. I have learned that the important thing is not the material things you accumulate (because they can be gone in an instant) in life, but what are important is the people you get to share your life with and that you meet along the way.
If I remember in my High School Year book, my goal in life was to be rich and I spent a good part of my early time of my life trying to be rich . My problem was I did not know what the meaning of rich was then.
Like so many, I thought “Rich” meant how much money you had and where you ranked in the “Fortune 500”. You know they call money a “Liquid Asset” for a good reason because like a liquid, it can flow in any direction very easily. There was a time when I did not have money and I thought I was “Poor”. I was so wrong. What I did not realize then was with each day I was getting richer and richer.
There was a point that I wooed my life’s mate and married my sweet wife, since then it has been as if my “Dow Jones” has been doubling each day. Some of the priceless “Dividends” has to be my son and now his son and soon to be new baby.
Over these years, I have been able to bank some very important relationships. I have friends of over 40 years and through these years have come across some amazing people who I have become friendly with. I have a cousin who is more like a sister to me and our relationship is very valuable to me. My dad’s sister and her family have been supportive of me through some very difficult times. I love my Aunt Eva and Uncle Steve and pray for their health each day.
Then there are my “In-Laws”, boy do in-laws get a bad rap as far as I am concerned. My wife’s family has adopted me and been by my side through thick and thin. My late father in law was one of my best friends and I miss him dearly. My mother in law is a Saint and I enjoy everyday talking with her and sharing life with her. She is and has been so good to me. My sister-in-laws are great. They have been like sisters to me and to my son! My brother in law was the first to offer me blood when I needed it and for this, I can never forget him. My wife’s Uncle’s and late Aunts ….beautiful people, no other way to describe them and her cousins unique are my cousins too, a true dedicated family, all there for each other. Therefore, what value do I put on that? You can not!
Then as a parent you worry and hope that, your child finds the right mate too. You hope that they are as happy in their relationship as you are in yours. My son brings home a truly wonderful wife, a marvelous mother and a great daughter (in law). Together I know that they will be as happy as my wife and I are …a forever kind of love.
Blessed family, good friends what else is there? Well there is more.
I have been a man who has lived in fear of his life for over 40 years. Since I was 16, I have felt that I was going to die (mostly because professionals have told me so). Long-life was not in my future. I spent many a day living (and eating) as if it was the last day on earth. Seriously, I use to go to bed with five or six ham and cheese sandwiches thinking if I was going to die, I ought to die with a full stomach (is that not the reasoning of someone with a disease?).
Thirty-five years ago tonight I swore I was going to go to bed and not wake up on my Twenty-First Birthday because I was sworn to that I would never live to my 21st Birthday if I didn’t lose weight.
I sit here now and I will begin my 56th year tomorrow. Am I sounding like “ha-ha” I beat all the odds? Oh no, forgive me if I sound that way. I am a grateful human being. I am thankful to many people; and on the top of that list are my wife and son, my special doctors and her colleagues, Richard, my friends and my family. Two other special thanks. One is to me because with all the help and all the support I have gotten, no one goes through the battle daily, minute by minute but me and little pat on my back is well deserved once in awhile. Then on top of the list is God, I am so thankful to God for giving me this time. Can I say to God, “God bless you” God because I am so grateful.
Therefore, I get this time to reflect on the important things in life. Yes, numbers were always a big thing in my life. How much money I had, how much did I weigh, how much did I lose or gain? Now numbers are not so important. Lifestyle is more important. I cannot take numbers with me to the next world.
My health is important, the quality of my life is important and the people in my life are important.
Thank you Mommy and Dad for the life you have given me and even though you may not be here with me on this earth, you live so strongly in my heart and mind.
What have I accomplished? I have been a loving husband and father and grandpa and one grateful human being! I have accomplished a lot! I have lived my High School Dream , I am a rich man, a very rich man!!
