Just another day. You know those days where there is no “Pomp and Circumstance”, no parties going on, no company coming over, no events, no plans ….just another day. These for many of us are the majority of days and very often the days that for me in the past were the hardest to deal with (especially when it came to my eating problems). Today is just another day, how easy that can be stated and how untrue it really is.
Just another day, who am I kidding, it is “just another day”, a day that I have awoke, that I get a chance to enjoy a sunrise. A bird sings in my yard and I hear it. I open the door and fresh air blows gently over my face. Just another day to watch a TV show, or to smile, or get to enjoy my grandson. Another day to be able to love and be loved by my wife, son, family and friends. Another day to be a player in this game we call life! How thankful I am to be this player!
Let us not forget what this day really is (the day I am writing this blog). This is a day no American, no world citizen will ever forget, today is September 11th 2008 “911”. Is it “just another day”, to over 3,000 families and loved ones, of those poor innocent people who perished so needlessly, so innocently, so tragically. I spent part of my day watching the reading of those poor victims’ names and as they read, those names I could not help notice how many were in there twenties and thirties. Having a thirty-year-old son, I could not imagine the pain, the horror of it all. All I can say is God bless theses special souls and their loved ones left behind.
If I think about it and maybe not on such a large scale (as 911) but what might be “just another day” for me and you, in someone else’s life it is a very important date. There are no days that are, “just another day”.
I know I needed to look at every day as an important day for me in order to make important changes in my life. To make healthy changes. If it were “just another day” then I would eat whatever I wanted today and then tomorrow on an “important day” I would do the right thing. Wrong! I am just as important today as I am on Christmas Day, Fourth of July, tomorrow or the next day! I am important and so is every day that I am alive.
We need to appreciate this day and everyday and make every day count …for us! We have to do the right things for ourselves just as much today as we should have done yesterday and certainly will do tomorrow.
Not everyday will there be an obvious “parade” but if you look very hard and listen real well you will hear the drums, you will see the floats and enjoy the clowns. You make those days special, even if it is just by doing something nice for someone ….even like yourself.
You wake up; you are ahead of the game and what a game it will be. Let us face it, you can look at a day and deal with a day in a two ways.
One outlook --- “oh man, another day, I don’t feel well, I am alone, I am overweight, I have no money, I can’t eat right, da da da da da”. Another outlook could be “wow, what a great day (even a cloudy, rainy day has beauty), I am alive, I get a chance to make healthy choices, I am going to make myself happy in some way today, I am a lucky person”!
Therefore my friends I know what is working for me and having a positive outlook about my life (even at the low moments), looking for that silver lining, appreciating the journey, taking one step at a time, looking at that glass as so “half full” has helped me lose over 300 pounds in three years. What is even more important than the numbers is the inner feeling of peace. I do not want you or myself to think that I am totally relaxed, I know that I am an addict (food) and I will always be an addict. Yet my positive outlook and attitude, my dealing with each battle as it arises, has helped me now, in the moment and making my life work. So far for three years, thank God!
So if you are one of those who have a little difficulty looking on the bright side, give yourself a chance, begin to love yourself, see that glass as half full. You will begin to realize that there is reason for joy in almost all times of living itself.
Those of my friends that see that silver lining, well that is great! A little suggestion (if you do not already do so) share a smile with someone (especially one who may find it difficult to see that glass as half full) I promise the rewards will be great.
Bless you all; bless all the families and victims of 911
To all my friends have a great rest of this wonderful day and a special tomorrow …
Love
Mike
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Just Twelve Pounds
Just twelve pounds, in the past that would be an immediate excuse for me to go on a binge. Let me explain. In the past when I was “dieting” and trying to lose weight, I was a slave to the scale. I would weigh myself in the morning, afternoon, and evening. I would weigh myself before a shower and then of course after a shower (hey dirt has weight too). I would take a drink of water, weigh the glass of water, weigh myself before drinking it and then after I drank it, just to see how much weight I gained. Yes, I was compulsive and obsessed with that scale.
Then numbers were a big part of this “weigh” of life. I wanted to see how much weight I lost in a day, a week, a month. Not only was I interested in these numbers but it seemed like many of my family, friends were too. As a matter of fact the whole world seemed interested. A common greeting to me, would be “Hi Mike, how much weight did you lose this week”? Believe me if that number was not high (in the double digits) many of them did not hesitate to say, “Oh, you had a bad week”? Some people might think nine pounds in a week was not bad but for Mike Hebranko it was not good enough. Not even for my own standards.
This is a “heavy” burden to put on oneself, a lot of pressure to be under. This way of life I truly believe was part of (not totally) but part of my overall unhealthy way of losing my weight in the past. Probably contributed to me gaining so many times, my weight back.
Part of my “new outlook”, my new “weigh” of life, what I like to call, my "journey down the road of recovery” is …
I do not have a scale in my home!!! I now weigh myself once every three months and that is at my doctor’s office, only because she requires it.
I do not care what I weigh. What I do care about is how I feel. Am I feeling well, am I able to do more things each day. Am I making progress and yes am I eating within my plan? If I can answer yes to these questions then I know I am getting better and better with each day.
To many times in the past, have I played the “number” games only to lose at the end, and I am not talking about losing weight. Yes, I would lose weight, only to gain it back and then some.
I knew that changes had to be made. I knew that with each experience, I had to learn something and I did. It may have taken a long time, it may have even almost cost me my life at times. I know that some people around me today may not exactly understand or even agree with me and my methods, attitudes or the way I do things. Yet I know, what is working for me. I know how I feel in my head. I have come to a point in my life (over the last few years) where I am achieving an inner peace and a certain co-existence with my own disease (my eating addiction). No longer am I in a race, no longer am I looking for the magic answers, no longer am I trying every new diet, gadget, and procedure out there to lose weight.
I have realized that food is here to stay, I will have to eat at least three meals a day for the rest of my life and if I want to have any length or quality to that life, I better find some way of life, that is going to work for me and hopefully forever.
My twenty years of serious searching and trying to win this battle, plus being in the rehabilitation center for the 36 months I have had a realization. What works for me, is not starvation, not depravation, not elimination, what works for me is simple. Exactly …simple. K.I..S.T. Keeping It Simple for Today! I will basically eat about 1200 to 1400 calories a day and simple ones. Tuna for lunch, Chicken for dinner, simply prepared, sometimes a mushroom omelet made with eggbeaters. There may be occasions where I may go to 1600 calories or a little more (a wedding, party, etc); otherwise, I try not to stimulate the taste buds to much. I am not talking about the taste buds on my tongue but the taste buds in my mind! The better it looks, the better it taste, then the more I want and boy, if I want more and if I cannot control that urge, I can eat a tremendous amount food. I know this because I have done so in the past, (remember 1,000 pounds).
Now in the old days if I was on 1200 calories, the weight would melt off and the numbers would drop on that scale like a “hot potato”. A fact, now due to all the years of yo-yo dieting, losing weight (body muscle) and then gaining it back (more body fat), and along with getting older has effected my metabolism greatly and the weight just does not come off like it use too.