Therefore, my friends on my Birthday I give to you this gift of “reflections” and ask you too to reflect on exactly what is important to you. What are the things you can do today that will be with you tomorrow and not just for a passing moment?
Have a great day tomorrow and for many tomorrows to come…
Happy day to you
Love
Mike
If you allow me, I would like to take a minute of your time to share some of my life’s lessons. I have learned that there is nothing more important than faith and love. Faith in my God and the love for the life he has given me. I have learned that the important thing is not the material things you accumulate (because they can be gone in an instant) in life, but what are important is the people you get to share your life with and that you meet along the way.
If I remember in my High School Year book, my goal in life was to be rich and I spent a good part of my early time of my life trying to be rich . My problem was I did not know what the meaning of rich was then.
Like so many, I thought “Rich” meant how much money you had and where you ranked in the “Fortune 500”. You know they call money a “Liquid Asset” for a good reason because like a liquid, it can flow in any direction very easily. There was a time when I did not have money and I thought I was “Poor”. I was so wrong. What I did not realize then was with each day I was getting richer and richer.
There was a point that I wooed my life’s mate and married my sweet wife, since then it has been as if my “Dow Jones” has been doubling each day. Some of the priceless “Dividends” has to be my son and now his son and soon to be new baby.
Over these years, I have been able to bank some very important relationships. I have friends of over 40 years and through these years have come across some amazing people who I have become friendly with. I have a cousin who is more like a sister to me and our relationship is very valuable to me. My dad’s sister and her family have been supportive of me through some very difficult times. I love my Aunt Eva and Uncle Steve and pray for their health each day.
Then there are my “In-Laws”, boy do in-laws get a bad rap as far as I am concerned. My wife’s family has adopted me and been by my side through thick and thin. My late father in law was one of my best friends and I miss him dearly. My mother in law is a Saint and I enjoy everyday talking with her and sharing life with her. She is and has been so good to me. My sister-in-laws are great. They have been like sisters to me and to my son! My brother in law was the first to offer me blood when I needed it and for this, I can never forget him. My wife’s Uncle’s and late Aunts ….beautiful people, no other way to describe them and her cousins unique are my cousins too, a true dedicated family, all there for each other. Therefore, what value do I put on that? You can not!
Then as a parent you worry and hope that, your child finds the right mate too. You hope that they are as happy in their relationship as you are in yours. My son brings home a truly wonderful wife, a marvelous mother and a great daughter (in law). Together I know that they will be as happy as my wife and I are …a forever kind of love.
Blessed family, good friends what else is there? Well there is more.
I have been a man who has lived in fear of his life for over 40 years. Since I was 16, I have felt that I was going to die (mostly because professionals have told me so). Long-life was not in my future. I spent many a day living (and eating) as if it was the last day on earth. Seriously, I use to go to bed with five or six ham and cheese sandwiches thinking if I was going to die, I ought to die with a full stomach (is that not the reasoning of someone with a disease?).
Thirty-five years ago tonight I swore I was going to go to bed and not wake up on my Twenty-First Birthday because I was sworn to that I would never live to my 21st Birthday if I didn’t lose weight.
I sit here now and I will begin my 56th year tomorrow. Am I sounding like “ha-ha” I beat all the odds? Oh no, forgive me if I sound that way. I am a grateful human being. I am thankful to many people; and on the top of that list are my wife and son, my special doctors and her colleagues, Richard, my friends and my family. Two other special thanks. One is to me because with all the help and all the support I have gotten, no one goes through the battle daily, minute by minute but me and little pat on my back is well deserved once in awhile. Then on top of the list is God, I am so thankful to God for giving me this time. Can I say to God, “God bless you” God because I am so grateful.
Therefore, I get this time to reflect on the important things in life. Yes, numbers were always a big thing in my life. How much money I had, how much did I weigh, how much did I lose or gain? Now numbers are not so important. Lifestyle is more important. I cannot take numbers with me to the next world.