That is okay, it is what it is. I am thankful that it is coming off at all.
Back to “Just Twelve Pounds”. Therefore, I am at the doctor’s office, I get on the scale with no anticipation in my body, the digital number begins to appear. I had lost another 12 pounds. That is 12 pounds in three months, a pound a week! Some may say “just a pound a week”, I say “are you kidding”? The thing is I am not gaining.
My body is slowly losing the weight and this is a good thing for me. I say, I have no goals (as far as weight numbers) this time. If I never reach that number goal then I do not have to worry about “then what”! I know I cannot lose forever and eventually I will have to deal with some kind of maintenance and I have an Idea of how to do that when the time comes. It will be a while.
Twelve pounds, when those people say, “That is not so good”; I think to myself “you are entitled to your opinion”. Some even come to the brilliant conclusion, “you must be eating”. “Guess what? I am eating. Three times a day, everyday”.
If I need to boost my ego, I could tell people or just remind myself that in the past three years I have lost over 320 pounds or that I have lost over 100 pounds since I am home from rehab. (14 months). The one I love the best for some reason is when I got on the doctors scale this week I was 380 pounds.
I love that because that means getting around better. It means having one of the best summers I had in many many years. It meant attending family weddings, christenings, going to Atlantic City for the day and even for the first time in over 15 years I was able to stand by my wife’s side when we recently had to say goodbye to her (our) dear Aunt Ruthie a lovely lady who past away. She will be missed dearly. I was able to be like any other husband and be with my wife and her family through this terribly sad time. Let me mention we traveled over 100 miles to get there and did it two days in a row. To put things in perspective, my dad past away in 1996 and the funeral was a ½ a block from my home and I could not attend.
Three hundred and eighty pounds means a little more freedom than 400 pounds and a lot more freedom than 700 pounds.
As long as I stay focused, stay positive; continue to love life, my family, friends and the good Lord himself things will be okay. I know I have to Keep It Simple, and as long as I can stay “light” in my head, smile as often as possible, my goals will be reached. None of those goals involve numbers (scale numbers).
I will share with you one new goal that has been popping up in my heart lately. When I was a teenager one of the happiest days of my life was the day I opened up the mail and there it was, my “drivers license”, wow what a feeling of joy. Well I had to give up my license and I have not driven now it has to be since about 1993. I am going to drive again, not sure when but I am going to do it! I feel it in my bones, I just have to get my legs to work a little better and be sure to be able to fit behind the wheel, and then…..I am off!
Who knows, maybe I be driving through your town one day and we can say hi!
My friends take it from me, do not play the number games, do not get crazy on what that scale says today, and do not let it rule your life. Better still, concentrate on “change” (do I sound like a politician)? The kind of change that will better the quality of your life.
Let me share something with all of you, even my friends that do not suffer from the “weight” struggles. Change is good (for the most part) especially if it will better your life. If you could smile a little more, feel better about yourself, be more comfortable within your surroundings and with the people around you then begin to make the changes necessary.
Twelve pounds does not drive me crazy, it makes me happy! I lost twelve pounds, I have had a steady loss for three years, and it is a trend and new life for me. More important I have not “binged” for three years. Now that is something I cannot believe I can say. So that twelve pounds represents a new life for me and at 55, a new life is pretty cool! I am a lucky guy!
Lucky to have the people around me that I have, lucky to be able to share my blog with you, lucky to be alive and living better each day!
Have a wonderful day, and appreciate what you have for there is someone out there who has a lot less.
Love
Mike
Then numbers were a big part of this “weigh” of life. I wanted to see how much weight I lost in a day, a week, a month. Not only was I interested in these numbers but it seemed like many of my family, friends were too. As a matter of fact the whole world seemed interested. A common greeting to me, would be “Hi Mike, how much weight did you lose this week”? Believe me if that number was not high (in the double digits) many of them did not hesitate to say, “Oh, you had a bad week”? Some people might think nine pounds in a week was not bad but for Mike Hebranko it was not good enough. Not even for my own standards.
This is a “heavy” burden to put on oneself, a lot of pressure to be under. This way of life I truly believe was part of (not totally) but part of my overall unhealthy way of losing my weight in the past. Probably contributed to me gaining so many times, my weight back.
Part of my “new outlook”, my new “weigh” of life, what I like to call, my "journey down the road of recovery” is …
I do not have a scale in my home!!! I now weigh myself once every three months and that is at my doctor’s office, only because she requires it.
I do not care what I weigh. What I do care about is how I feel. Am I feeling well, am I able to do more things each day. Am I making progress and yes am I eating within my plan? If I can answer yes to these questions then I know I am getting better and better with each day.
To many times in the past, have I played the “number” games only to lose at the end, and I am not talking about losing weight. Yes, I would lose weight, only to gain it back and then some.
I knew that changes had to be made. I knew that with each experience, I had to learn something and I did. It may have taken a long time, it may have even almost cost me my life at times. I know that some people around me today may not exactly understand or even agree with me and my methods, attitudes or the way I do things. Yet I know, what is working for me. I know how I feel in my head. I have come to a point in my life (over the last few years) where I am achieving an inner peace and a certain co-existence with my own disease (my eating addiction). No longer am I in a race, no longer am I looking for the magic answers, no longer am I trying every new diet, gadget, and procedure out there to lose weight.
I have realized that food is here to stay, I will have to eat at least three meals a day for the rest of my life and if I want to have any length or quality to that life, I better find some way of life, that is going to work for me and hopefully forever.
My twenty years of serious searching and trying to win this battle, plus being in the rehabilitation center for the 36 months I have had a realization. What works for me, is not starvation, not depravation, not elimination, what works for me is simple. Exactly …simple. K.I..S.T. Keeping It Simple for Today! I will basically eat about 1200 to 1400 calories a day and simple ones. Tuna for lunch, Chicken for dinner, simply prepared, sometimes a mushroom omelet made with eggbeaters. There may be occasions where I may go to 1600 calories or a little more (a wedding, party, etc); otherwise, I try not to stimulate the taste buds to much. I am not talking about the taste buds on my tongue but the taste buds in my mind! The better it looks, the better it taste, then the more I want and boy, if I want more and if I cannot control that urge, I can eat a tremendous amount food. I know this because I have done so in the past, (remember 1,000 pounds).
Now in the old days if I was on 1200 calories, the weight would melt off and the numbers would drop on that scale like a “hot potato”. A fact, now due to all the years of yo-yo dieting, losing weight (body muscle) and then gaining it back (more body fat), and along with getting older has effected my metabolism greatly and the weight just does not come off like it use too.
That is okay, it is what it is. I am thankful that it is coming off at all.
Back to “Just Twelve Pounds”. Therefore, I am at the doctor’s office, I get on the scale with no anticipation in my body, the digital number begins to appear. I had lost another 12 pounds. That is 12 pounds in three months, a pound a week! Some may say “just a pound a week”, I say “are you kidding”? The thing is I am not gaining.
My body is slowly losing the weight and this is a good thing for me. I say, I have no goals (as far as weight numbers) this time. If I never reach that number goal then I do not have to worry about “then what”! I know I cannot lose forever and eventually I will have to deal with some kind of maintenance and I have an Idea of how to do that when the time comes. It will be a while.