My health is important, the quality of my life is important and the people in my life are important.
Thank you Mommy and Dad for the life you have given me and even though you may not be here with me on this earth, you live so strongly in my heart and mind.
What have I accomplished? I have been a loving husband and father and grandpa and one grateful human being! I have accomplished a lot! I have lived my High School Dream , I am a rich man, a very rich man!!
Therefore, my friends on my Birthday I give to you this gift of “reflections” and ask you too to reflect on exactly what is important to you. What are the things you can do today that will be with you tomorrow and not just for a passing moment?
Have a great day tomorrow and for many tomorrows to come…
Happy day to you
Love
Mike
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Not Easy To Pick Yourself Up …But Necessary
Probably one of the most difficult things in the world is admitting to yourself (and sometimes others) that you have made a mistake. You goofed! Call it what you want, you may say you slipped, you fell off the wagon, you cheated, you had a bad day, whatever but I have learned two things in my journey. The first thing is not to ever say to myself that I have Failed! No no no, Failure is not an option!
Failure only exists, only when you stop trying! My feeling is as long as God gives me the gift of life, then I will do my utmost to make the best of it. I have to try to do my best (I sound like the Boy or Girl Scouts), for myself because the “carrot” for that effort is a better and longer quality of life. Do I not deserve it? Sure I do and so do you!
We are here for a fixed period of time. We are not meant to suffer in our lives. Certainly, we are not meant to be harmful to ourselves. You and I should take advantage of every moment we have. We all deal with different problems and situations and I know at times they can become overwhelming. Yet as soon as we snap to reality and at the next available moment we can, we need to take the “ball” we have be given and “run” with it. For some of us that “run” might be just a walk or just a way to deal with it.
In my life, my constant issues have been weight related and dealing with the struggles of eating healthy and taking care of myself on a daily basis. My “disease” has taken its toll on me. I have had my “ups and downs” and yes, I do not weigh 198 pounds as I did in September of 1990 but I am still not a failure (even though some may see me as one). I have not failed and why because I have not given up! I have never stopped trying.
I fought to survive for over twenty years. I have slipped, slid, fell, bumped, backslid, and binged myself up and down hundreds and hundreds of pounds but I never failed. There was not a day that I thought that there was not any hope left for me. There was not a day, a moment that I was not willing to try and try again, even it meant to start all over again!
I am eating healthier today than I have in many of my past days. I pray that I will continue to make the right choices and if there may come a moment when I will slip again; I pray that I will have the chance to try again. Hey, life is too good, not to want to make the best of it. Fourteen years ago, I was bedbound and I knew that I wanted to survive; I knew I had to keep fighting. I knew I had things to live for and I knew that there was more ahead.
Look what my life is now. I am a Grandpa! A completely new chance to love a completely new life. To share in the energy of God’s gift of new life! I did not know then that this is what was in store for me now as I do not know now what might be in store for me tomorrow…just let me go the way!
I have said I have learned two things along my journey and one being is not to ever say I have failed as long as I am trying. The other one is simple and an obvious one but it took me a little longer to learn and to accept. That is that I am “Human”. Yep, human, in all its glory and all its meaning.
In being human, I have realized that we are not perfect in the fact that we make mistakes by nature. Once I can accept that about myself then I will not be so darn hard on myself. Boy can we be hard on ourselves. Isn’t it funny we can be patient with the whole world, we can forgive so many people in our lives that have hurt us, time and time again but when it comes to forgiving ourselves ... ??
That has been the hardest lesson to learn in my new life, yet it has been one of the best and it has been one of my most useful tools! Self-forgiveness a better tool, the primary tool before any “Diet”, Food Program”, Exercise Regiment”, “Calorie Calculator” “Pedometer” or any other tool or gimmick one may use.
Learning to forgive you is such an important and necessary step in being a Winner! If we have the gift of forgiveness for others than it is about time to give it to ourselves.