Twelve pounds, when those people say, “That is not so good”; I think to myself “you are entitled to your opinion”. Some even come to the brilliant conclusion, “you must be eating”. “Guess what? I am eating. Three times a day, everyday”.
If I need to boost my ego, I could tell people or just remind myself that in the past three years I have lost over 320 pounds or that I have lost over 100 pounds since I am home from rehab. (14 months). The one I love the best for some reason is when I got on the doctors scale this week I was 380 pounds.
I love that because that means getting around better. It means having one of the best summers I had in many many years. It meant attending family weddings, christenings, going to Atlantic City for the day and even for the first time in over 15 years I was able to stand by my wife’s side when we recently had to say goodbye to her (our) dear Aunt Ruthie a lovely lady who past away. She will be missed dearly. I was able to be like any other husband and be with my wife and her family through this terribly sad time. Let me mention we traveled over 100 miles to get there and did it two days in a row. To put things in perspective, my dad past away in 1996 and the funeral was a ½ a block from my home and I could not attend.
Three hundred and eighty pounds means a little more freedom than 400 pounds and a lot more freedom than 700 pounds.
As long as I stay focused, stay positive; continue to love life, my family, friends and the good Lord himself things will be okay. I know I have to Keep It Simple, and as long as I can stay “light” in my head, smile as often as possible, my goals will be reached. None of those goals involve numbers (scale numbers).
I will share with you one new goal that has been popping up in my heart lately. When I was a teenager one of the happiest days of my life was the day I opened up the mail and there it was, my “drivers license”, wow what a feeling of joy. Well I had to give up my license and I have not driven now it has to be since about 1993. I am going to drive again, not sure when but I am going to do it! I feel it in my bones, I just have to get my legs to work a little better and be sure to be able to fit behind the wheel, and then…..I am off!
Who knows, maybe I be driving through your town one day and we can say hi!
My friends take it from me, do not play the number games, do not get crazy on what that scale says today, and do not let it rule your life. Better still, concentrate on “change” (do I sound like a politician)? The kind of change that will better the quality of your life.
Let me share something with all of you, even my friends that do not suffer from the “weight” struggles. Change is good (for the most part) especially if it will better your life. If you could smile a little more, feel better about yourself, be more comfortable within your surroundings and with the people around you then begin to make the changes necessary.
Twelve pounds does not drive me crazy, it makes me happy! I lost twelve pounds, I have had a steady loss for three years, and it is a trend and new life for me. More important I have not “binged” for three years. Now that is something I cannot believe I can say. So that twelve pounds represents a new life for me and at 55, a new life is pretty cool! I am a lucky guy!
Lucky to have the people around me that I have, lucky to be able to share my blog with you, lucky to be alive and living better each day!
Have a wonderful day, and appreciate what you have for there is someone out there who has a lot less.
Love
Mike
Friday, August 15, 2008
“Man Plans and God Laughs ….”
I am writing this on August 16, 2008 and just three years ago on this date, I experienced one of the most joyous events in my life (right up there with the birth of my son and my wedding day), it was the birth of my grandson. I speak from two points of views, the first is like any proud grandparent. A grandchild is such a gift, such a pleasure, they usually come in the “autumn of our lives” and if I may say so my self, the timing is just perfect. When my grandson is near me, or he calls me “GaGa” or I am holding him, every single ache and pain is gone. I can think of nothing else but being at his beckon call for every moment, he needs me. Nothing but pleasure and the most joyous thoughts are in my mind. To, even just look at him brings a feeling of euphoria all throughout my being. Let me share a story with you with this game between him and I that just melts me. My wife (and son) has taught my grandson to enjoy teasing me and he loves to and gets the biggest kick out of it. For example; I will ask him “how much you love everybody in the whole world”, he will proceed to stretch out his little arms as far as can be and say “this much Ga Ga”. Then I will say and much do you love me and he takes his cute little thumb and pointer finger and squeezes it close together and say “only this much Ga Ga” then he will get hysterical laughing. I just melt and eat it up (and at the same time could eat him up too.).
Being a grandpa is a feeling that I just cannot explain. I am sure all my grandparent friends out there can understand, exactly what I am talking about.
Today is special for me for another reason. Now do not get me wrong, I have the greatest amount of respect for the medical professionals (especially my current doctor and the medical team that helps keeps me going) but until I found this current team did I go for an emotional ride! ….
Since I was “eighteen” years of age, all that doctors and many lay people would tell me was “Michael you are not going to live to twenty-one years old, especially if you do not lose weight”.
Then at “twenty-one” the doctors said “for sure you will never see ‘twenty-five’ years of age”. At “twenty-five”, I was told “at over 500 pounds, forget seeing “thirty” years old.
In addition to all that good medical advise, from the time I was ten years old I remember my grandmother saying if I, didn’t “lose weight I would never find a girl to love me and marry me”. Over the years, other family members felt it was there obligation to tell me the exact same thing.
The best was when I did get married I had doctors tell me “at 450-500 pounds you will never become a father you definitely have to lose weight”.
Well, “Man Plans and God Laughs”.
I found a girl to love and marry me and it just happen to be the girl of my dreams. She is not only my best friend, she is my soul mate, my life long lover and she comes with a great family. I am proud to say we will be married “thirty-three” years this coming June. I also became a daddy at twenty-four years old and yes, I was over 450 pounds
(I am not bragging, just saying what is so). By the way, I will be fifty-six on my next birthday.
Besides who ever thought, I certainly did not in my wildest dream ever think, that someday I would be celebrating the third birthday of my grandson. I love humankind and for the most part human beings are great but God is better.
Hey, I am not saying that those doctors were all together wrong, they were basing their opinions on scientific facts and statistics and common sense. Unfortunately, 400, 500-pound people do not live long lives. The quality of life at 800 pounds is compromised. My grandmother and family meant well in their own way, I know that.
Yet you cannot live your life in fear! You have to do the best you can, make the best out of the situation and have faith. All things are possible if you believe. First, you believe, next, you hang on and then you finally do something to make changes.
Change is such a funny thing. You know basically I have either been home bound, hospitalized or in a rehabilitation centers over the last 15 to 18 years, so therefore I have not been out in the world a lot.
Over the last year, I am out at least two to four days a week.
One of the changes I have experienced is, that here in New York (and maybe over the rest of the country)when you go into some of these family type (chain owned)restaurants, they now (on the menus) list the calories counts for the items.
This is a great idea and I believe it is going to revolutionize the way people eat out in the future. It will help change the way people eat. It helps you to do a reality check. An example is that “grilled chicken fajita” that you thought was healthy and a good choice, you are now find out has over 900 calories not to mention the baked potato, sour cream etc.
I now go into these restaurants and just tell the waiter or waitress, “ah, just bring me 165 calorie appetizer and a 400 calorie entrée, It doesn’t matter to me what it is, it could be paper, all I know is I want about 600calories”. They look at me as if I am crazy!
Things have changed out there and it takes time for me (any of us) to adjust but I love every moment of it and I love the opportunity to be able to be a participator rather than a spectator.
Change is good, especially when it is going to improve our life in general.
Yes, I love and appreciate all that my doctors have done for me but I know in my heart that there is a greater force that works through them. That beautiful force I call God.
In spite of what man has said over the years, I get to do something that at age 18, I never thought would happen. I never thought I would even be alive, and yet I did get married have a child and imagine I get to see my grand child celebrate his third birthday!
Thank you Lord, thank you for being in my corner, giving me the strength, sending me the right doctors, the right people in my life, my wife, my son, his beautiful wife and my grand baby….
In addition, I want to wish my “little Ga Ga” a very Happy Birthday to you …even though you only love me a little bit!!!!
To all my friends …… don’t ever lose hope, as long as there is life there is hope, there is a chance. The spark of life burns inside of all of us!
I hope and pray you have a great day and that you do something special for you!
Love
Mike
Ps
I am thinking of starting a Newsletter, please read the details on the right side of the blog page thanks!
Being a grandpa is a feeling that I just cannot explain. I am sure all my grandparent friends out there can understand, exactly what I am talking about.
Today is special for me for another reason. Now do not get me wrong, I have the greatest amount of respect for the medical professionals (especially my current doctor and the medical team that helps keeps me going) but until I found this current team did I go for an emotional ride! ….
Since I was “eighteen” years of age, all that doctors and many lay people would tell me was “Michael you are not going to live to twenty-one years old, especially if you do not lose weight”.
Then at “twenty-one” the doctors said “for sure you will never see ‘twenty-five’ years of age”. At “twenty-five”, I was told “at over 500 pounds, forget seeing “thirty” years old.
In addition to all that good medical advise, from the time I was ten years old I remember my grandmother saying if I, didn’t “lose weight I would never find a girl to love me and marry me”. Over the years, other family members felt it was there obligation to tell me the exact same thing.
The best was when I did get married I had doctors tell me “at 450-500 pounds you will never become a father you definitely have to lose weight”.
Well, “Man Plans and God Laughs”.
I found a girl to love and marry me and it just happen to be the girl of my dreams. She is not only my best friend, she is my soul mate, my life long lover and she comes with a great family. I am proud to say we will be married “thirty-three” years this coming June. I also became a daddy at twenty-four years old and yes, I was over 450 pounds
(I am not bragging, just saying what is so). By the way, I will be fifty-six on my next birthday.
Besides who ever thought, I certainly did not in my wildest dream ever think, that someday I would be celebrating the third birthday of my grandson. I love humankind and for the most part human beings are great but God is better.
Hey, I am not saying that those doctors were all together wrong, they were basing their opinions on scientific facts and statistics and common sense. Unfortunately, 400, 500-pound people do not live long lives. The quality of life at 800 pounds is compromised. My grandmother and family meant well in their own way, I know that.
Yet you cannot live your life in fear! You have to do the best you can, make the best out of the situation and have faith. All things are possible if you believe. First, you believe, next, you hang on and then you finally do something to make changes.
Change is such a funny thing. You know basically I have either been home bound, hospitalized or in a rehabilitation centers over the last 15 to 18 years, so therefore I have not been out in the world a lot.
Over the last year, I am out at least two to four days a week.
One of the changes I have experienced is, that here in New York (and maybe over the rest of the country)when you go into some of these family type (chain owned)restaurants, they now (on the menus) list the calories counts for the items.
This is a great idea and I believe it is going to revolutionize the way people eat out in the future. It will help change the way people eat. It helps you to do a reality check. An example is that “grilled chicken fajita” that you thought was healthy and a good choice, you are now find out has over 900 calories not to mention the baked potato, sour cream etc.
I now go into these restaurants and just tell the waiter or waitress, “ah, just bring me 165 calorie appetizer and a 400 calorie entrée, It doesn’t matter to me what it is, it could be paper, all I know is I want about 600calories”. They look at me as if I am crazy!
Things have changed out there and it takes time for me (any of us) to adjust but I love every moment of it and I love the opportunity to be able to be a participator rather than a spectator.
Change is good, especially when it is going to improve our life in general.
Yes, I love and appreciate all that my doctors have done for me but I know in my heart that there is a greater force that works through them. That beautiful force I call God.
In spite of what man has said over the years, I get to do something that at age 18, I never thought would happen. I never thought I would even be alive, and yet I did get married have a child and imagine I get to see my grand child celebrate his third birthday!
Thank you Lord, thank you for being in my corner, giving me the strength, sending me the right doctors, the right people in my life, my wife, my son, his beautiful wife and my grand baby….
In addition, I want to wish my “little Ga Ga” a very Happy Birthday to you …even though you only love me a little bit!!!!
To all my friends …… don’t ever lose hope, as long as there is life there is hope, there is a chance. The spark of life burns inside of all of us!
I hope and pray you have a great day and that you do something special for you!
Love
Mike
Ps
I am thinking of starting a Newsletter, please read the details on the right side of the blog page thanks!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
What is Important …
As a little child what was important to me as I can remember was … not getting a beating, my daddy not coming home drunk and my mother and father not fighting. This was an important thing for me. As I got a little older (11-13 years old) the things that were important to me were the same things as a little kid but now there were even more things to add to the list. It was important to bring home good marks from school and for my teachers and neighbors to tell my mother what a “nice kid”, “a good boy” I was. It was also important to me if my few friends I had were, going to play with me without making fun of me (because of my weight). Then there was puberty, the teen years, and a completely new group of things that were important to me. Still holding on to all the things that were important to me in the earlier years (although in all due respect my dad had stop drinking, by now, only with an “occasional backslide”) there were additional important things. Girls, my future, career, car payments, a job and college.
Many things happened to me in my twenties and the things that were important to me were interesting. Oh some great things happened to me in my twenties (some of which how great they were I really did not get at that moment). I got married, I became a daddy, I was successful in business, and I bought a house, cars, and things.
Things! I think that is what was becoming more important to me … things. I was the first in the neighborhood to have a “radar oven” a VCR (as big as a TV almost) Sound 8mm movie cameras and projectors and screen, phone in the car, taking vacations. These were important things to me. Working long ours, making money and not being poor were important to me. I was poor as a child and I did not want to be poor as an adult or for my child to want for anything. I remember as a child if I wanted something (and I was an only child), we would have to save forever before I would get it. I did not want this for my son or for my family. It was important to me that if the three of us wanted it we got it before the end of the sentence came out of our mouth.
All these things, that were important to me, came with a price! First, it was an opportunity for me to feed my disease (literally feed it). I had unlimited money and resources. Working so hard and such long hours allowed me not to take the time to take care of myself. The other big price I paid was that, trying to take care of my family so hard, I lost out, on my family so much!
Working so much took time away from them but even more not taking care of myself took its toll on my body and health and in the end robbed my family of me. Slowly I could not or would not be part of their lives on many levels. I tried in many ways to be there but it was not the same.
It amazes me even now as I write about the “then me” how I have changed. I do not know the day or time it happened but I do know now that now in my fifties “things” are so not important to me anymore.