It is “Not easy to pick yourself up, when you have fallen of the righteous path of living a healthy lifestyle. After days, weeks, months of eating the right foods, making the right choices, doing the healthy things then BOOM, a moment comes and you “Goof”. Sometimes those “Goofs” last a long time and do a lot of damage and picking yourself up, brushing yourself off and starting all over again may not be easy but it is “Necessary”!
Why because you are necessary…
Have a great day
Never give up
Love
Mike
Failure only exists, only when you stop trying! My feeling is as long as God gives me the gift of life, then I will do my utmost to make the best of it. I have to try to do my best (I sound like the Boy or Girl Scouts), for myself because the “carrot” for that effort is a better and longer quality of life. Do I not deserve it? Sure I do and so do you!
We are here for a fixed period of time. We are not meant to suffer in our lives. Certainly, we are not meant to be harmful to ourselves. You and I should take advantage of every moment we have. We all deal with different problems and situations and I know at times they can become overwhelming. Yet as soon as we snap to reality and at the next available moment we can, we need to take the “ball” we have be given and “run” with it. For some of us that “run” might be just a walk or just a way to deal with it.
In my life, my constant issues have been weight related and dealing with the struggles of eating healthy and taking care of myself on a daily basis. My “disease” has taken its toll on me. I have had my “ups and downs” and yes, I do not weigh 198 pounds as I did in September of 1990 but I am still not a failure (even though some may see me as one). I have not failed and why because I have not given up! I have never stopped trying.
I fought to survive for over twenty years. I have slipped, slid, fell, bumped, backslid, and binged myself up and down hundreds and hundreds of pounds but I never failed. There was not a day that I thought that there was not any hope left for me. There was not a day, a moment that I was not willing to try and try again, even it meant to start all over again!
I am eating healthier today than I have in many of my past days. I pray that I will continue to make the right choices and if there may come a moment when I will slip again; I pray that I will have the chance to try again. Hey, life is too good, not to want to make the best of it. Fourteen years ago, I was bedbound and I knew that I wanted to survive; I knew I had to keep fighting. I knew I had things to live for and I knew that there was more ahead.
Look what my life is now. I am a Grandpa! A completely new chance to love a completely new life. To share in the energy of God’s gift of new life! I did not know then that this is what was in store for me now as I do not know now what might be in store for me tomorrow…just let me go the way!
I have said I have learned two things along my journey and one being is not to ever say I have failed as long as I am trying. The other one is simple and an obvious one but it took me a little longer to learn and to accept. That is that I am “Human”. Yep, human, in all its glory and all its meaning.
In being human, I have realized that we are not perfect in the fact that we make mistakes by nature. Once I can accept that about myself then I will not be so darn hard on myself. Boy can we be hard on ourselves. Isn’t it funny we can be patient with the whole world, we can forgive so many people in our lives that have hurt us, time and time again but when it comes to forgiving ourselves ... ??
That has been the hardest lesson to learn in my new life, yet it has been one of the best and it has been one of my most useful tools! Self-forgiveness a better tool, the primary tool before any “Diet”, Food Program”, Exercise Regiment”, “Calorie Calculator” “Pedometer” or any other tool or gimmick one may use.
Learning to forgive you is such an important and necessary step in being a Winner! If we have the gift of forgiveness for others than it is about time to give it to ourselves.
It is “Not easy to pick yourself up, when you have fallen of the righteous path of living a healthy lifestyle. After days, weeks, months of eating the right foods, making the right choices, doing the healthy things then BOOM, a moment comes and you “Goof”. Sometimes those “Goofs” last a long time and do a lot of damage and picking yourself up, brushing yourself off and starting all over again may not be easy but it is “Necessary”!
Why because you are necessary…
Have a great day
Never give up
Love
Mike
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Take Back That Power…
Do they like me? What will he think? I wonder what is she saying? I hope they agree!