What is important to me, now? People are important! My wife, my son, his family, oh yes my grandson, oh how I adore that little guy! He brings me such joy, and he loves to tease me and I love every minute of it.
The truth is I never got the joy from my “Radar Oven” or VCR that I got from being in a swimming pool this weekend with my grandson. Experiences are important to me.
I find now that the things that are more important to me now are less the things that I can buy but rather the gifts of life itself.
My family and friends are important to me. They are gifts of life. The opportunity to take care of myself is important to me, this is a gift of life (my chance again).
If along my way in my journey I can touch someone else, help someone else, educate someone else about my struggle (our struggle) then this is a gift of life and important to me too.
Yet if it is meant to be for me to spend the next 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 months, 5 years, or 25 years being a good husband, father, father-in-law, GRANDPA, brother-in-law, nephew, cousin, uncle, friend then that is great for me!
It is more important to be a good person, to be a loving person, to be a happy person
rather than to have a billion things!
Hey, my friends have a great day, think of what is important to you …
Love
Mike
Many things happened to me in my twenties and the things that were important to me were interesting. Oh some great things happened to me in my twenties (some of which how great they were I really did not get at that moment). I got married, I became a daddy, I was successful in business, and I bought a house, cars, and things.
Things! I think that is what was becoming more important to me … things. I was the first in the neighborhood to have a “radar oven” a VCR (as big as a TV almost) Sound 8mm movie cameras and projectors and screen, phone in the car, taking vacations. These were important things to me. Working long ours, making money and not being poor were important to me. I was poor as a child and I did not want to be poor as an adult or for my child to want for anything. I remember as a child if I wanted something (and I was an only child), we would have to save forever before I would get it. I did not want this for my son or for my family. It was important to me that if the three of us wanted it we got it before the end of the sentence came out of our mouth.
All these things, that were important to me, came with a price! First, it was an opportunity for me to feed my disease (literally feed it). I had unlimited money and resources. Working so hard and such long hours allowed me not to take the time to take care of myself. The other big price I paid was that, trying to take care of my family so hard, I lost out, on my family so much!
Working so much took time away from them but even more not taking care of myself took its toll on my body and health and in the end robbed my family of me. Slowly I could not or would not be part of their lives on many levels. I tried in many ways to be there but it was not the same.
It amazes me even now as I write about the “then me” how I have changed. I do not know the day or time it happened but I do know now that now in my fifties “things” are so not important to me anymore.
What is important to me, now? People are important! My wife, my son, his family, oh yes my grandson, oh how I adore that little guy! He brings me such joy, and he loves to tease me and I love every minute of it.
The truth is I never got the joy from my “Radar Oven” or VCR that I got from being in a swimming pool this weekend with my grandson. Experiences are important to me.
I find now that the things that are more important to me now are less the things that I can buy but rather the gifts of life itself.
My family and friends are important to me. They are gifts of life. The opportunity to take care of myself is important to me, this is a gift of life (my chance again).
If along my way in my journey I can touch someone else, help someone else, educate someone else about my struggle (our struggle) then this is a gift of life and important to me too.
Yet if it is meant to be for me to spend the next 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 months, 5 years, or 25 years being a good husband, father, father-in-law, GRANDPA, brother-in-law, nephew, cousin, uncle, friend then that is great for me!
It is more important to be a good person, to be a loving person, to be a happy person
rather than to have a billion things!
Hey, my friends have a great day, think of what is important to you …
Love
Mike
Monday, July 28, 2008
For The Want of a Hot Dog …
For the want of a hot dog, I have given up so much and to be honest I totally do not understand it! I know that by my overeating it has caused loss of quality of my life; it has caused pain in the life of my loved ones, yet in the past I tried but had many backslides. Do I know entirely why this happens, absolutely not! I do not believe anyone on this earth entirely understands why ….yet! It is not a fun thing to live with! Yet…
I openly admit that I was am and always will be addicted to food and I have had major problems controlling the amount of food that I can consume. An example of that would be “Hot Dogs”. In the past, I have been known to eat a great number of hot dogs (frankfurters). You may ask (out of curiosity) how many would that be, well the number is not important but 20 to 30 at a sitting would not be unheard of. Surprised? Well do not be. I was a man who could be over 1,000 pounds at times and I am not one of those overweight people who you hear say, “I don’t know how I got to this weight because I do not really eat”! No that is not I. “I admit, I can eat, and eat a lot”! I am not proud of this fact; it just is what it is. When I am not doing well, I eat tremendous amounts of foods and it is for this reason, I have paid an expensive price. You know what it has cost me? Well, let me tell you by telling you where my life is now, compared to where it was five summers ago, or even two summers ago.
Five summers ago I was literally stuck in bed, well over 800 pounds and not being out of the house in years (other than to be removed to be taken to hospitals). Two summers ago, I was spending each day in a Rehabilitation Center in Queens New York, working on getting physically better. I came home last June 30th and let me tell you where my life is physically right now (minus a short intermission, due to my little heart problem, which is doing much better now).
First as many of you know (I posted about it) in the beginning of June I attended a Christening of a beautiful little girl, who I had the privilege of being her Godfather. I was able to attend the church and participate in the ceremony including climbing the alter steps (that had no railings) with a little help of my son. Afterwards, I attended the party, which was miles from my home, and if I may say so, I had a great time. In contrast, my baby (my grandson) who was Christened a little less than three years ago, was done so without his grandpa, (me) being there … physically at least.
Since June, I have traveled to Downingtown, Pa. to the 60th wedding anniversary of my Aunt and Uncle, what a beautiful couple they are. Aunt Eva and Uncle Steve are the kindest, warmest, most generous people you would ever want to know. At my sickest moments throughout the years, it did not matter how they were feeling or how far they were from me. They would get in their car, (most of the time alone, some times with my cousins) and come all the way to New York to see me. I missed their 50th anniversary (my family attended); I also missed my aunts 80th birthday (my family attended). Therefore, when I received the invitation for this party a couple of months ago I said if I had to go on a stretcher, I was going. Well no stretcher was needed, I was able to get into an auto (a minivan, I sat upfront, with a seatbelt, no extension belt!) and my wife drove for 2 ½ hours down to Pennsylvania and I was able to visit them for a change. I also got to see my cousins and their families and I got to see cousins whom I haven’t seen for a while and their children who I never had the pleasure of meeting (boy am I getting old but thank God for that). It was a great experience.
We drove back that night and were able to attend Mass and just be thankful for a great day. The next day was another memorable day. Once again, we got into the car and we drove over an hour and half into Long Island (Suffolk County) where I was able to go visit the gravesites of my mom and dad. Now I have not been there in over 20 years, my mom has been there first (she passed away over 30 years ago and my dad joined her 12 years ago). I have never been to the cemetery since my dad died. As a matter, of fact when my dad past away and the funeral home was a half a bloc k from my home and I could not attend his funeral, I could not leave the house. Unfortunately, there were many events that I could not attend, both sad and joyous ones.
I think some of the hardest ones I missed were the ones that involved my son’s life. Is school plays, is little league baseball games, parent teachers conference and his High School Graduation was a rough one. Not to mention I could not be there when my son went through open-heart surgery! When he became a daddy! Why?
All because of my relationship with food. Yet it seems to be changing at this moment. All of a sudden, there are these events and I do not have to wait home anymore and ask everyone “how was it”? Who was there, what were they wearing and did anyone ask about me”? These kinds of questions are not asked anymore. All of a sudden, I look around and I am part of it. I am a player, instead of a spectator. Wow, how much fun is that? Who would have ever thought it could happen again …another chance
My life is so different now. Instead of watching Mass every Sunday morning on the television, I am now in Church every Sunday morning or Saturday evening. I go out with my wife to a restaurant now sometimes. We go shopping; we go for drives and just look at the world around us. We get to visit her mom, family, and friends. Yesterday once again I was able to be a guest again at a beautiful Christening of the grand-daughter of my very close and dear cousin. It was a lovely day with lovely people. I was not able to be at the Christening of her first grand-daughter but I am thankful and grateful for being part of this one.
While I was out to Long Island last week, my wife and I got to spend some time with friends who we knew from the rehabilitation center. We had a beautiful day by his pool with his family and some mutual friends. It was great to just sit out there and socialize instead of wondering (as I would have in the past) what was everyone was doing while I was at home …probably eating in darkness.
This next weekend I am going on a short vacation for a couple of days.
I have plans for every weekend for the month of August (look at me Mr. Social Butterfly). Then if God willing we are planning a fall vacation to Disney World with my grandson (who has been there twice already, bless him). I get to watch his face light up while he sees his hero’s like Mickey and Captain Hook. A dream of mine, which will come true.
Can I still eat 20 hot dogs? In a heartbeat! I am very well aware of that and must never forget it or let my guard down. Are there some days I go a little overboard? In all honesty not “days” at least not in a long while. There may be moments, a meal, and a situation where I may over indulge and that is when I am reminded that I am still an addict. I know I cannot let that moment or meal turn into a day anymore. Not anymore!
Not for the “want of a hot dog” am I willing to give it al up! I love my renewed life. It is so much better than the bed. The bed is good for 6 to 8 hours a day (for sleep and rest) but that is it (unless for some unfortunate reason you find yourself having to be there).
If you do not have to be in bed then get up! The world, the wonderful world is passing us buy. It may have its bumps, but it is still a beautiful world, bumps and all.
Do not let the want of a hot dog or extra piece of cake or cookies, (or anything like that) ever hold you back again! Now is the time to make the right choice!
I personally enjoy being included and part of life. Next year I want to be even more involved with maybe a little less effort on the part of my family (to help me). I know if little by little I keep trying, working at it, doing my best and willing to be patient with myself and if necessary pick myself up and keep on going forward…then I know I will make it!
What a gift we all have today, and that gift is, today itself! Make the rest of today a great one. Give someone a call, tell someone you love them, smile, and laugh a little and most of all ….
Do something good for you.
Peace
Love
Mike
I openly admit that I was am and always will be addicted to food and I have had major problems controlling the amount of food that I can consume. An example of that would be “Hot Dogs”. In the past, I have been known to eat a great number of hot dogs (frankfurters). You may ask (out of curiosity) how many would that be, well the number is not important but 20 to 30 at a sitting would not be unheard of. Surprised? Well do not be. I was a man who could be over 1,000 pounds at times and I am not one of those overweight people who you hear say, “I don’t know how I got to this weight because I do not really eat”! No that is not I. “I admit, I can eat, and eat a lot”! I am not proud of this fact; it just is what it is. When I am not doing well, I eat tremendous amounts of foods and it is for this reason, I have paid an expensive price. You know what it has cost me? Well, let me tell you by telling you where my life is now, compared to where it was five summers ago, or even two summers ago.
Five summers ago I was literally stuck in bed, well over 800 pounds and not being out of the house in years (other than to be removed to be taken to hospitals). Two summers ago, I was spending each day in a Rehabilitation Center in Queens New York, working on getting physically better. I came home last June 30th and let me tell you where my life is physically right now (minus a short intermission, due to my little heart problem, which is doing much better now).
First as many of you know (I posted about it) in the beginning of June I attended a Christening of a beautiful little girl, who I had the privilege of being her Godfather. I was able to attend the church and participate in the ceremony including climbing the alter steps (that had no railings) with a little help of my son. Afterwards, I attended the party, which was miles from my home, and if I may say so, I had a great time. In contrast, my baby (my grandson) who was Christened a little less than three years ago, was done so without his grandpa, (me) being there … physically at least.
Since June, I have traveled to Downingtown, Pa. to the 60th wedding anniversary of my Aunt and Uncle, what a beautiful couple they are. Aunt Eva and Uncle Steve are the kindest, warmest, most generous people you would ever want to know. At my sickest moments throughout the years, it did not matter how they were feeling or how far they were from me. They would get in their car, (most of the time alone, some times with my cousins) and come all the way to New York to see me. I missed their 50th anniversary (my family attended); I also missed my aunts 80th birthday (my family attended). Therefore, when I received the invitation for this party a couple of months ago I said if I had to go on a stretcher, I was going. Well no stretcher was needed, I was able to get into an auto (a minivan, I sat upfront, with a seatbelt, no extension belt!) and my wife drove for 2 ½ hours down to Pennsylvania and I was able to visit them for a change. I also got to see my cousins and their families and I got to see cousins whom I haven’t seen for a while and their children who I never had the pleasure of meeting (boy am I getting old but thank God for that). It was a great experience.
We drove back that night and were able to attend Mass and just be thankful for a great day. The next day was another memorable day. Once again, we got into the car and we drove over an hour and half into Long Island (Suffolk County) where I was able to go visit the gravesites of my mom and dad. Now I have not been there in over 20 years, my mom has been there first (she passed away over 30 years ago and my dad joined her 12 years ago). I have never been to the cemetery since my dad died. As a matter, of fact when my dad past away and the funeral home was a half a bloc k from my home and I could not attend his funeral, I could not leave the house. Unfortunately, there were many events that I could not attend, both sad and joyous ones.
I think some of the hardest ones I missed were the ones that involved my son’s life. Is school plays, is little league baseball games, parent teachers conference and his High School Graduation was a rough one. Not to mention I could not be there when my son went through open-heart surgery! When he became a daddy! Why?
All because of my relationship with food. Yet it seems to be changing at this moment. All of a sudden, there are these events and I do not have to wait home anymore and ask everyone “how was it”? Who was there, what were they wearing and did anyone ask about me”? These kinds of questions are not asked anymore. All of a sudden, I look around and I am part of it. I am a player, instead of a spectator. Wow, how much fun is that? Who would have ever thought it could happen again …another chance
My life is so different now. Instead of watching Mass every Sunday morning on the television, I am now in Church every Sunday morning or Saturday evening. I go out with my wife to a restaurant now sometimes. We go shopping; we go for drives and just look at the world around us. We get to visit her mom, family, and friends. Yesterday once again I was able to be a guest again at a beautiful Christening of the grand-daughter of my very close and dear cousin. It was a lovely day with lovely people. I was not able to be at the Christening of her first grand-daughter but I am thankful and grateful for being part of this one.