How often have we or do we play these tapes inside our own heads? How many times in our lives do we look for the approval of others before we think we can be happy?
Then when we do not get what we expect, why do we give our self, permission to do some kind of self-destructive behavior. Something to make ourselves feel even worse. In many of our cases, it will lead to some kind of binge or even worse, we fall off the wagon and reverse many hours of hard work.
There are those times that people in our lives not only never give you that “Pat on the Back” but often cut you in half with some harsh words. We are human and no matter what size we are, no matter how much flesh we may have on our bones. We still feel! We still hurt! We are sensitive people with real feelings and we are not protected from pain, either physical or emotional.
The thing is it will be an almost impossible task to change those people and get them to stop hurting us (although we can try). What is more important? What will work a lot more easily is to …
TAKE AWAY THEIR POWER! Take away their power to hurt you. Let us face it is you that have given them such power! You allow them to hurt your feeling, for their opinions to count so very much. Now is the time for you to take ownership back.
No one should have such power over you, as to where a remark or lack of one, would turn your whole life upside down!
Change has to happen. As many of us know, taking off the weight often is not as difficult as keeping it off. Keeping it off is a whole project, which involves many changes…external and internal. Someone hurting us does not help our metamorphosis.
You are who you are and people who care bout you, who love you, who count just need to accept you the way you are. Now if there are things about your personality, your character, your being that you want to change…then you will add that to the list of inventory changes about you …and work on them.
In the meantime, you are here in this world first to make you the person that you like.
In order for you to change you have “to first be who you is and not who you isn’t because if you is who you isn’t you just isn’t who you is.”
I always say we can always change the packaging (our outside) but we have to like the ingredients first. We really do not need many unsolicited outside opinions. We usually have enough about ourselves.
The changes we need to make require a lot of positive energy around us and we need to be in as positive a mood as possible.
Do not give the power to others to drag you down!
Take Back That Power
You Are Worth It!
Have a wonderful day and never forget how very special you are…
Love
Mike
How often have we or do we play these tapes inside our own heads? How many times in our lives do we look for the approval of others before we think we can be happy?
Then when we do not get what we expect, why do we give our self, permission to do some kind of self-destructive behavior. Something to make ourselves feel even worse. In many of our cases, it will lead to some kind of binge or even worse, we fall off the wagon and reverse many hours of hard work.
There are those times that people in our lives not only never give you that “Pat on the Back” but often cut you in half with some harsh words. We are human and no matter what size we are, no matter how much flesh we may have on our bones. We still feel! We still hurt! We are sensitive people with real feelings and we are not protected from pain, either physical or emotional.
The thing is it will be an almost impossible task to change those people and get them to stop hurting us (although we can try). What is more important? What will work a lot more easily is to …
TAKE AWAY THEIR POWER! Take away their power to hurt you. Let us face it is you that have given them such power! You allow them to hurt your feeling, for their opinions to count so very much. Now is the time for you to take ownership back.
No one should have such power over you, as to where a remark or lack of one, would turn your whole life upside down!
Change has to happen. As many of us know, taking off the weight often is not as difficult as keeping it off. Keeping it off is a whole project, which involves many changes…external and internal. Someone hurting us does not help our metamorphosis.
You are who you are and people who care bout you, who love you, who count just need to accept you the way you are. Now if there are things about your personality, your character, your being that you want to change…then you will add that to the list of inventory changes about you …and work on them.
In the meantime, you are here in this world first to make you the person that you like.
In order for you to change you have “to first be who you is and not who you isn’t because if you is who you isn’t you just isn’t who you is.”
I always say we can always change the packaging (our outside) but we have to like the ingredients first. We really do not need many unsolicited outside opinions. We usually have enough about ourselves.
The changes we need to make require a lot of positive energy around us and we need to be in as positive a mood as possible.
Do not give the power to others to drag you down!
Take Back That Power
You Are Worth It!
Have a wonderful day and never forget how very special you are…
Love
Mike
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