While I was out to Long Island last week, my wife and I got to spend some time with friends who we knew from the rehabilitation center. We had a beautiful day by his pool with his family and some mutual friends. It was great to just sit out there and socialize instead of wondering (as I would have in the past) what was everyone was doing while I was at home …probably eating in darkness.
This next weekend I am going on a short vacation for a couple of days.
I have plans for every weekend for the month of August (look at me Mr. Social Butterfly). Then if God willing we are planning a fall vacation to Disney World with my grandson (who has been there twice already, bless him). I get to watch his face light up while he sees his hero’s like Mickey and Captain Hook. A dream of mine, which will come true.
Can I still eat 20 hot dogs? In a heartbeat! I am very well aware of that and must never forget it or let my guard down. Are there some days I go a little overboard? In all honesty not “days” at least not in a long while. There may be moments, a meal, and a situation where I may over indulge and that is when I am reminded that I am still an addict. I know I cannot let that moment or meal turn into a day anymore. Not anymore!
Not for the “want of a hot dog” am I willing to give it al up! I love my renewed life. It is so much better than the bed. The bed is good for 6 to 8 hours a day (for sleep and rest) but that is it (unless for some unfortunate reason you find yourself having to be there).
If you do not have to be in bed then get up! The world, the wonderful world is passing us buy. It may have its bumps, but it is still a beautiful world, bumps and all.
Do not let the want of a hot dog or extra piece of cake or cookies, (or anything like that) ever hold you back again! Now is the time to make the right choice!
I personally enjoy being included and part of life. Next year I want to be even more involved with maybe a little less effort on the part of my family (to help me). I know if little by little I keep trying, working at it, doing my best and willing to be patient with myself and if necessary pick myself up and keep on going forward…then I know I will make it!
What a gift we all have today, and that gift is, today itself! Make the rest of today a great one. Give someone a call, tell someone you love them, smile, and laugh a little and most of all ….
Do something good for you.
Peace
Love
Mike
Friday, July 18, 2008
Not such good choices …
Often people ask me (or write me) “Mike I had a bad day, what do I do”, “Mike, I have been cheating, and I can not stop”, or “Mike, I “screwed” up and I can not believe it, how do I get back on track’?
What can I say? In life, in general there will be choices that we make sometimes that will not always turn out to be the smartest choices, especially when we get the chance to look back at them. So, what do we do?
We are not going to shoot ourselves, jump out windows, life is too precious, too beautiful, too valuable to do harm to ourselves. Whether it be something as drastic as physical harm or as painful as emotional harm, we cannot look back at our mistakes with the purpose to punish ourselves in anyway.
Mistakes will happen, and then these become opportunities to learn… healthy lessons and then … go on from there. I think the sooner most of us realize that we are human (and being human we will make mistakes) the sooner we will all be better off. Some of us are too hard on ourselves and we raise the bar to levels that at times are unreachable.
It is nice to set goals but along that journey, we need to plan for the bumps in the road!
In my life, I am an addict when it comes to food. I have been an addicted to food for more years than I am even conscious of. I do not have to tell anyone that I have made many “not so good choices”. Ones that have almost cost me my life both literally and certainly lifestyle wise. I have “dieted” off more pounds probably than any living human being on this planet has. I have also made some of the worse choices than many poor souls, choices that have cost me and set me back thousands of steps.
Yet I stand (sit) here today and tell you that I am a happy, grateful man. A man, who loves life, loves his family and friends and even more so, loves himself. I cannot (I will not) allow myself to “punish” me, beat myself up for all the times that I attempted (successfully at times) to do the correct thing.
No, I have to deal with today. Today I have to do it for me. I have K.I.S.T. (Keep It Simple Today)! I am enjoying this day, loving my experience, dealing with the moment.
I had a friend recently get in touch with me in despair. They had been taking care of themselves with some good results (those stupid numbers on the scale were falling). Suddenly they had a “Bad Day” and were eating all day. They told me nothing was going on in their life (negatively) at the time, actually, they were happy. Yet they were surprised (or annoyed) that they still had the “disease”, even after all their success.
The fact is our disease (of addiction) is not going anywhere. It is here to stay and the best we can hope for is to have it under control some times (most times hopefully). Okay, that is it. It took me a long time to realize this, that "I will never be cured"!
I am not going to go around feeling sorry for myself because the fact is out of all the diseases in the world, I (we) could have worse!
My main concern with my friend was that the one day was not going to be permission to beat themselves up and have another bad day and another and another etc! That is often what we do! Remember, no one meal, no one day puts on thirty pounds, or a hundred pounds, or three hundred pounds. That takes time and choice after choice!
Stop! Catch yourself! Brush yourself off! Most importantly is “Forgive” yourself! Go on to the next healthy choice!
I was in sales for many years and they use to say, “You were as only good as your last sale”. Well your last choice you made in life, whether it was a good one or a “not so good” one was in the past.
The choice that counts now, is the one you make right now!
Let us make the rest of this day count and mark it off in our books as a great finish to a wonderful day!
You my friends have a special day, may it be filled with the joy of nature and the well-being of you working on you!
Remember you are perfect and sometimes you might make a mistake …so what …. Go on!
Take care, smile and be well ….
Love
Mike
What can I say? In life, in general there will be choices that we make sometimes that will not always turn out to be the smartest choices, especially when we get the chance to look back at them. So, what do we do?
We are not going to shoot ourselves, jump out windows, life is too precious, too beautiful, too valuable to do harm to ourselves. Whether it be something as drastic as physical harm or as painful as emotional harm, we cannot look back at our mistakes with the purpose to punish ourselves in anyway.
Mistakes will happen, and then these become opportunities to learn… healthy lessons and then … go on from there. I think the sooner most of us realize that we are human (and being human we will make mistakes) the sooner we will all be better off. Some of us are too hard on ourselves and we raise the bar to levels that at times are unreachable.
It is nice to set goals but along that journey, we need to plan for the bumps in the road!
In my life, I am an addict when it comes to food. I have been an addicted to food for more years than I am even conscious of. I do not have to tell anyone that I have made many “not so good choices”. Ones that have almost cost me my life both literally and certainly lifestyle wise. I have “dieted” off more pounds probably than any living human being on this planet has. I have also made some of the worse choices than many poor souls, choices that have cost me and set me back thousands of steps.
Yet I stand (sit) here today and tell you that I am a happy, grateful man. A man, who loves life, loves his family and friends and even more so, loves himself. I cannot (I will not) allow myself to “punish” me, beat myself up for all the times that I attempted (successfully at times) to do the correct thing.
No, I have to deal with today. Today I have to do it for me. I have K.I.S.T. (Keep It Simple Today)! I am enjoying this day, loving my experience, dealing with the moment.
I had a friend recently get in touch with me in despair. They had been taking care of themselves with some good results (those stupid numbers on the scale were falling). Suddenly they had a “Bad Day” and were eating all day. They told me nothing was going on in their life (negatively) at the time, actually, they were happy. Yet they were surprised (or annoyed) that they still had the “disease”, even after all their success.
The fact is our disease (of addiction) is not going anywhere. It is here to stay and the best we can hope for is to have it under control some times (most times hopefully). Okay, that is it. It took me a long time to realize this, that "I will never be cured"!
I am not going to go around feeling sorry for myself because the fact is out of all the diseases in the world, I (we) could have worse!
My main concern with my friend was that the one day was not going to be permission to beat themselves up and have another bad day and another and another etc! That is often what we do! Remember, no one meal, no one day puts on thirty pounds, or a hundred pounds, or three hundred pounds. That takes time and choice after choice!
Stop! Catch yourself! Brush yourself off! Most importantly is “Forgive” yourself! Go on to the next healthy choice!
I was in sales for many years and they use to say, “You were as only good as your last sale”. Well your last choice you made in life, whether it was a good one or a “not so good” one was in the past.
The choice that counts now, is the one you make right now!
Let us make the rest of this day count and mark it off in our books as a great finish to a wonderful day!
You my friends have a special day, may it be filled with the joy of nature and the well-being of you working on you!
Remember you are perfect and sometimes you might make a mistake …so what …. Go on!
Take care, smile and be well ….
Love
Mike
Thursday, July 3, 2008
INDEPENDENCE
I write this on the third day of July and in our country, that is the day before “Independence Day”! Independence, a very interesting word and an even stronger concept. I do not want to talk (although appropriate) about political Independence. What I do want to talk about is “Personal Independence”.
Personal independence is so powerful! It comes to all of us on so many different levels. Two levels that I will mention right now is “Physical and Emotional”
Physical Independence can be obvious sometimes. You might be able to run a full marathon, go earn a living, and build a house. Your physical independence may be a limited on different levels. This can be rough, trust me I know. Although I never ways at the marathon level (I almost was) but I have been at the level of total dependence on others for everything. Even today, I am far from totally “Physically” Independent but I stride each day in every way to get better and better and better! For me I am lucky, my physical world can get better. 100% better? Not sure! Yet better than today is certainly better than it was yesterday! For some of us the Physical Situation might not get better due to some serious illness. Those ones have to fight hard to hold on to whatever physical independence is theirs.
What we all have and all have complete control of is our “Emotional Independence”. Now that is some powerful stuff! No one can give it to you and no one can take it away from you. It can be developed, improved, and made stronger. It takes working at it!
You and I are in charge of our emotions and the sooner we get it the sooner life works a little better.
Emotional independence means freedom from all things! Yes things, we all become part of our worldly things. What we have, what we do not have! “He has a car, they have a flat screen TV”, and “I have two Computers”, things, things, things, things. We become all about our things! Well I have had so many things and I was all about things. Guess what? I lost them all at one time or another. What is important to me is Health, Family and relationships.
My emotional independence helps me to be a stronger person and compensates for any physical limitations I do have. My emotional independence allows me to put things into perspective. A great example is I have been very sick over the last four months. There were days that I could not find the strength to get a glass of water. When you are sick, your spirit is one of the things that get attack quickly. You better make sure you are prepared for it (like a storm). Lucky I am positive enough that I was able to hang on and get through this crisis. If I was not emotionally independent, it might not have happened.
Hey, there were moments I was down in spirit, frightened, outright scared but always deep down in side of me there was a light that burned bright. One that I knew was my hope, my emotional independence. You have to work on it, it has to be fed both emotionally and spiritually all the time, it just does not burn on its own forever.
I have now passed this crisis for the time being (hopefully forever on this one) and it has helped make me even a stronger person, as should every experience do. Yet you have to allow yourself to get the “positive” out of each and every experience...
My friends, life is great!
Even at sometimes the darkest moments, it is still a great thing.
Life is a wonderful gift given to all of us!
If we allow ourselves to be burdened with everything that is wrong with life and all the things, you do not have or lost ….well then fiddle faddle, blah, blah! NO! It is not going to work or be any fun!
Celebrate Independence! Enjoy the little things. Feed into the positive. Hang with Joy!
Fill your heart with love!
It will help when the rough times come and you need that light burning … it will be there for you too!
Happy Independence!
Love to all
Mike
Ps.
Thanks for all of you who sent along your kind wishes, thoughts, and prayers …it helped!
Personal independence is so powerful! It comes to all of us on so many different levels. Two levels that I will mention right now is “Physical and Emotional”
Physical Independence can be obvious sometimes. You might be able to run a full marathon, go earn a living, and build a house. Your physical independence may be a limited on different levels. This can be rough, trust me I know. Although I never ways at the marathon level (I almost was) but I have been at the level of total dependence on others for everything. Even today, I am far from totally “Physically” Independent but I stride each day in every way to get better and better and better! For me I am lucky, my physical world can get better. 100% better? Not sure! Yet better than today is certainly better than it was yesterday! For some of us the Physical Situation might not get better due to some serious illness. Those ones have to fight hard to hold on to whatever physical independence is theirs.
What we all have and all have complete control of is our “Emotional Independence”. Now that is some powerful stuff! No one can give it to you and no one can take it away from you. It can be developed, improved, and made stronger. It takes working at it!
You and I are in charge of our emotions and the sooner we get it the sooner life works a little better.
Emotional independence means freedom from all things! Yes things, we all become part of our worldly things. What we have, what we do not have! “He has a car, they have a flat screen TV”, and “I have two Computers”, things, things, things, things. We become all about our things! Well I have had so many things and I was all about things. Guess what? I lost them all at one time or another. What is important to me is Health, Family and relationships.
My emotional independence helps me to be a stronger person and compensates for any physical limitations I do have. My emotional independence allows me to put things into perspective. A great example is I have been very sick over the last four months. There were days that I could not find the strength to get a glass of water. When you are sick, your spirit is one of the things that get attack quickly. You better make sure you are prepared for it (like a storm). Lucky I am positive enough that I was able to hang on and get through this crisis. If I was not emotionally independent, it might not have happened.
Hey, there were moments I was down in spirit, frightened, outright scared but always deep down in side of me there was a light that burned bright. One that I knew was my hope, my emotional independence. You have to work on it, it has to be fed both emotionally and spiritually all the time, it just does not burn on its own forever.
I have now passed this crisis for the time being (hopefully forever on this one) and it has helped make me even a stronger person, as should every experience do. Yet you have to allow yourself to get the “positive” out of each and every experience...
My friends, life is great!
Even at sometimes the darkest moments, it is still a great thing.
Life is a wonderful gift given to all of us!
If we allow ourselves to be burdened with everything that is wrong with life and all the things, you do not have or lost ….well then fiddle faddle, blah, blah! NO! It is not going to work or be any fun!
Celebrate Independence! Enjoy the little things. Feed into the positive. Hang with Joy!
Fill your heart with love!
It will help when the rough times come and you need that light burning … it will be there for you too!
Happy Independence!
Love to all
Mike
Ps.
Thanks for all of you who sent along your kind wishes, thoughts, and prayers …it helped!
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